PhotoJones
Avenger
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- Mar 4, 2005
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So, yesterday I was at the flea market that I go to on occasion, looking for back issues. There's a dealer there who's got an account with Diamond, so he's got new stuff coming in, but he also has an endless supply of just about every back issue of just about every book that Marvel or DC have ever published, and he sells them all for either cover price or below. It's pretty great.
Anyway, while I was looking through a long box of Uncanny X-Men issues, this dude walks in with two of his friends, one I'm assuming, is his girlfriend. He starts looking through one of the Hulk long boxes and begins to give his opinions about comics in general. And my, what opinions he has.
- "Yeah, I'm jus' 'bout the biggest Hulk fan there ever wuz. You know that Chinese piece of **** what directed that Hulk movie a couple years back? Yeah, he's a Chinese piece of ****. They need to get an Uh-merican to make movies of the Hulk. He's a national icon, the Hulk."
- "Oh, lookie here. Here's the newest Captain Uh-merica. Brubaker writes this ****. Marvel oughtta be ashamed of themselves, letting this f****t turn Captain Uh-merica into some communist f****t. That's why I read them other Ultimate books. They got the real Captain Uh-merica in there; kickin' ass and takin' names, you know what I'm sayin'?"
- "Check this out, it's the new Silver Surfer book. "In Thy Name." I like that. Sounds like the Bible, you know? This one's got art by Michael Turner*. I love that guy. He draws the best ****in' Silver Surfer ever."
- "You ever read that Ghost Rider? I love that guy. They never say it, but he's workin' for God, takin' out all them demons. He's jus' an honest Christian man like myself, that the Devil done made ugly. But he killed the Devil and now he's lookin' to clean up all them leftover demons. That's what this book is about."
It took every bit of will power in me not to turn to him and correct his every incorrect statement or baseless opinion. Is this the average comic book fan, or is this the average American? I can't decide. I think it's both. I finally got so fed up, I left to go to the record dealer to kill some time before it was safe to go back.
* It doesn't.
Anyway, while I was looking through a long box of Uncanny X-Men issues, this dude walks in with two of his friends, one I'm assuming, is his girlfriend. He starts looking through one of the Hulk long boxes and begins to give his opinions about comics in general. And my, what opinions he has.
- "Yeah, I'm jus' 'bout the biggest Hulk fan there ever wuz. You know that Chinese piece of **** what directed that Hulk movie a couple years back? Yeah, he's a Chinese piece of ****. They need to get an Uh-merican to make movies of the Hulk. He's a national icon, the Hulk."
- "Oh, lookie here. Here's the newest Captain Uh-merica. Brubaker writes this ****. Marvel oughtta be ashamed of themselves, letting this f****t turn Captain Uh-merica into some communist f****t. That's why I read them other Ultimate books. They got the real Captain Uh-merica in there; kickin' ass and takin' names, you know what I'm sayin'?"
- "Check this out, it's the new Silver Surfer book. "In Thy Name." I like that. Sounds like the Bible, you know? This one's got art by Michael Turner*. I love that guy. He draws the best ****in' Silver Surfer ever."
- "You ever read that Ghost Rider? I love that guy. They never say it, but he's workin' for God, takin' out all them demons. He's jus' an honest Christian man like myself, that the Devil done made ugly. But he killed the Devil and now he's lookin' to clean up all them leftover demons. That's what this book is about."
It took every bit of will power in me not to turn to him and correct his every incorrect statement or baseless opinion. Is this the average comic book fan, or is this the average American? I can't decide. I think it's both. I finally got so fed up, I left to go to the record dealer to kill some time before it was safe to go back.
* It doesn't.