15 Minutes 15 Minutes: The Spawn

Badger

Side-Kick my Ass!
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If you could have the job/trade perfectly suited to you, what would it be?
What is your greatest regret?

What is your greatest achievement?
What is your favorite movie?
If you could cast 5 members of the Hype in your favorite movie, what
parts would they have?
How would you bring the 'Sexy' back?
What are the three things you would never do?
What brought you to the Hype?
Who is your nemesis on the Hype?
Name three people, living or dead, you would want to have dinner with?
If you could go back in time and change/stop one thing, personal or historic, what would it be?
What is the most valuable thing you own (doesn't have to be monetary)?
When would you like to retire?
What would you like to do when retired?
Do you golf? If so, what's in the bag?
What is your worst habit? Your best habit?
Any nightmare sexual experiences? Care to share?
Finish this number puzzle: -2~> 2 ~> 0 ~> 3~> 3 ~> -2 ~> X
Describe your dream house.
If you could give only one piece of advice to anyone, what you it be?
What is your favorite word?
What is your least favorite word?
What turns you on?
What turns you off?
What sound do you love?
What sound do you hate?
Why should I hire you?
Please answer the following questions and give us your thoughts behind each answer.
Would you rather be mildly sick for a week or really sick for 3.5 days?
*The half day of sickness would be the first, and you'd have a "normal" feeling morning before the onset.
* "Sick" can mean a variety of things, but the main feature is "general malaise." (This may include, but is not limited to: fever, cough, sore throat, congestion, nausea, headache, lightheadedness.)
* "Mildness" is determined by having either few or mild symptoms. (You do not get to pick the symptoms).
* "Really"ness is determined by having many or severe symptoms (you do not get to pick them, and they would be sufficiently severe to cause you to miss some work).
* Severe illness would disrupt your plans.
* You could still do things while mildly ill (e.g. go to work), but you'd feel ****ty.
* If you pick severe sickness, there is a very small chance that your severe illness could be Ebola or flesh eating bacteria, which may kill you within the 3.5 days.
Would you rather be famous or be bitten by a dog on the ass?
* Keep in mind, you have no idea what you'll be famous for. Think Scott Peterson, Natalee Holloway, Tom Cruise and Anna Nicole Smith too, not just the fun/life is good kind.
* A dog bite would hurt a lot, and you would have to sit on one of those donuts for at least one week
* The dog may be a stray and/or foaming about the mouth.
Would you rather be addicted to donuts or heroin?
* Either way you get to know the local police, at least with donuts you will have a common bond.
* Donuts will make you fat, more than likely.
* Heroin will make you skinny, more than likely.
* Both will eventually kill you

Would you rather: Eat Spam OR Receive a lot of Spam?
* You have to eat the entire can, mmmmmmmmmmm yummy.
* Your Spam Filter is very unreliable, so you have to sift through the Spam folder to make sure something important wasn't sent there.
Who would you rather accidentally make a culturally insensitive remark to?

* A midget
* An albino
* An albino midget

Would you rather be a Dream Crushing Weasel or have your dreams crushed by a Dream Crushing Weasel?

* Assume you have dreams worth crushing and that getting them crushed would depress you a lengthy period of time.
* As the Dream Crushing Weasel, it is a sickness and you constantly do it. It is not a one time deal.
* Being referred to as The Weasel, basically makes you Pauly Shore.

Would you rather eat fried chicken with Colonel Sanders or pancakes with Aunt Jemima?
*Assume each would make their signature dish and that caloric intake for both meals is equal.
*Assume with Colonel Sanders there would liquor involved and that he likes to have people sit on his knee.
*Assume that Aunt Jemima is like Oprah's character in The Color Purple.
Would you rather kill the environment or kill an environmentalist?
* The environmentalist is Ed Begley Jr.
* By killing Ed Begley Jr, you make him a martyr and his message becomes even stronger.
* His family immediately forgives you, because they're good like that.
* Ed Begley Jr will feel no pain because he is not human
* Good God man, just kill him already!!
Would you rather kill a turtle or have one of your good friends become a Scientologist?

