[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]FIYA[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] NBA Rankings #8[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Rank[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Team[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]FIYA[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Analysis[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Pistons
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
They lost a game and then went back to the lockerroom and laughed for an hour about how good they are. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]2[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Spurs
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
When asked why he refuses to start Manu Ginobli, Coach Popovich admitted, "Well, because he has the best skin on the team and I'm jealous."[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]3[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Mavs
[/FONT]
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There's nothing anyone can say to convince me that The Dirtbag Boys (Josh Howard and Marquis Daniels) don't have weed parties monthly. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]4[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Grizzlies
[/FONT]
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All jokes aside, this team plays the right way
because they aren't coached by Larry ****ing Brown. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]5[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Suns
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Steve Nash throws more alley-oops than I did on NBA Live '98 (aka the last good Live game EA put out). Yeah, Steve's incredible. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]6[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Heat
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
They had their chance to make a statement against the Pistons and they choked like Greg Norman eating a toasted PB&J on the back nine at Augusta.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]7[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Cavs
[/FONT]
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LeBron celebrated his 21st birthday by looking 15 years older than he actually is (Sorry, but that dude got Otis Nixon's disease). [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]8[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Nets
[/FONT]
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Anyone who still can't admit that Vince Carter is the best dunker of all-time needs to take that cheese out their eyes and stop ignoring Juanita when she tells their cheesy ass to take out the trash. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]9[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bucks
[/FONT]
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Toni Kukoc was born in 1968. Ervin Johnson was born in 1967. These men are old. Why are they still playing? Why not just bring back Robert Parrish? I don't like watching people who were alive when Jimi Hendrix was alive. It's eerie. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]10[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Pacers
[/FONT]
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With Ron Artest no longer standing in the way, one has to wonder why Steal O' The Draft, Danny Granger hasn't stepped up for the Pacers. Oh, I know. Because he some bull****. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]11[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Warriors
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Does Adonal Foyle have kids? I sincerely hope not. His ugly genes would dominate any beautiful woman's genes you could name. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]12[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Clippers
[/FONT]
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Elton's MVP chances are fading away as sadly as Ray Allen's hairline did. And everyone pretended to not notice that, too. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]13[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]T-Wolves
[/FONT]
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I would pay to see the looks Spree's relatives give him these days. That's gotta be some uncut comedy right there. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]14[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]76ers
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Allen Iverson is dedicating this season to Dan Marino. In past years, he's dedicated seasons to Ernie Banks, Barry Sanders, Ted Williams and Michelle Kwan. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]15[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Lakers
[/FONT]
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Asked to comment on his two-game suspension, a smirking Kobe stated: "I respect the League's ruling, but I still think it's little unfair. I mean, it's not like a raped someone." Then, he got in his Benz and drove away laughing like a meglomaniac who had James Bond in a deathtrap. I still don't know why people hate him.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]16[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Magic
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
For all the kids out there who never saw G. Hill's first step in his prime, let me put it this way: The ***** used to get the ball, stand there and freeze his man, then he'd take off like Chevy Chase on that sled in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]17[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Nuggets
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Steve Deberg's pinky to Marcus Camby's pinky: "You're a ****ing *****, dude."[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]18[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Jazz
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Contrary to media reports, Boozer did not return last week. So, I checked his AIM message.
BoozGotPaid: HAHAHA. Sike! Nah, but seriously, I hate it here. (What a *****)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]19[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Sonics
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Asked if he feels any pressure to uphold his father's legacy, Damien Wilkins stopped laughing long enough to say, "My father? He wasn't ****. What the **** you talking about, man
hahahahahaha
'The **** you been smoking, dude?" [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]20[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bulls
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
The Bulls paid 60 mill to an overrated big man with a bad heart after all. Funny how that worked out. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]21[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Wizards
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Etan Thomas expressed his feelings about the season with the following Haiku:
Damn, fans. We Sorry. Lots of Offense, No defense. I'm still rich though, fans. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]22[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Rockets
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
LMAO
Yao laughing. Yeah, Yao!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Let them *****es suffer. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]23[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hornets
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Bostjan Nachbar, Maciej Lampe and Arvydas Macijauskas do not even form a player as good as Kwame Brown. That is a fact. These Euro scrubs are the reason guys like Louis Bullock, Casey Sanders, Jason Capel, Toby Bailey, and Lester Earl do not cash NBA paychecks. And more of them are drafted each year. That is some bull****. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]24[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Celtics
[/FONT]
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If Paul Pierce tells anyone that he wants to finish his career in Boston, he should be stabbed. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]25[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Kings
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
When you consider that Bonzi is good for at least 15 losses and Shareef is good for 20, doesn't the disappointment of the Kings' season make perfect sense. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]26[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Blazers
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Am I the only one who notices that Zach Randolph looks like Mongo off Heathcliff?[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]27[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bobcats
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Asked to comment on Emeka Okafor's latest injury, an irate Bernie Bickerstaff replied, "**** you! And **** Dwight Howard! There you go. That's my comment. Happy? Print that. Bye." [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]28[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hawks
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
If Salim has more than 200 assists this year, I'll gladly staple my balls together. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]29[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Knicks
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Captain's Log: StarDate 6871.3: We have just passed through a severe magnetic storm. Three of our crewman are dead and LARRY BROWN STILL HASN'T SET HIS ****ING STARTING LINEUP!!!! GODDAMN!!! KAAAAAAAAHN!!!![/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]30[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Raptors
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Ugliest frontcourt ever? Hmmm. Wait, did the Wizards have Michael Ruffin and Popeye Jones at the same time? [/FONT]