Bastard Moderator from Hell - 21
by Malice
(influenced by the Bastard Operator from Hell stories from yester year)
August 7, 2006 - Later the same day...
Pradeep: Velcom to ZooperEroEype! Ow may I help you?
Malice: Pradeep, I am Malice, the poor bastard who is loosing his job because your third world country finally dropped its abacus and figured out how to use a Dial-Up Modem. Dont be pleasent to me, I am not a nice guy. Lets get this straight. Your ass will belong to me for the next week. You understand that?
Pradeep: Very Valice. Please let me tell you how sorry I am feeling for you.
*Malice thinks to himself, damn, this could be fun....*
*grins evilly*
Malice: Can it scab. First on your agenda. Reading email. Do you know what email is?
Pradeep: Valice, yes I do, Thank you Very Much!
Malice: Great. Now all I have to do is teach it to chew with its mouth closed. OK, your first job is reading the Technical Emails. You need to go thru them, item by item, verifying the integrity of the....
*thinks*
Malice: ...verifying the integrity of the I-D-10-T Database. This I-D-10-T Database is your lifes blood. If its not running, or not running correct, your ass is back home, playing with your holy one named Betsy. Now to keep the I-D-10-T Database running, you must pay attention to your emails. They will be handing you the forensic data you need, and where to begin searching the database for problems. Do you understand?
Pradeep: Yes Yes. I-D-10-T Database, relies on emails.
Malice: I have just set you up a new email address on the SuperHeroHype.com system. Here is your new email address, (
[email protected]). Your password is: FungalInfection200! That should get you in mail in a little bit. Wait on replication. Do you know what replication is?
Pradeep: Replikashun. Yes Yes. I am understanding.
*Malice meanwhile is playing the game where he spreads his hand out on a table, and quickly stabs a knife in between his fingers back and forth.*
(from the movie Aliens in the event you dont know what I am referring to)
Malice: Now, have you ever used VBulliten before?
Pradeep: Vbullet, yes yes. I am understanding.
*Malice rolls his eyes....*
Malice: Very well. Have you ever programmed in PHP or MySQL?
Pradeep: BHB yes yes, MySQL yes yes
Malice: That is PHP, not BHB, but forget it...lets move on. I am creating you a new administrator account on the VBulletin board for SuperHeroHype. Your UserName is: PraDeepThroat The password is the same as your Email address. Now I am going to go offline for a few minutes and call you back. I need to perform a few tasks here, and then will be able to monitor you while you work, so you can improve.
*grins*
Pradeep: yes Yes, Very Well.
*Click*
Thinking to himself, "This cant almost be this easy, can it?"