* The turtle is exotic, rare, and older than your oldest living relative.
* The turtle is named "Sam" and people call him "Sam the turtle."
* There is a 0% chance that you'll be able to convince your friend to renounce his/her scientologist beliefs.
* There is a 66% chance that your friend will try to convert you to scientology. This would, at the very least, be quite annoying.
* There is a 100% chance that the turtle will die when you kill it.
* You could keep the turtle shell as a memento.
* Sam's terrarium will look quite empty without him.
* You could kill Sam in any manner that you choose.
Would you rather be a **** or have everyone think you're a ****?
* If you picked to be a ****, you could be discreet.
* Haha, I know, a discreet ****.
* If everyone thinks your a ****, why not have the fun and just become one.
* ****!
Would you rather get a paper cut or eat a placenta?
* Assume that the placenta is cooked and entirely safe to eat.
* The papercut is severe enough to make you curse out loud.
* The placenta is not yours and is not related to you.
* The placenta might be gross to eat.
* Nobody likes paper cuts, except maybe emos and they don't count.
Would you rather have a dozen kids or be infertile?
* One or the other, and they can't be adopted or stolen.
* The 12 kids will all be born in 15 years.
* 12 could make you go ****ing bat **** crazy.
* No kids could make you sad and want to off yourself or the diners at the local Golden Corral.
Would you rather dissect a human corpse or go skydiving?
* Your scared of heights and a very downsy looking person packed your chute
* The corpse is a family member you like and you are not Bones, so this will haunt you forever and you will take no enjoyment in it.
Would you rather milk a cow or have your nipple bitten by an animal?
* Milking a cow could be udderly disgusting.
* Having your nipple bitten would hurt.
* What kind of animal would bite my nipple? How the hell should I know.
* It might be embarrassing to show your bitten nipple to a doctor.
* The cow might bite your nipple when you try and milk her.
* The cow will hit you in the back of the head with her **** crusted tail.
Would you rather lose an eye in a fireworks accident or get mauled by an animal and end up with a Michael Jackson nose?
* Michael Jackson's nose? Yes, his nose (or lack thereof). Assume that it comes with none of his other oddities (paleness/cleft chin/singing talents/high pitched voice/predilection for sleeping with children).
* What kind of animal? One capable of mauling you.
* If you only have one functioning eye at present, you would end up blind.
* Assume that your breathing would not be negatively affected by a MJ nose.
Would you rather eat a bowl of cereal or have a jetski?
* Assume that the cereal/jetski is of average quality and brand.
* Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
* A jetski is worth a lot more than a bowl of cereal.
* You might win a prize with this bowl of cereal.
* Jetskis claim many lives per year.
* Similarly, people have been known to choke on cereal.
Would you rather have a perpetual George Hamilton tan or skip the age of 33?
* Skip 33? Yes. You would go from 32 to 34 on your birthday. If you are already over 33, then you automatically become a year older (33 is retroactively skipped).
* You might freak people out if you were always kind of orange looking.
* If you were already pretty tan (albeit orange), it would be hard to get sun burn.
* Skipping 33 puts you that much closer to 40. And 50. And the grave.
* Assume that you would suffer no ill effects from skipping a year, although your body would age 365 days.
Would you rather always be hungry or always be fat?
* Assume that you are not always hungry if you choose 'always be fat'.
* Assume that 'fat' means fatter than you are now, fatty.
* If you were hungry you could eat, but that wouldn't satisfy the hunger.
* Always being hungry could lead to being fat.
* Being fat could lead to being depressed and more eating, which might land you on TLC or some such channel.
...and go!
 
If you could have the job/trade perfectly suited to you, what would it be?
Something related to art...film, writing...something that involves creativity.

What is your greatest regret?

I only have one regret really that bothers me from time to time...and it involves this one girl in my Pre-K class not getting a valentines day card from me like everyone else did because I used them as boomerangs the night before in my living room and I didn't do inventory on them afterwards

What is your greatest achievement?
Me.

What is your favorite movie?
The Matrix.

If you could cast 5 members of the Hype in your favorite movie, what
parts would they have?
Wow, all the people with personality have come and gone...but:
E. Bison Agent Smith
X-Chick Trinity
EML Cypher
The Batman Morpheus
Movies Neo

How would you bring the 'Sexy' back?
Bailouts.

