Are the Two Witnesses already preaching?

[kainedamo]

I haven't been in the mood to watch it.
I just tried to watch it but it was too painful.
Sorry.
The guy's a ******?

Haha. His beliefs are similar to the guy that started this thread. I sent it to you because I thought, with your wide knowledge and understanding of the Christian religion, you could let me know if the stuff he was raving on about being "fact" are actually facts, or if he's got his prophecies all mixed up.

 

[ampersand]

Still... not everyone loves him... so that means whatshisface's theory is still wrong...

Yeah that was kinda the idea I was trying to get across. Captain Crazy wouldn't be able to pick him out.

 

[JStorm]

Blasphemy.

 

[VanillaLando]

Then... you admit Christianity lied to you? Because I could swear that, in one of the few doom and gloom sermons I ever attended in my life, the pastor said that the anti-Christ would rise without anyone ever suspecting he or she as the culprit. And that once the anti-Christ revealed himself, it would be too late...

The anti-christ doesn't care if I know who he is, I'm a stupid and ineffectual nobody, REMEMBER! And since I make up 0.0000000000001% of the population, or less, I guess you can still say that no one knows.

 

[The Senator]

So, if I said Jesus was a child molester, I guess that means anyone who disagrees with me is just blind? I mean, the evidence is there-- he was 33, never had a girlfriend, and he died a virgin. Maybe he harbored hidden thoughts for little children?






(jmanspice does not endorse the idea that Jesus is a child molester)

 

[kainedamo]

VanillaLando, break it down into logical pieces...

Why do you believe Obama is the anti-christ?

If all you got is "he's called Hussein, his father was Muslim", then you have no argument and you just look foolish.

 

[JStorm]

So, if I said Jesus was a child molester, I guess that means anyone who disagrees with me is just blind? I mean, the evidence is there-- he was 33, never had a girlfriend, and he died a virgin. Maybe he harbored hidden thoughts for little children?

Wow.

I had to read it two times. It is a stretch - but a decent analogy for this situation.

 

[jaguarr]

So, if I said Jesus was a child molester, I guess that means anyone who disagrees with me is just blind? I mean, the evidence is there-- he was 33, never had a girlfriend, and he died a virgin. Maybe he harbored hidden thoughts for little children?






(jmanspice does not endorse the idea that Jesus is a child molester)

Your criteria also fits that of a closeted, frustrated gay guy. Just saying.*


*jaguarr does not endorse the idea that Jesus was gay...married his mother, possibly as has been theorized, but not gay...


jag

 

[VanillaLando]

Misconstrued? Could you elaborate? How could a man with no ties to the Middle East be a secret Muslim terrorist plotting to overthrow mankind?

He probably doesn't know he's the anti-christ. How could he? No one with intentions of being the anti-christ would be allowed to rise to power. His mother would have tanned his hide if those were his intentions.

Even the anti-christ is just a pawn in life's little game.

 

[The Senator]

The anti-christ doesn't care if I know who he is, I'm a stupid and ineffectual nobody, REMEMBER! And since I make up 0.0000000000001% of the population, or less, I guess you can still say that no one knows.

No, you can't.

Because if no one knows, then that means zero human beings ever suspected it.

If that wasn't the case, then why didn't the Bible say that "only a few people of the really, really big population of earth will suspect so and so of being the anti-Christ"?

So, I rest my case-- you suspected him, people dislike Obama, Obama's not of any Middle Eastern heritage-- therefore, he's not a Muslim terrorist anti-Christ warlord...

 

[VanillaLando]

So, if I said Jesus was a child molester, I guess that means anyone who disagrees with me is just blind? I mean, the evidence is there-- he was 33, never had a girlfriend, and he died a virgin. Maybe he harbored hidden thoughts for little children?






(jmanspice does not endorse the idea that Jesus is a child molester)

The 33 Year-Old Virgin?

 

[VanillaLando]

No, you can't.

Because if no one knows, then that means zero human beings ever suspected it.

If that wasn't the case, then why didn't the Bible say that "only a few people of the really, really big population of earth will suspect so and so of being the anti-Christ"?

So, I rest my case-- you suspected him, people dislike Obama, Obama's not of any Middle Eastern heritage-- therefore, he's not a Muslim terrorist anti-Christ warlord...

I am zero. They probably didn't have decimal points in those times so in relation to them I AM ZERO. There could be millions of people who see Barrack as the anti-christ and if one does not recognize decimal points they would still equate to ZERO.

