All Star Cast for 'Valentine's Day'

[DarknessOfDeath]

Cool. I enjoyed him and Garner in The Kingdom. Kickass!! yeah!

 

[Dr. Evil]

Spoiler

I kind of feel bad for George Lopez in this movie. It looks like he doesn't get to hook up with anybody....unless it's Queen Latifah.

 

[SuperBatman]

Suprised there is not much talk going on about this movie seeing that it comes out this weekend.

 

[TheComicbookKid]

It's sad that this terrible movie is going to make so much money just because it has the release date in its title.

 

[LastSunrise1981]

Probably going to watch it this weekend with some friends after we watch Wolfman. It looks like an actual pretty decent flick and I do like Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Jamie Foxx, and Kathy Bates.

 

[SuperBatman]

It's sad that this terrible movie is going to make so much money just because it has the release date in its title.

I don't see how you can say a movie is terrible without even seeing it. There was a screening at the theater I work at and the word coming out was pretty postive.

 

[danoyse]

I think it looks really cute.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Suprised there is not much talk going on about this movie seeing that it comes out this weekend.

Yeah, can't believe people on a comic book website aren't really excited for a romantic comedy. So weird.

 

[That-Guy]

LOL, I know it's AICN and those guys are obligated to hate this type of movie, but you've GOT to read this review:

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/43973

Capone says VALENTINE'S DAY sucked out his heart and trampled it bloody in the dirt!!!

Hey, everyone. Capone in Chicago here.

Sometimes, I see a film that reminds me what my job really is. Yes, the primary function I (and many critics) have assigned myself is to steer you in the direction of great films, some you may have heard of and hopefully a few that you haven't. Discovery is one of the truest thrills I get, and passing on great discoveries is so much fun. But this is only half the job; the other half is protecting you. I'll step in front of a bullet or a knife or a Chinese throwing star or a warrior's spear; sure, things will get messy, but I'll get back up, wipe off the blood, throw a Band-Aid on my wounds, and prepare for the next assault. But tonight, I've seen a movie that may have actually killed a huge portion of my soul. In its lame and obvious attempts to teach me about the true meaning of love, it may have introduced a level of hate into my life that may change me to my core. I'm talking about the type of hate that makes you angry enough to kill baby ducks with a shotgun or smother infants in their sleep. Please, allow me to welcome you to the shameless world of VALENTINE'S DAY, directed by Garry Marshall, who hasn't made an even partially worthy film in 20 years (yes, PRETTY WOMAN came out in 1990).

There have been a lot of films lately about the end of civilization, but none of them hold a candle to the shallow, emotionally barren wasteland laid out before us in VALENTINE'S DAY, a film in which dozens of Los Angelinos find love, lose love, and find love again (in most cases) all of the span of about 18 hours. Every joke is told as if Marshall is holding a spotlight right on it just on the off chance you might not catch the humor, because Garry Marshall is, if nothing else, about as subtle as a sack of doorknobs being smashed across your skull. You can almost hear the director behind the camera uttering "Get it?" after each clever pun or earth-shattering PG-13 innuendo. Where's that baby duck, and what did I do with my 12 gauge?

Where to begin dissecting this nightmare...I think I'll start with the all-star cast, who are all doing their darndest to impersonate people with depth and souls. But that's near impossible to do with a script (from Katherine Fugate) that is essentially a collection of fortune-cookie philosophies on relationships strung together and connected in ways that don't actually amount to anything. I know that interwoven plot threads and interconnected characters are all the rage these days, but those connections have to mean something and have a purpose.

Without ruining the desperately clever twists and turns of VALENTINE'S DAY, there are two characters I want to focus on, because their time together could have actually amounted to something beyond a pair of ridiculous revelations in the film's final moments. Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper are strangers sitting next to each other on a plane. She's a soldier (still in camouflage) returning home for one day's leave from an unnamed war; he's wearing a nice suit and doesn't seem to mind when she falls asleep on his shoulder. Every so often, the film returns to them as they attempt to figure out what the other one has going on. He assumes that she is returning home on Valentine's Day to visit a special fella; she's got him pegged as a considerate but serious guy with no connections back home. It's not the greatest story ever told, but at least I was curious and mildly invested in what happens to these two. In the movie's parting music montage, we learn exactly who both of them are really going home to see. They aren't connected in any way, and the revelation is without any meaning beyond tying their pleasant, mediocre story thread into the rest of the **** that passes for forward motion in this movie.

