Bastard Moderator from Hell - 16
by Malice
(influenced by the
Bastard Operator from Hell stories from yester year)
Dearest Kind Sir,
It is my unhappy duty to inform you, that your son, StinkyButt, has been banned in action for being a moron.
I was present at his demise, because I was the one that banned him. Your offspring, the seed of your loins should simply put, be illegal and punishable by death to the entire family in a most greivous fashion.
Please get a vasectomy, it will only benefit us in the long run. Dont make me send TheTrick to do it for you.
Your Truly,
Malice
Sitting back, I deem I have started earning my positive karma. Lately I have been a little negative in this department. Yesterday, I did a bad thing, I actually answemred numerous questions in the Technical Support forum in a complete and consice fashion. I should ban myself for this, but alas, the world needs me, and needs my eternal greatness.
*RING*
*RING*
I pick up my cell phone and realize its Mirko.
Mirko: "Hi Malice, how goes it?"
Malice: "OK Mikro, whats happening?
Mirko: "Well, I wanted to chat to you about the problem we seem to have with you and some users who are complaining about you something about rude Private Messages."
Malice: "Mirko, you know better than to listen to these dweebs, they are simply chimps. They are mostly those I end up banning anyways."
Mirko: "I trully dont think you should be thinking that way, a matter of fact, I believe that you....
Malice pulls up his Instant Messenger, then sends a messenger to a user called "HiddenMayhem". Malice types in,
Network Code Red, Execute immedately.
Malice: "Sorry to interrupt, but it seems both ComingSoon and SuperHeroHype are having massive network problems."
Mirko: "Really?"
Malice: "Yup, let me execute a number of my administrative scripts... Let me call you back."
I smile, light up a cigarette and wait a few minutes, I then send the user "HiddenMayhem" a message,
Network Code Green, Execute immediately.
I then grab the Cell Phone and call Mirko.
Malice: "I resolved the issue. The network should be ok now. There was a clog in the Input/Output registries that were causing slow response to database calls. Thus causing the whole system to simply lag."
Mirko: "You rock man, you simply rock."
Malice: "I know, I have to go, later man..."
Another happy customer!