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15 Minutes 15 Minutes: The Joker

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Badger

Side-Kick my Ass!
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If you could have the job/trade perfectly suited to you, what would it be?

What is your greatest regret?


What is your greatest achievement?

What is your favorite movie?

If you could cast 5 members of the Hype in your favorite movie, what

parts would they have?

How would you bring the 'Sexy' back?

What are the three things you would never do?

What brought you to the Hype?

Who is your nemesis on the Hype?

Name three people, living or dead, you would want to have dinner with?

If you could go back in time and change/stop one thing, personal or historic, what would it be?

What is the most valuable thing you own (doesn't have to be monetary)?

When would you like to retire?

What would you like to do when retired?

Do you golf? If so, what's in the bag?

What is your worst habit? Your best habit?

Any nightmare sexual experiences? Care to share?

Finish this number puzzle: -2~> 2 ~> 0 ~> 3~> 3 ~> -2 ~> X

Describe your dream house.

If you could give only one piece of advice to anyone, what you it be?

What is your favorite word?

What is your least favorite word?

What turns you on?

What turns you off?

What sound do you love?

What sound do you hate?

Why should I hire you?

Please answer the following questions and give us your thoughts behind each answer.

Would you rather be mildly sick for a week or really sick for 3.5 days?

*The half day of sickness would be the first, and you'd have a "normal" feeling morning before the onset.
* "Sick" can mean a variety of things, but the main feature is "general malaise." (This may include, but is not limited to: fever, cough, sore throat, congestion, nausea, headache, lightheadedness.)
* "Mildness" is determined by having either few or mild symptoms. (You do not get to pick the symptoms).
* "Really"ness is determined by having many or severe symptoms (you do not get to pick them, and they would be sufficiently severe to cause you to miss some work).
* Severe illness would disrupt your plans.
* You could still do things while mildly ill (e.g. go to work), but you'd feel ****ty.
* If you pick severe sickness, there is a very small chance that your severe illness could be Ebola or flesh eating bacteria, which may kill you within the 3.5 days.

Would you rather be famous or be bitten by a dog on the ass?

* Keep in mind, you have no idea what you'll be famous for. Think Scott Peterson, Natalee Holloway, Tom Cruise and Anna Nicole Smith too, not just the fun/life is good kind.
* A dog bite would hurt a lot, and you would have to sit on one of those donuts for at least one week
* The dog may be a stray and/or foaming about the mouth.

Would you rather be addicted to donuts or heroin?

* Either way you get to know the local police, at least with donuts you will have a common bond.
* Donuts will make you fat, more than likely.
* Heroin will make you skinny, more than likely.
* Both will eventually kill you

Would you rather: Eat Spam OR Receive a lot of Spam?

* You have to eat the entire can, mmmmmmmmmmm yummy.
* Your Spam Filter is very unreliable, so you have to sift through the Spam folder to make sure something important wasn't sent there.

Who would you rather accidentally make a culturally insensitive remark to?

* A midget
* An albino
* An albino midget

Would you rather be a Dream Crushing Weasel or have your dreams crushed by a Dream Crushing Weasel?


* Assume you have dreams worth crushing and that getting them crushed would depress you a lengthy period of time.
* As the Dream Crushing Weasel, it is a sickness and you constantly do it. It is not a one time deal.
* Being referred to as The Weasel, basically makes you Pauly Shore.


Would you rather eat fried chicken with Colonel Sanders or pancakes with Aunt Jemima?

*Assume each would make their signature dish and that caloric intake for both meals is equal.
*Assume with Colonel Sanders there would liquor involved and that he likes to have people sit on his knee.
*Assume that Aunt Jemima is like Oprah's character in The Color Purple.

Would you rather kill the environment or kill an environmentalist?

* The environmentalist is Ed Begley Jr.
* By killing Ed Begley Jr, you make him a martyr and his message becomes even stronger.
* His family immediately forgives you, because they're good like that.
* Ed Begley Jr will feel no pain because he is not human
* Good God man, just kill him already!!

Would you rather kill a turtle or have one of your good friends become a Scientologist?