Let me put this to you another way. Think for a minute about all of those terrible romantic comedies that come out every year (several of which were also directed by Garry Marshall); then imagine all of those miserable couples collected in one movie, each with their own slapstick humor moment, quirky best friend, overly scripted declaration of love (usually in a very public setting). Many of the actresses that have appeared in those craptastic films are represented here--Jessicas Alba and Biel, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Roberts, and I'll even throw in singer Taylor Swift (in her feature debut), who it seems is being bred to make these kinds of horrible movies. Hell, there are four Oscar winners and two nominees in the cast. It doesn't matter; they all suck in VALENTINE'S DAY. Consider this potentially awesome character description: Anne Hathaway as a phone sex operator. Ah, but it's PG-13 phone sex, so guess what? Even the prospect of Hathaway talking dirty is denied me. Oh the humanity.

And the men don't fare much better. Topher Grace, Taylor Lautner, Eric Dane, Jaime Foxx, Patrick Dempsey, and the list goes on. Is it weird that the best male performance in the movie is from Ashton Kutcher? Yes. Yes, it is. Here are some other names in the cast to chew on: Kathy Bates, Queen Latifah, Emma Roberts, Hector Elizondo, Shirley MacLaine, and the true stamp of quality, George Lopez. ****. Me. Seriously, if you pay money to see VALENTINE'S DAY, there might be a piece of your brain missing, the part that controls reason and logic. You might be a sociopath, and if you aren't, this movie will probably turn you into one. And if, after all of these warnings, you still go and like VALENTINE'S DAY, then I hate you. You are a person deserving of all the hate in the world, because you have blindly accepted that love stories in movies have to be spoon fed to you like so much uncomplicated gruel. Plus I heard this movie will give you cancer, so if you die soon after watching it, you have no one to blame but yourself. So there.

 

[Prison Mike]

so I guess the guy doesn't like the movie...

 

[Raiden]

so I guess the guy doesn't like the movie...

I think he probably secretly likes it.

 

[Primal Slayer]

It was an enjoyable movie. But Eric Dane and Bradley Cooper were such a waste! They shared 5 seconds together and their charecters didnt even get a payoff like the others did. You could tell they were included just so the mvoie could have a gay couple.

 

[Jake Cassidy]

so I guess the guy doesn't like the movie...

I think he probably secretly likes it.

Exactly. He's overcompensating. t:

 

[Mace Dolex]

I wonder how much of a paycut these movies that have a large ensemble of big stars get? well aside from Ashton Kutcher and George Lopez are aren't A-list but I wonder of someone like Julia Roberts.

 

[Bruce Malone]

I went with my girlfried to see this tonight and it was not as bad as I expected but then again i was dragged to see dear john a little while ago and that movie could make a will ferell movie look oscar worthy...i swear valentines day seems to start earlier every year.. sigh.

I wonder how much of a paycut these movies that have a large ensemble of big stars get? well aside from Ashton Kutcher and George Lopez are aren't A-list but I wonder of someone like Julia Roberts.

Pay cut my ass.

For Valentine’s Day, Julia Roberts Was Paid $500,000 a Minute ... All Six of Them

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2010/02/julia_roberts_valentines_day.html

 

[Mace Dolex]

^ so Julia got paid 3 million, wow I feel sorry for her.

 

[Primal Slayer]

3 mill for like a weeks tops worth of work. I hate my life.

 

[Mace Dolex]

The country is in economic shambles with lots of people getting laid off, state budgets and defecits and whatnot but it's ok to throw away tons of money to overpaid actors who live in a fantasy world.

 

[mclay18]

3 mill for like a weeks tops worth of work. I hate my life.

Plus, like 3% of the box-office gross. The director and Jamie Foxx are also gross participants. The rest of the cast were paid their usual quote, but only pro-rated to the days they worked (which were only a couple of days). And the film still came under $50M to make... still impressive despite Roberts' $3M payday.

 

[xwolverine2]

lol this movie is such a quick cash-in....

pos movie but it'll make a fortune cause its valentines day on..valentines day!

has 16% on RT lmao!

 

[Harry_Lime02]

Biel and Alba in the same movie? That's almost too much sexy.

 

[Mace Dolex]

And Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner are too much big mouths to take in.