Bastard Moderator from Hell

[Equinox]

HAHA! Its good to have Malice back again up:
​

 

[Malice]

HAHA! Its good to have Malice back again up:
​

Thanks!
That one was about a 4 minute post...
(and it shows it by all the typos....)

 

[Socrates]

Brilliant stuff.

 

[Spider-Man Luvr28]

Cool.

 

[Malice]

Was this latest one (minus the typos) up to par with the earlier work?

 

[Socrates]

Little short, but still nice.

 

[Equinox]

Was this latest one (minus the typos) up to par with the earlier work?

Old is Gold..

But since you were gone for a long time, I think you will catch up with it in a while

 

[Malice]

Bastard Moderator from Hell - 18
by Malice

(influenced by the Bastard Operator from Hell stories from yester year)

A few weeks later, Malice was looking thru the Community forums and saw a new post called:
I was hacked! I was fired! I was charged! (posted by FancyFred)

Eagerly intrigued, I clicked on the topic and read the first post

FancyFred:
Hi all, FF here.
This has got to be the hardest thing I have ever done. I wanted to relate my ordeal to you so that this never happens to you.

I came into work today and logged onto my PC, opened AIM, and SHH as I aways do, then proceeded to do work. About 10AM, I heard a commotion in the hallways behind me. Turning around, I found a FBI agent holding a gun, pointing it at me, telling me to get on the ground. I kid you not, I wet my pants.

They proceeded to read me my rights, cuffed me and then pulled me to my feet.
They asked me if this was my computer and I of course said yes. They proceeded to unplug it and take it with them.

I was hauled thru the office in handcuffs. This was the most humiliating experience in my life. I trully hope noone ever has this happen to them.

From what I understand, I was being investigated for a few weeks. It seems somehow I was implicated in some sort of online child pornography scheme. I dont have a clue how this happened. I must have been hacked somehow. I cant explain it.

I am currently out on bond, since they believed that I was not a flight risk. Well, here I am now, using a computer at my parents. They think I am a perve now, and almost didnt let me in the house.

I ask you all this, how should I proceed?

I smiled at this post and decided to truly help him.

I posted:
Did sNiCkeRdOOdle stop bothering you?

*smile*

 

[Equinox]

ROFLMAO!!!!

Ive been laughing continously now and my stomach hurts...
​

 

[tzarinna]

Did sNiCkeRdOOdle stop bothering you?

I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you but I am certainly enjoying the show.

 

[Malice]

I feel the creative and moderative juices flowing...

 

[Malice]

any interesting thoughts on future espisodes?

 

[Equinox]

any interesting thoughts on future espisodes?

How about revenge on Holly?

 

[tzarinna]

Ohhhh, durty, durty, durty....

I'm afraid I'm unware of what you've touched on thus far.

How about some hypsters meeting for the 1st time at a convention, set stalking, road trip....

Of course this place is a sopa opera at times anyway, there is so much material.

 

[Malice]

How about revenge on Holly?

Who says FancyFred wont come back?

 

[Malice]

Bastard Moderator from Hell - 19
by Malice

(influenced by the Bastard Operator from Hell stories from yester year)

*ring ring*
*ring ring*

Malice stares at the Encrypted Mod Phone with curiosity and then picks it up.

Malice: Yo?

Unknown Voice: I know what you did!

Malice: You do?

Unknown Voice: Yes, child porn is a dangerous thing.

Malice starts typing furiously and moving his mouse with lightening speed.

Malice: Yes it truly is dangerous. I wholeheartedly agree. So FancyFred, you need to be smarter about how you host your porn.

The Unknown Voice stammers while speaking.

Unknown Voice: Um...Who is FancyFred?

Malice: Just a hunch.

Unknown Voice: Well I am reporting your activities to the authorities so they can deal with you.

Malice: I am sure you are. You may want to think about that one. Seeing how I have now faked using your home phone to make prank calls to 911, Homeland Security and the Secret Service. They should be arriving at your house in a few minutes. Have a great day Fred.

*Click*

Some people never learn.

After closing out my hacked satellite connections and phone switch connections Malice decides to get back to work on the latest request from Mirko. Mirko wishes him to incorporate some new types of intelligent ads into the forums to increase his profit margin.

Opening the main forum templates, Malice starts to edit them as requested, then stops. Smiling he cancels his changes and decides to approach the as in a different fashion.

A few hours later, he saves all his changes and then creates a new hidden user group in the vBulletin system called: Flooded Users

Malice started looking for a person to test out my new advertising campaign on so he went to the main board looking for a volunteer who is currently on. Looking at the active users, he sees the user: SpideyGoneWild (remember, he saved a message from SpideyGoneWild in a previous episode)

He simply adds SpideyGoneWild to the Flooded Users group, and decide to wait and see.

*wait*
*wait*
*wait*

About 20 minutes later, he sees the below message on the Technical Board:
TITLE: HELP! I am being swamped by ads! Hundreds of them!
BODY:
Someone help! All of a sudden, I was inundated with advertisements! I closed one, only to have another 2 open! I barely made it back to the board to post for help!

Someone please help me!
SpideyGoneWild

Malice smiles and posts:
I will investigate it.

He waits about 5 minutes, then remove SpideyGoneWild from the Flooded Users group. Knowing this is a resolution to this, he waits to get his next SHH Fan message...

Another satisfied user...

 

[tzarinna]

That is evil!!!

 

[bored]

You glorious bastard.

 

[DOG LIPS]

Someday you must teach me the powerful ways of the Bastardous-force, Malice.

 

[Green Lantern]

Bout time Malice

 

[Malice]

I try....

 

[Green Lantern]

And when you do get em out they're great, but the whole six month wait between em was killer

 

[Malice]

Well it keeps the anticipation going

 

[Malice]

I am having a little Writers Block at the moment...but I will think of something soon

 

[Malice]

Since I dont update this as much as I would love to, I would honestly like someone else to join in the fun. As long as they can portray the BMFH in his correct light...anyone wanna try?