* The turtle is exotic, rare, and older than your oldest living relative.
* The turtle is named "Sam" and people call him "Sam the turtle."
* There is a 0% chance that you'll be able to convince your friend to renounce his/her scientologist beliefs.
* There is a 66% chance that your friend will try to convert you to scientology. This would, at the very least, be quite annoying.
* There is a 100% chance that the turtle will die when you kill it.
* You could keep the turtle shell as a memento.
* Sam's terrarium will look quite empty without him.
* You could kill Sam in any manner that you choose.

Would you rather be a **** or have everyone think you're a ****?

* If you picked to be a ****, you could be discreet.
* Haha, I know, a discreet ****.
* If everyone thinks your a ****, why not have the fun and just become one.
* ****!

Would you rather get a paper cut or eat a placenta?

* Assume that the placenta is cooked and entirely safe to eat.
* The papercut is severe enough to make you curse out loud.
* The placenta is not yours and is not related to you.
* The placenta might be gross to eat.
* Nobody likes paper cuts, except maybe emos and they don't count.

Would you rather have a dozen kids or be infertile?

* One or the other, and they can't be adopted or stolen.
* The 12 kids will all be born in 15 years.
* 12 could make you go ****ing bat **** crazy.
* No kids could make you sad and want to off yourself or the diners at the local Golden Corral.

Would you rather dissect a human corpse or go skydiving?

* Your scared of heights and a very downsy looking person packed your chute
* The corpse is a family member you like and you are not Bones, so this will haunt you forever and you will take no enjoyment in it.

Would you rather milk a cow or have your nipple bitten by an animal?

* Milking a cow could be udderly disgusting.
* Having your nipple bitten would hurt.
* What kind of animal would bite my nipple? How the hell should I know.
* It might be embarrassing to show your bitten nipple to a doctor.
* The cow might bite your nipple when you try and milk her.
* The cow will hit you in the back of the head with her **** crusted tail.

Would you rather lose an eye in a fireworks accident or get mauled by an animal and end up with a Michael Jackson nose?

* Michael Jackson's nose? Yes, his nose (or lack thereof). Assume that it comes with none of his other oddities (paleness/cleft chin/singing talents/high pitched voice/predilection for sleeping with children).
* What kind of animal? One capable of mauling you.
* If you only have one functioning eye at present, you would end up blind.
* Assume that your breathing would not be negatively affected by a MJ nose.

Would you rather eat a bowl of cereal or have a jetski?

* Assume that the cereal/jetski is of average quality and brand.
* Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
* A jetski is worth a lot more than a bowl of cereal.
* You might win a prize with this bowl of cereal.
* Jetskis claim many lives per year.
* Similarly, people have been known to choke on cereal.

Would you rather have a perpetual George Hamilton tan or skip the age of 33?

* Skip 33? Yes. You would go from 32 to 34 on your birthday. If you are already over 33, then you automatically become a year older (33 is retroactively skipped).
* You might freak people out if you were always kind of orange looking.
* If you were already pretty tan (albeit orange), it would be hard to get sun burn.
* Skipping 33 puts you that much closer to 40. And 50. And the grave.
* Assume that you would suffer no ill effects from skipping a year, although your body would age 365 days.

Would you rather always be hungry or always be fat?

* Assume that you are not always hungry if you choose 'always be fat'.
* Assume that 'fat' means fatter than you are now, fatty.
* If you were hungry you could eat, but that wouldn't satisfy the hunger.
* Always being hungry could lead to being fat.
* Being fat could lead to being depressed and more eating, which might land you on TLC or some such channel.

...and go!
 
Badger, shouldn't it be "And here...we....GO!"

and my question for The Joker is what is your favorite Joker quote(s) including the movies and comics too.
 
Why did you choose The Joker as your username?

Compare and contrast yourself and The Joker (the real one. And yes, he IS real)

Do you have a Harley Quinn in your life?

Who is The Batman in your life?

Who is the best on screen Joker thus far?

Which actor do you think is/would make the best on screen Joker and why?

Best Batman/Joker moment?
 
You are about to die at the hands of... *insert random serial killer*. *Random serial killer* tells you that if you can describe to him why you deserve to live that he will indeed, let you live. What are your words?

If you could live the life of any fictional character, who would it be and why? If you pick the Joker, which portrayal of the Joker would it be?

How do you like your steaks cooked?

What is an instant turn off for you when it comes to sexual partners?

How many different languages do you speak? If only one, do you have desires of learning more or are you satisfied with Spanish?