What are the three things you would never do?
Forgive
Forget
Fail

What brought you to the Hype?
The hype.

Who is your nemesis on the Hype?
Everyone...its the in thing to do.

Name three people, living or dead, you would want to have dinner with?
I could see myself sitting down and eating soup or something with Bill Gates...Da Vinci and Tesla.

If you could go back in time and change/stop one thing, personal or historic, what would it be?
I would probably try and change what this country has become today when that piece of paper got signed years ago...many, many years ago...I would show them my John Hancock.

What is the most valuable thing you own (doesn't have to be monetary)?
Cameras? Camcorders? Cars?

When would you like to retire?
Never...

What would you like to do when retired?
I wouldn't like to do anything...such as, retire. If I did though, I would just write about everything.

Do you golf? If so, what's in the bag?
I don't golf...hate it.

What is your worst habit? Your best habit?
Worst is...hmmmm....I guess that's it. Best, well...I try to outdo everyone in every thing...

Any nightmare sexual experiences? Care to share?
No.

Finish this number puzzle: -2~> 2 ~> 0 ~> 3~> 3 ~> -2 ~> X
2

Describe your dream house.
Just big and dark and at the edge of a cliff overlooking the Atlantic with tons of secret rooms.

If you could give only one piece of advice to anyone, what you it be?
Carpe diem.

What is your favorite word?
Touche.

What is your least favorite word?
I love all words...without them, we'd be speechless.

What turns you on?
Independence

What turns you off?
Peachyness.

What sound do you love?
Pianos

What sound do you hate?
Snoring

Why should I hire you?
I have a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.

Please answer the following questions and give us your thoughts behind each answer.
Would you rather be mildly sick for a week or really sick for 3.5 days?
*The half day of sickness would be the first, and you'd have a "normal" feeling morning before the onset.
* "Sick" can mean a variety of things, but the main feature is "general malaise." (This may include, but is not limited to: fever, cough, sore throat, congestion, nausea, headache, lightheadedness.)
* "Mildness" is determined by having either few or mild symptoms. (You do not get to pick the symptoms).
* "Really"ness is determined by having many or severe symptoms (you do not get to pick them, and they would be sufficiently severe to cause you to miss some work).
* Severe illness would disrupt your plans.
* You could still do things while mildly ill (e.g. go to work), but you'd feel ****ty.
* If you pick severe sickness, there is a very small chance that your severe illness could be Ebola or flesh eating bacteria, which may kill you within the 3.5 days.

Mildy sick...obviously. I can deal with either one, but really sick just sounds like an annoyance...and I've got things to do.

Would you rather be famous or be bitten by a dog on the ass?
* Keep in mind, you have no idea what you'll be famous for. Think Scott Peterson, Natalee Holloway, Tom Cruise and Anna Nicole Smith too, not just the fun/life is good kind.
* A dog bite would hurt a lot, and you would have to sit on one of those donuts for at least one week
* The dog may be a stray and/or foaming about the mouth.

Famous or infamous...I don't care. I'll have an impact on you one way or the other. Bitten by a dog in the ass is another annoyance.

Would you rather be addicted to donuts or heroin?
* Either way you get to know the local police, at least with donuts you will have a common bond.
* Donuts will make you fat, more than likely.
* Heroin will make you skinny, more than likely.
* Both will eventually kill you

Heroin. I would rather burn out, than fade away.

Would you rather: Eat Spam OR Receive a lot of Spam?
* You have to eat the entire can, mmmmmmmmmmm yummy.
* Your Spam Filter is very unreliable, so you have to sift through the Spam folder to make sure something important wasn't sent there.

I have emails from 2001. Not just one or two favorites, but pages. Bring on the spam, and I don't mean from the can.

Who would you rather accidentally make a culturally insensitive remark to?

* A midget
* An albino
* An albino midget

A midget...some take it in stride. There is nothing really funny about albino insults. And its just ****ed up.

Would you rather be a Dream Crushing Weasel or have your dreams crushed by a Dream Crushing Weasel?

