[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]FIYA NBA Rankings #9[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Rank[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Team[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]FIYA Analysis[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Pistons
[/FONT]
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Is there an official clock counting down the time until everyone can call Darko a bust? If so, someone needs to fix it, because it runs a little too fast on black high schoolers and a bit too slow on Euros. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]2[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Spurs
[/FONT]
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Does anyone else laugh at that dumb ass "Is it June, yet?" look on Robert Horry's face? Dude absolutely loafs until playoff time. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]3[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Mavs
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Dirk continues to have the best and most pointless regular seasons of any white player since John Stockton. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]4[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Suns
[/FONT]
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but Nash is gaining on him. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]5[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Grizzlies
[/FONT]
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Further attempting to shed his "soft" label, Pau Gasol has now memorized N.W.A.'s entire catalogue, in addition to wearing Stop Snitchin' t-shirts and skullcaps. Despite it all, he still flinches at the sight of Bobby Jackson eating spare ribs. It's just too gully for him. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]6[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Cavs
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If New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin put on Drew Gooden's jersey and replaced him in the lineup, would anyone really notice? [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]7[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Nets
[/FONT]
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The only dunk left for Vince to do is taking lil' TJ Kidd's head and slamming it on a 12 foot court. I've seen everything else. Step it up, Vince. Dunk TJ's head. I bet you can't. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]8[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Heat
[/FONT]
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Without the help of Dwayne Wade, Shaq dropped a whopping 8 pounds in a loss to the Suns. That's a good sign for the Heat. Wait a second
that's points?...WHAT THE?!?!?! Let's just move on... [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]9[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Pacers
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Larry "Bad Dad" Bird really thinks he's going to get a sweet deal for Ron Artest. Newsflash, ChickenLips: He's ****ing crazy and everyone knows it. Take the role player and the first rounder that everyone is offering and stop wasting our time. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]10[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Clippers
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Shaun Livingston looks more and more like the tall ass kid in a 16 and under rec league that's just so much better than everyone else. But, this is the NBA and he just looks frail out there. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]11[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Lakers
[/FONT]
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48 and 50. To all the people who say I favor Kobe, I'd just like to say "Two wins. 48 and 50." [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]12[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Jazz
[/FONT]
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Utah is in first place in the Northwest division, despite Carlos Boozer's repeated attempts to sabotage their success and his future life in a state filled with racist Mormons. Can you really blame him? [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]13[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Warriors
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As soon as Mike Dunleavy starts playing like he got some damn sense, Baron starts playing like ass. What does that tell us? I think it's obvious. Baron Davis hates white people. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]14[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bucks
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Reese Gaines leads the Buck in FG%. Ain't that some ****? [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]15[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]76ers
[/FONT]
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Chris Webber is quietly having a 20 and 10 season. That should put to rest any doubt that Iverson can play with other good players
and lose. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]16[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Nuggets
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Carmelo can score all he wants, but until Camby's pinky gets back, they ain't winning. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]17[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]T-Wolves
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After answering a call and hearing Tim Duncan on the other end, KG asked, "How your ***** ass get my number?" Duncan responded, "I dunno, man. I just have it." And they both starting laughing like the Smothers Brothers. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]18[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hornets
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They better be glad they won some games before Chris Paul got hurt. The losing starts now. [/FONT]
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19[/FONT]
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Bulls
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Ben Gordon successfully pouted his way into the starting lineup and the Bulls won two in a row. I say it over and over, people
crying helps. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]20[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Magic
[/FONT]
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Jameer, despite looking like a goomba from Super Mario brothers, is slowly but surely making Steve Francis look expendable. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]21[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Sonics
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Bob Hill cut Mateen Cleaves. That dirty mother****er! What The 'Teen ever do to him? The 'Teen brings joy to all benches. So what if he misses layups and 10 footers. He makes people smile. He's The 'Teen. He needs a sitcom. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]22[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Wizards
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Gilbert Arenas continues his chase Bernard King's franchise record of "Who gives a ****?" points in a season. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]23[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Kings
[/FONT]
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Mike Bibby is so distraught with all the losing that he called his estraged father Henry, who said "Is this about a job, Micheal? No?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]24[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Celtics
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T-Mac II AKA Gerald Green was demoted to the NBDL last week after stupid ass Danny Ainge realized he's missing a ****ing finger and he will never be as good as T-Mac. Whatchu' think of Isiah passing on him now, Spike? "He did the right thing, Money"--Spike. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]25[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Rockets
[/FONT]
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When asked how close he is to returning to action, Yao said through his interpreter, "When I'm done laughing."[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]26[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Knicks
[/FONT]
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Don't start popping bottles yet, Knick fans. Larry Brown probably wants to lose a few more games, so he can take all the credit for teaching those young players how to win. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]27[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Raptors
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Chuck V raised some eyebrows with two nice games last week. None of the eyebrows belonged to him, but still
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]28[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Blazers
[/FONT]
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Where in the world is Darius Miles? [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]29[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bobcats
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After watching Dwight Howard drop 19 and 12 on his team, Bernie Bickerstaff held his post-game press conference with a flame thrower strapped on his back and a look a desperation and hatred in his eyes. After not being asked any questions, he wished all the reporters a safe trip home. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]30[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hawks
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I wonder if Josh Smith is going to defend his slam dunk title. He ain't got **** else to do. [/FONT]