Who, in your opinion, is the most overrated poster at the Hype?
 
If you could have the job/trade perfectly suited to you, what would it be?

Is there an equivalent to "fluffer" for female porn stars? Cause if so...that.

What is your greatest regret?

I have no regrets. And also, no remorse. They both start with re, so that means they're kind of the same!

What is your greatest achievement?

Nearly having gotten my Liberal Arts degree...and being halfway to my film degree.

What is your favorite movie?

True Romance

If you could cast 5 members of the Hype in your favorite movie, what parts would they have?

It would just be me. Cause trust me, I'm beautiful, and talented, and charismatic, and it would be the highest grossing remake ever.

How would you bring the 'Sexy' back?

With me, it never left, baby.

What are the three things you would never do?

Make out with a dude (unless it was for like, a lot of money...like, at least $84.37)
Join the Ku Klux Klan
Bone a fat broad

What brought you to the Hype?

Spider-Man: The Motion Picture....directed by James Camerson, starring Ah-nuld as Doc Ock...I didn't sign up till after Raimi and everything was confirmed though.

Who is your nemesis on the Hype?

There are way too many. I could just post my "blocked users" list, but that would be almost a page...

Name three people, living or dead, you would want to have dinner with?

Charles Manson (cause that would be a wacky dinner, man)
Trent Reznor
That lady who did those "Where's The Beef?" commercials...she seems like a good kid.

If you could go back in time and change/stop one thing, personal or historic, what would it be?

I wouldn't have eaten at Subway that time they had the big food poisoning outbreak...or you know, I'd stop some atrocity...or CAUSE some atrocity...

What is the most valuable thing you own (doesn't have to be monetary)?

My first printing, NM copy of The Killing Joke. Not monetarily valuable, but I love it.

When would you like to retire?

MARS

What would you like to do when retired?

Lie around on a pile of money with many beautiful women.

Do you golf? If so, what's in the bag?

No, but I often times don a hockey mask and fight crime with my golf bag full of sports equipment...wait...that's someone else, nevermind.

What is your worst habit? Your best habit?

Chewing on my pens is the worst.

Any nightmare sexual experiences? Care to share?

With me, anything sexual is a dream, not a nightmare.

Finish this number puzzle: -2~> 2 ~> 0 ~> 3~> 3 ~> -2 ~> X

...Math is for *****ebags :cmad:

Describe your dream house.

It would have a moat of blood, and be built from the bones of my enemies. Also, it would have like, a starbucks in it, like Tommy Lee's house. The starbucks could be built out of regular building materials.

If you could give only one piece of advice to anyone, what you it be?

Don't take any wooden nickels. Cause that advice is totally useless, unless you're some kind of re-re.

What is your favorite word?

Labia

What is your least favorite word?

Va-Jay-Jay :cmad:

What turns you on?

Leather, latex, and rubber. Skin tight.

What turns you off?

Fat chicks. And stupid chicks. And stupid fat chicks.

What sound do you love?

The sound of boots while armies walk in formation.

What sound do you hate?

Anything screechy sounding.

Why should I hire you?

If you don't hire me, I'll firebomb your building.

Please answer the following questions and give us your thoughts behind each answer.

Would you rather be mildly sick for a week or really sick for 3.5 days?

Let's go with the really sick for 3.5 days. I'll take some ebola virus or flesh eating bacteria if it gets me out of work for a couple days. Seriously, work is for chumps. Plus, if I lost a leg due to flesh eating bacteria, I could totally get disability and never have to work again. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Would you rather be famous or be bitten by a dog on the ass?

Famous. Even if you're famous for killing your wife like Peterson, you still get crazy chicks who want to bone you, and you could totally spin a book deal or talk show host gig out of it.

Would you rather be addicted to donuts or heroin?

Heroin. It seems like the quickest way to lose weight, and I wouldn't look good as a fat guy. Besides, all the cool people did heroin. Kurt Cobain, Jimmi Hendrix, Janis Joplin...

Would you rather: Eat Spam OR Receive a lot of Spam?

Eat spam. It's really not THAT bad, and I've eaten worse. I once ate an entire tea packet on a dare!

Who would you rather accidentally make a culturally insensitive remark to?