* Assume you have dreams worth crushing and that getting them crushed would depress you a lengthy period of time.
* As the Dream Crushing Weasel, it is a sickness and you constantly do it. It is not a one time deal.
* Being referred to as The Weasel, basically makes you Pauly Shore.

I having nothing against Pauly Shore.

Would you rather eat fried chicken with Colonel Sanders or pancakes with Aunt Jemima?
*Assume each would make their signature dish and that caloric intake for both meals is equal.
*Assume with Colonel Sanders there would liquor involved and that he likes to have people sit on his knee.
*Assume that Aunt Jemima is like Oprah's character in The Color Purple.

This question is actually hard...wow...hate to say it, but I'm gonna have to go with the liquor accompanying that fried chicken. I'm not a real huge fan of Oprah....sorry.

Would you rather kill the environment or kill an environmentalist?
* The environmentalist is Ed Begley Jr.
* By killing Ed Begley Jr, you make him a martyr and his message becomes even stronger.
* His family immediately forgives you, because they're good like that.
* Ed Begley Jr will feel no pain because he is not human
* Good God man, just kill him already!!

I feel no pity for the world really and mock the whole going green thing from time to time...I'll have to go with killing the environment. That is a yes to both choices.

Would you rather kill a turtle or have one of your good friends become a Scientologist?

* The turtle is exotic, rare, and older than your oldest living relative.
* The turtle is named "Sam" and people call him "Sam the turtle."
* There is a 0% chance that you'll be able to convince your friend to renounce his/her scientologist beliefs.
* There is a 66% chance that your friend will try to convert you to scientology. This would, at the very least, be quite annoying.
* There is a 100% chance that the turtle will die when you kill it.
* You could keep the turtle shell as a memento.
* Sam's terrarium will look quite empty without him.
* You could kill Sam in any manner that you choose.

Another tough one....however, any of my friends who would take that path is not a true friend at all...at least not of mines. He can go ahead.

Would you rather be a **** or have everyone think you're a ****?
* If you picked to be a ****, you could be discreet.
* Haha, I know, a discreet ****.
* If everyone thinks your a ****, why not have the fun and just become one.
* ****!

I'll go with being a ****....I'd rather not elaborate.

Would you rather get a paper cut or eat a placenta?
* Assume that the placenta is cooked and entirely safe to eat.
* The papercut is severe enough to make you curse out loud.
* The placenta is not yours and is not related to you.
* The placenta might be gross to eat.
* Nobody likes paper cuts, except maybe emos and they don't count.

I like to bleed.

Would you rather have a dozen kids or be infertile?
* One or the other, and they can't be adopted or stolen.
* The 12 kids will all be born in 15 years.
* 12 could make you go ****ing bat **** crazy.
* No kids could make you sad and want to off yourself or the diners at the local Golden Corral.

I'm down for 12 kids...I will never be a father, thank god, but for the question....if I did have 12 kids, they would all be trained to kill.

Not even joking.

Would you rather dissect a human corpse or go skydiving?
* Your scared of heights and a very downsy looking person packed your chute
* The corpse is a family member you like and you are not Bones, so this will haunt you forever and you will take no enjoyment in it.

Skydiving, only because in this question, I'm afraid of heights.

Would you rather milk a cow or have your nipple bitten by an animal?
* Milking a cow could be udderly disgusting.
* Having your nipple bitten would hurt.
* What kind of animal would bite my nipple? How the hell should I know.
* It might be embarrassing to show your bitten nipple to a doctor.
* The cow might bite your nipple when you try and milk her.
* The cow will hit you in the back of the head with her **** crusted tail.

Milk the cow...it could bite my nipple, or it could not....I don't like being bitten...unless its---yeah.

Would you rather lose an eye in a fireworks accident or get mauled by an animal and end up with a Michael Jackson nose?
* Michael Jackson's nose? Yes, his nose (or lack thereof). Assume that it comes with none of his other oddities (paleness/cleft chin/singing talents/high pitched voice/predilection for sleeping with children).
* What kind of animal? One capable of mauling you.
* If you only have one functioning eye at present, you would end up blind.
* Assume that your breathing would not be negatively affected by a MJ nose.

