Do you believe in karma?
Actually my friend posted something about Karma on her facebook I quite liked:
Karma is not something you can call upon to serve justice when you feel hard done by. Karma only exists because we are all part of the same thing. If you do wrong to someone else, you are doing wrong to us. If you show kindness to someone, that is for everyone. Individual ego (sense of self) is an illusion. There is no you, no me. There is only "us".
I think I understand it in that sense.
And in a general logical way, it's fair to say people will get their just desserts, because something bad is bound to happen to them down the line... and then you can point and say 'haha, serves you right'
What would you do if you had one day left to live?
Well for one thing, I wouldn't tell anyone.
If I had any money whatsoever, i'd tell all my friends i'd won some money on a scatch card and that I wanted to treat them all to a day out. Then i'd spend it doing something fun but simple like going to a theme park.
My last few hours I'd spend with my mum, just being affectionate. Stroking her hair, remembering the way she smelled. Asking her silly questions like I did when I was a kid like 'Why is the sky blue?' and just soaking in the sound of her voice.
Does that sound a bit soppy?
Hi my name is (hopefulsuicide
), you might remember me on SHH for such things/threads as?
Should this Superman Kill?
Atheism - Love it or leave it?
How often do you drink?
What is your biggest regret and if you could relive that moment what would you have done differently?
Most of the time I'm not a believer in regrets, because everything makes you who you are, and I like who I am.
But I very much regretted moving in with a friend of mine, her female partner and her two kids, two dogs and four cats. Or at least I regret staying there for a year.
That was just one of the most stressful years of my life. I never had any privacy, I felt guilty coming in late, I felt obliged to be sociable and ended up getting too involved in the family really.
Have been in my own place for about a month now... and my god I can feel all the tension lifting from my shoulders
Tell the story of your first love, not necessarily your greatest love.
My first and ONLY real love (I don't count my teen 'loves' because they weren't reciprocated and I was just a kid crushing really), was the guy I lost my virginity too.
I was 18. I'd met him a few times before, he was a friend of a friend. And it turned out we shared the same birthday. So I had a few people round to hang out in my garden in the day, and we made it a joint birthday. We ended up going out to my local pub and getting tipsy - doing stupid things like tying each others arms together and attempting to play pool
His friend came up to me a little later and told me that he liked me and wanted to ask me out. I had no idea how to respond... I didn't particularly fancy him, but he was fun and i'd been enjoying the night and I was going to univeristy in 3 weeks and so was he- so I had an immediate out. So I thought I might as well have a fun 3 weeks with the guy. Turns out 3 weeks was all it took for us to fall in love.
Obviously, the whole uni long distance thing didn't go well. We cryed on our goodbyes and tried to stay together, but it was hard. Eventually he gave up uni and got a job back home, but I stuck it out. I couldn't stop thinking about him though.
We'd end up hooking up and getting back together every time I came down to visit, and i'd basically made my mind up that this was the guy I was going to loose my virginity too. He didn't want me to loose it to him because he wasn't my boyfriend and he knew how important it was too me (ah teenage mentality
).
Eventually we got back together after two years of on and off. We had sex and I was on top of the moon. I was his 'proper' girlfriend. He took me to his work parties and showed me off, and I stayed at his place a lot. But we weren't having a lot of sex, and every time I mentioned anything, he'd get agitated. He started getting drunk all the time and using it as an excuse for why he couldn't have sex. Then he decided to move back in with his mum, and suddenly his mum didn't want him having girls over to stay so I wasn't even allowed to sleep in the same bed as him...
... I'd had enough by then. He'd started spending a lot of time with his friends and with another girl... and one night where he left me waiting on my own in a bar for him for 3 hours and then strolled in drunk with this girl and his friends - I dumped him.
It was about 2 weeks later when I found out what was really going on.
He'd cheated on me. With men. Three times, three different men.
One of whom was one of my 'besties' and who admitted it all in floods of tears, and told me how they'd done it in his bed 2 weeks before I lost my virginity to him.
I tried to confront him about it, and he ignored me. Hung up the phone, cut me off completely. I did not even seen the guy again for about 6 months, and so I had no outlet for my pain or anger.
And I was so angry. I have never been that angry, I really really hated him.
I've forgiven him since. He became a recluse as soon as everyone found out, and I couldn't say no to his pathetic apology one night a few years later... because I could see how pathetic his life had become because of his inability to be honset with himself.
But honestly, I've never loved a man since (i've had relationships, don't get me wrong, but never loved any of them) And it's been 5 years...
Whats your biggest geek collectible?
I don't think I have anything really collectible. I have my comics, but even the oldest ones aren't rare.
I used to collect beanie babies! But I gave all of them to a friend of mine who was even more geeky about them than me.
If you were a celebrity, what would you demand in your dressing room?
3 people - 1 to just constantly tell me how fabulous I am, 1 to rub the tension out of my shoulders, and 1 to be ready to get me anything I felt like at a moments notice.
What was your first?
Tape/CD - First tape was 'Michael Jackson - Bad', first CD was 'Sum 41 - All Killer, No Filler'
DVD/Blu-Ray - ohhh that's a hard one... I think it might have been Spiderman
Automobile - First one I remember my mum driving me around in was a Fiat Panda
Video Game - Rayman for the PS1
How did you find out about the birds and the bees?
I don't remember specifically, feels like i've always known... never been the kind of kid who thought babies came from storks or anything... I think my mum was just pretty honest about it all!
Who has been your biggest influence and why?
In real life, my Mum.
She's just an incredibly strong, independant, intense kind of person, but she also really affectionate and kind and generous of her time and effort. I like to think i'm a lot like her
In fiction - Lois Lane and Superman. If you combined the two personalities, you'd have me. I've got the slightly 'outsider' persona, bit of a hero complex of my own, polite, easy going and easy to get on with sides of CK/Supes... but i've got the neurotic, arguementative, stubborn, passionate, sharp and sarcastic side of Lois Lane.
Where is your next vacation spot?
Going to Bulgaria next year for clubbing with the uni girls
If you moved tomorrow, outside of family or friends, etc. what would you miss most about the place you were living?
I've been waiting a long time to move now. I just wanna move to the nearest city, because there is no career opportunities here. Hopefully I will be moving at the beginning of next year.
But what will I miss?
I'll miss being able to go out for a drink and not worry about who i'm meeting because i'll always run into someone I can chat too, even if it's just the bar person. I'll miss walking down the street and having to wave a few times at people I know.
And i'll miss the countryside. I live right by the sea, by the woods, by hills and rivers, by windy paths and crumbling old buildings. I've grown up around all creatures great and small, waking up to the sound of birds singing and being able to go sledding every time it snows.
It's pretty cool
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- I probably use this the most 