Albino midget. It would be insulting two groups I hate at the same time. Damn pale skinned shorties :cmad:


Would you rather be a Dream Crushing Weasel or have your dreams crushed by a Dream Crushing Weasel?


Being the dream crushing weasel. First off, that sounds hillarious. Second off, if it gives me more chances to say "weezin' the juice! buddy!" within some sort of context, I'm down.

Would you rather eat fried chicken with Colonel Sanders or pancakes with Aunt Jemima?

With those stipulations, chicken with the Colonel. He may be a racist old man, but there's drinking, and you just know he has the good burbon.

Would you rather kill the environment or kill an environmentalist?

If I kill Ed, his cause lives on. If I kill the whole enviroment, everyone suffers. Let's go with the whole enviroment.

Would you rather kill a turtle or have one of your good friends become a Scientologist?


I have more memories of TMNT than I care about my friends and their crazy religion. So there ain't no way I'm killing Sam the turtle.

Would you rather be a **** or have everyone think you're a ****?

Being the ****. Cause then you get to f**k a lot.

Would you rather get a paper cut or eat a placenta?

Paper cut. The other option is just disgusting.

Would you rather have a dozen kids or be infertile?

Being sterile. Man...that would be awesome. You'd never have to use a condom unless you picked up some skeezy chick at the bar, and that might just be a zit on her mouth, but it could also be mouth herpes, and if she has mouth herepes, there's a good chance she has real herpes too, so you need to wrap that s**t up, know what I'm sayin, bro?

Would you rather dissect a human corpse or go skydiving?

You don't decide what I do and don't take enjoyment in. Dissection is awesome! And I hate most of my family, so if they can be alive while I do it, all the better.

Would you rather milk a cow or have your nipple bitten by an animal?

Milking a cow isn't really that gross. So let's go with that one over the pain.

Would you rather lose an eye in a fireworks accident or get mauled by an animal and end up with a Michael Jackson nose?

The nose. I hate the thought of anything happening to either of my eyes *shudder*

Would you rather eat a bowl of cereal or have a jetski?

Jetski. I can't swim, but I could just sit on it in my garage and make engine noises. Anything is possible...with the power of imagination!

Would you rather have a perpetual George Hamilton tan or skip the age of 33?

Skipping the year sounds better. I look awful with any sort of tan.

Would you rather always be hungry or always be fat?

Always being hungry. I'm very vein.

and my question for The Joker is what is your favorite Joker quote(s) including the movies and comics too.

"Do I look like the kind of guy who has a plan?"
The joke he tells at the end of the Killing Joke
The song he sings in the Killing Joke
All the rest of his dialouge from the Killing Joke
"Never rub another mans rhubarb"
And there's more, but I dont want to run out of space here.


Why did you choose The Joker as your username?

He's my favorite comic book character, and the name was amazingly not taken. It wasn't always my forums name though.

Compare and contrast yourself and The Joker (the real one. And yes, he IS real)

I'm slightly more tan, and not quite as insane. We have a similar sense of humor, and are both incredibly vein.

Do you have a Harley Quinn in your life?

Not at the moment.

Who is The Batman in your life?

I have many, many enemies, but none who's bad blood with me is as epic as that particular fued.

Who is the best on screen Joker thus far?

They all did great jobs at playing the versions of the character they went for, but Ledger is my personal favorite. Hamill and Nicholson being very close behind though. And I'm not dissing Romero either, as he was also great for the time.

Which actor do you think is/would make the best on screen Joker and why?

That crazy dude from Revolutionary Road would be an excellent replacement for Heath if they re-cast to bring the character back.

Best Batman/Joker moment?

The Killing Joke


You are about to die at the hands of... *insert random serial killer*. *Random serial killer* tells you that if you can describe to him why you deserve to live that he will indeed, let you live. What are your words?

"If you let me live, I'll tell you where I hid the antidote"

If you could live the life of any fictional character, who would it be and why? If you pick the Joker, which portrayal of the Joker would it be?

The Joker, of course. The comic book version, as he can apparently regrow teeth, no matter how many times they get punched out, and is seemingly immortal.

How do you like your steaks cooked?

To quote Pulp Fiction, "bloody as hell"

What is an instant turn off for you when it comes to sexual partners?