Tough...MJ Nose...we're all losing our looks eventually anyway.

Would you rather eat a bowl of cereal or have a jetski?
* Assume that the cereal/jetski is of average quality and brand.
* Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
* A jetski is worth a lot more than a bowl of cereal.
* You might win a prize with this bowl of cereal.
* Jetskis claim many lives per year.
* Similarly, people have been known to choke on cereal.

I would rather own a jetski all my life, than miss out on that because I chose to eat one bowl of cereal.

Would you rather have a perpetual George Hamilton tan or skip the age of 33?
* Skip 33? Yes. You would go from 32 to 34 on your birthday. If you are already over 33, then you automatically become a year older (33 is retroactively skipped).
* You might freak people out if you were always kind of orange looking.
* If you were already pretty tan (albeit orange), it would be hard to get sun burn.
* Skipping 33 puts you that much closer to 40. And 50. And the grave.
* Assume that you would suffer no ill effects from skipping a year, although your body would age 365 days.

Skip a year...why would you want to be orange? Time is flying anyway and you wouldn't notice 33 anyway.

Would you rather always be hungry or always be fat?
* Assume that you are not always hungry if you choose 'always be fat'.
* Assume that 'fat' means fatter than you are now, fatty.
* If you were hungry you could eat, but that wouldn't satisfy the hunger.
* Always being hungry could lead to being fat.
* Being fat could lead to being depressed and more eating, which might land you on TLC or some such channel.

Be hungy all the time...I have other hungers that can be satisfied.
 
How does it feel to be asked odd esoteric questions instead of asking them?
 
In the 24 hr Fan Fic thread, did you read the submissions before voting? If you did, would care to give me a critique of entry #3?
 
How does it feel to be asked odd esoteric questions instead of asking them?
Hadn't really noticed...feels like normal posting right now though...normal as in, I'm clicking reply to respond to this or that...another round of long questions and then my answer will change.
 
In the 24 hr Fan Fic thread, did you read the submissions before voting? If you did, would care to give me a critique of entry #3?
Honestly no...I answered the call of one of the posters and voted for them without reading any of the entries. I usually don't get involved in those things, except just to do what they ask me to...and get it over with.

However, as a writer...I did like the very first part of part 3 overall...seemed refined....and yes, I know I said I didn't read them, but that was before your question.

I don't think I'm going to have another answer this long.
 
So, Mr. The Spawn.... if that is your real name.... If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, how much does Lindsay Lohan weigh?
 
So, Mr. The Spawn.... if that is your real name.... If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, how much does Lindsay Lohan weigh?
Super skinny.
 
Hm. You came up with that answer real fast..... you got an alibi? Huh? Where were you the night that the movie Brazil came out? God help you if you say the premiere....
 
Hm. You came up with that answer real fast..... you got an alibi? Huh? Where were you the night that the movie Brazil came out? God help you if you say the premiere...
Dec 18th, 1985? Damn...not at the premiere, trust me...probably jogging. Speaking of which, I must meditate...I'll reply to some more of these in a few hours.

And I lied, I was jogging to the premiere.
 
Speaking of Spain. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was Chuck Norris? A woodchuck of the non-Chuck Norris variety? A woodchuck with no legs? A Chuck Norris woodchuck without legs? You with no legs, how much wood chucking could you do? Could you jog with no legs? Even on your hands? What if you learned to fly... sans legs? Would you just learn to hover in such a way it looks as if you are jogging? How was jogging created? You think a guy just said, "I'm going for a run... but I want to take longer." You think that happened? What about that dude that made speedwalking.... you think he was a t--t? Or a twit? A man with too much time on his hands? A dolphin who wanted to take over the world? Speaking of Orcas... you like that movie? Think Orca vs Jaws would be a good movie to give new life to both franchises? What were we talking about? Hm... is that enough questions? How long do I have to wait for you to answer them all? Are you jewish? No, that has nothing to do with answering questions, does it have to? Did you hear that? Where was I?
 
You've broken me out of retirement...

1. Do you still trade your screen-name? Or not?

2. When will the day come when TheSpawn hangs up his mantle?

3. Does Spawn miss Hype of yesteryears?
 
How many batarangs can you take to the face?