Who said the anti-christ was a terrorist?

 

[The Senator]

The 33 Year-Old Virgin?

Or a child molester/ lover of kiddie porn.

Like many 33-year-old men who live with their parents.

Still don't endorse the idea, though. But it could happen.

 

[jaguarr]

I am zero. They probably didn't have decimal points in those times so in relation to them I AM ZERO.

Who said the anti-christ was a terrorist?

Now you're arguing percentages? Wow. Working hard to justify it all for yourself, aren't you?

jag

 

[The Senator]

I am zero. They probably didn't have decimal points in those times so in relation to them I AM ZERO. There could be millions of people who see Barrack as the anti-christ and if one does not recognize decimal points they would still equate to ZERO.

Who said the anti-christ was a terrorist?

They also didn't have gravity and gay marriage because it was evil... but alas, we've grown up... maybe you should join the club...

 

[VanillaLando]

They also didn't have gravity and gay marriage because it was evil... but alas, we've grown up... maybe you should join the club...

So we have decimal points now and other such things which argueably make the end times prophecies wrong in their current grammatical form. BUT the event they are warning of is still coming, that doesn't change even if everything else does.

I have no problem accepting that the end times are near for the fact that it has to happen sometime and more than one source is pointing to 2012. Is it just a coincidence that, if Barrack wins, he will be campaigning hard for re-election in 2012? THAT is when his anti-christ persona will be shown!

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

VanillaLando...did I miss the part where you dealt with what I said about how 2012 has nothing to do with Biblical prophecy and in fact, contradicts it, so there's absolutely no reason to think that the 2 dudes would be on a 2012-dependent timeline?

 

[Tally Man]

Wow so if Obama's the anti christ what does that make Hillary?

 

[VanillaLando]

They also didn't have gravity and gay marriage because it was evil... but alas, we've grown up... maybe you should join the club...

They didn't have gravity? So I guess we know how they built the pyramids now, thanks for clearing that up smartie!

 

[VanillaLando]

VanillaLando...did I miss the part where you dealt with what I said about how 2012 has nothing to do with Biblical prophecy and in fact, contradicts it, so there's absolutely no reason to think that the 2 dudes would be on a 2012-dependent timeline?

No. All it takes for the end times to occur is for someone to put all the pieces from all the different prophecies together. And I'm just the nut to do it.

"I know the pieces fit!"

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

So what about it?

 

[The Senator]

They didn't have gravity? So I guess we know how they built the pyramids now, thanks for clearing that up smartie!

Well, considering the church executed anyone who spoke of silly scientific evidence, I still stand by that gravity was not universally accepted back then, and thus, the Christians didn't think it existed.

 

[VanillaLando]

Well, considering the church executed anyone who spoke of silly scientific evidence, I still stand by that gravity was not universally accepted back then, and thus, the Christians didn't think it existed.

Hmmmm, sounds like how I am being persecuted for saying Barrack is the anti-christ and that the end times are near.

 

[Addendum]

The Bible speaks of Two Witnesses being harbingers for the end times.

These two witnesses are said to prepare the world for approximately 3 1/2 years before the Beast rises and Christ returns. If 2012 is indeed 'the end of the world' that would mean these two should be rising any day now.

The two witnesses are said to be in the Middle East when the Beast rises and die in Jerusalem. With Bush threatening to launch an air strike on Iraq within two months it would not be inconceivable for heightened media exposure to begin. I have no doubt these two witnesses will be media members for how the bible has described them.

So who? Who are the two media figures who will be 'prophesizing' or 'broadcasting' from the middle east when the Anti Christ comes to power, the Beast rises, and Christ returns?

When I was born, the "Beast" was supposed to be Sadat. When I was in grade school, the "Beast" was supposed to be the Soviet Union. In junior high, it was Sadaam. After 9-11 it was Bin Laden, then Sadaam again, then Kim Jong Ill, now it's Iran, and some people are still saying it's Russia.

They're making up this **** as they go along because some dude in the first century took some drugs and wrote down what they saw whilst tripping

 

[Super Kal]

It also speaks of unicorns.
"And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness."
Isaiah 34:7

Could we be riding unicorns right now?

the word "unicorn" in Hebrew is re'emin. The Engilsh translation for re'emin is rhinoceros.

Any Christian that speaks as if he or she knows the exact time and date of Christ return, or the rapture

the rapture theory is a lie created by man from misunderstanding Biblical scripture