A thick, Long Island accent. Like that b**ch from "The Nanny"

How many different languages do you speak? If only one, do you have desires of learning more or are you satisfied with Spanish?

I can speak some German...mainly just swearing, and what different types of weird fetish porn is called. I'd like to learn Spanish though, cause it would be handy.

Who, in your opinion, is the most overrated poster at the Hype?

Everyone who is not me.


Blondes or redheads?

Redheads. Especially Irish ones. *growl*

Fav dessert?

French silk pie/key lime pie/chocolate chip cookes...three way tie.

Pet peve?

People who say "disorientated" or "orientated." It's "oriented" and "disoriented" you stupid f**ks :cmad:!!!
 
The momentum of the earth spinning pins everything too it, like how you get pinned to your seat on a roller coaster. Or you know...magic.
 
If The Joker was real... and he asked you for oral sex... would you let him video tape it?
 
If The Joker was real... and he asked you for oral sex... would you let him video tape it?
IF? IF?! What do you mean "IF"?!! He IS real!

-------------
Questions for The Joker:

1)Have you done anything so far in your life that would qualify you as an Arkham resident?

2)What is the worst thing you've ever done to anyone?

3)What is the kindest act you've ever done?

4)Tell me a little bit about your fashion sense.
 
If The Joker was real... and he asked you for oral sex... would you let him video tape it?

...Will this tape end up on the internet?

IF? IF?! What do you mean "IF"?!! He IS real!

-------------
Questions for The Joker:

1)Have you done anything so far in your life that would qualify you as an Arkham resident?

2)What is the worst thing you've ever done to anyone?

3)What is the kindest act you've ever done?

4)Tell me a little bit about your fashion sense.

1. I have a nice amount of self control, so I haven't actually done anything that would get me thrown into a nut house yet. But if I did, I'm smart enough not to post about it online ;)

2. Back when I used to work at McDonalds, I would you know...do things to peoples food if I knew them when they came through the drive thru. Protip: You should always know if someone who hates your guts is working at a fast food resteraunt you frequent.

3. I really have no answer for this one. Given people rides? Not killed people when they really, really deserved it?

4. I mainly wear kind of dressy slacks with t-shirts. Sometimes a dress shirt thrown over them, unbuttoned. There is often times a fedora involved, but that has grown less frequent as all the damn emo kids seem to be wearing them now and ruining the look for the rest of us. When cold, I wear either a hoody with the 2004 Punisher movie skull on it, a long black leather trench coat, or a black leather motorcycle jacket. I wear my hair about shoulder length, usually slicked back. I have a goatee at the moment. I usually wear black, as it's slimming (not like I need it). I do wear color too though, usually the dress shirt will be colored (red, blue, green, white).
 
Brown Eggs or White Eggs?

Canadian Bacon or Regular Bacon?

Paper or Plastic?

If you had to pick an animal for your avvy, what would it be and why?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
 
Do you think your sarcastic attitude is an escape from your personal childhood tramua or is it because you hate yourself?
 
We all remember the tragic car accident in 1987 that claimed the lives of Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and The Tooth Fairy....if you could bring one of these national treasures back from the depths of Hell, who would it be?
 
Brown Eggs or White Eggs?

Canadian Bacon or Regular Bacon?

Paper or Plastic?

If you had to pick an animal for your avvy, what would it be and why?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

White eggs.

Regular bacon. Canadian bacon is just lunch meat.

A hyena, for obvious reasons.

A wood chuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood. By the way, that's 7. It would chuck 7 woods.

Do you think your sarcastic attitude is an escape from your personal childhood tramua or is it because you hate yourself?

It's actually because I hate you :cmad:

We all remember the tragic car accident in 1987 that claimed the lives of Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and The Tooth Fairy....if you could bring one of these national treasures back from the depths of Hell, who would it be?

Tooth Fairy. She's the only one with any sense of capitalism, plus did you know that they can be anyones teeth that you leave under the pillow?
 
31224716.jpg
 
If I had the power to turn something into a Canadian when I touch it, what happens if I touch a Canadian?
 

I can't understand a word you're saying. You aren't using words...It's just...growls.

If I had the power to turn something into a Canadian when I touch it, what happens if I touch a Canadian?

Obviously, this would breach the space time continuum, and end existance as we know it. Which would be a relief, if you were going around turning everything canadian.
 
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