How many hours a day do you spend on prep time maintenance?

If you could take one hypester's soul, whose would it be?
 
Speaking of Spain. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was Chuck Norris? A woodchuck of the non-Chuck Norris variety? A woodchuck with no legs? A Chuck Norris woodchuck without legs? You with no legs, how much wood chucking could you do? Could you jog with no legs? Even on your hands? What if you learned to fly... sans legs? Would you just learn to hover in such a way it looks as if you are jogging? How was jogging created? You think a guy just said, "I'm going for a run... but I want to take longer." You think that happened? What about that dude that made speedwalking.... you think he was a t--t? Or a twit? A man with too much time on his hands? A dolphin who wanted to take over the world? Speaking of Orcas... you like that movie? Think Orca vs Jaws would be a good movie to give new life to both franchises? What were we talking about? Hm... is that enough questions? How long do I have to wait for you to answer them all? Are you jewish? No, that has nothing to do with answering questions, does it have to? Did you hear that? Where was I?



Not much. More energy is directed to chucking since there are no legs to energize. All the wood. All the wood.Yes. Yes. I would stay inside. Once again, I wouldn't go outside. Fear. Not at all. I think he was in a hurry. Naw, dolphins are smart though. Never seen that movie. I don't know. I don't know. Yes, it is enough. Ten hours. Not jewish at all. Not at all either. Hear what? And I'm not sure.
 
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You've broken me out of retirement...

1. Do you still trade your screen-name? Or not?
At this time no...basically, I'm not even on here that much to warrant watching someone else use it anymore.

2. When will the day come when TheSpawn hangs up his mantle?
When all the cool people are gone, every last one of them...for instance, you're still on here....so I am still on here.

3. Does Spawn miss Hype of yesteryears?
Yeah...its like watching the new generation bask in the glory of what they think is time at its best.

But they're wrong.

And tainted.

Our time was when time was at its best.

How many batarangs can you take to the face?
How many are thrown? That's the answer.

How many hours a day do you spend on prep time maintenance?
I usually spend more time on prepping for prep time maintenance.

If you could take one hypester's soul, whose would it be?

Mirkos.
 
Do you still do Gamefaq Polls of the Day Threads?

Also what is the connection with Gamefaqs, I know they do polls, but is that it?

What happen to the age of posters adopting personas?
 
Do you still do Gamefaq Polls of the Day Threads?
Haven't in a while, they'll be back soon though.

Also what is the connection with Gamefaqs, I know they do polls, but is that it?
They're also a forum....waaaay bigger and better than this one.

What happen to the age of posters adopting personas?
Posters began taking the internet too seriously, lol
 
Have you ever been called Hamburger Face?

What happen to the age of posters adopting personas?
Posters began taking the internet too seriously, lol

You know, this is true! I had a user tell me to sort of get real in that Bill Gates releases mosquitoes thread awhile back when all I did was lightheartedly link to a scene of Godzilla defeating Megaguiras in Godzilla x Megaguiras "pretending" to be my user ID in regards to handling that insect threat. I mean people need to just lighten up in here already! The Hype isn't half as fun as it was several years ago because people are taking this forum way too seriously.
 
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Have you ever been called Hamburger Face?
To my face? No way. Behind my back? No way in hell.



You know, this is true! I had a user tell me to sort of get real in that Bill Gates releases mosquitoes thread awhile back when all I did was lightheartedly link to a scene of Godzilla defeating Megaguiras in Godzilla x Megaguiras "pretending" to be my user ID in regards to handling that insect threat. I mean people need to just lighten up in here already! The Hype isn't half as fun as it was several years ago because people are taking this forum way too seriously.
Yeah, years ago everyone in the thread would have seen where you were coming from with that...but now, they're just...whats the word? Prudish?
 
Have you ever danced with the devil while dancing with another girl?

Have you ever taken pictures of yourself and sent them to underage girls in hopes of boosting your self esteem and then realizing that you accidentally sent them to your aunt?

Why are you so stuck up?

Why are you standoffish?

Have you ever been beaten up? Describe.
 

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