Batman v. Wolverine...

[Pablo Parker]

so...batman is a little pansy boy who flees at the site of a real fight and resorts to using cute little gadgets...check

well, he´d be pretty stupid if he went into a real fight with wolverine without any weapon...

and btw... he´s friggen batman!!!

 

[Parker]

Wouldn't Pedro Parquez be just the PERFECT name for a Latino Spider-Man?

 

[MulligaN Stew]

I don't think that they would fight.

Batman: We could fight. You might win. You might lose. "I'm not going to kill you, but I don't have to save you."

Wolverine: Stop speaking in tongues and just spit it out already!!!

Batman: Yeah, *embarrassed*, I don't kill my enemies. It's a problem.

Wolverine: *laughs* There's no way we can fight, if you have that kind of handicap. It's okay girlscout. *chuckles some more*

Batman: Some things are worth dying for, however, I'm going to ignore that; I have a proposition for you. Gotham needs another protector.

Wolverine: You mean someone willing to 'off' these guys so you can get a decent night's sleep?

Batman: In so many words. . .

Wolverine: Okay. Buy me a couple six-packs and we're even. . . . Bruce.
*snickers*

Batman: Laugh it up. We both know my past, but only I know yours.

Wolverine: *befuddled* but how. . . . .

Batman: I know everything.[Batman fans tell themselves this all the time]

Wolverine: Whatever, just get me those six-packs and don't wait up.

Batman: Fair Enough. Who will you. . .dispose of first?

Wolverine and Batman both: *wide smiles*
____________________________________________________________
Later in the news:

Now we go live to the scene where Commissioner Gordon has a statement for the press. . .
Commissioner Gordon: The victim was small in stature with a foreign metal coursing through his body. We can't determine how he was killed, but the smile on his face is a clear indication. Nothing further is available for the public at this time
____________________________________________________________
*the Joker is arrested*

Joker in Arkham: Some one set me up!!! I never saw the man, I tell you! Batsy! Batsy! You've got to help me clear my name!!! Where's a hero when you need one?!
_____________________________________________________________
Batman[at Wayne Manor in the lower South-East end]:

Logan never saw it coming. I shouldn't have asked him to do this, but I thought he would be successful. I. . .I'm never wrong. How did this happen? Who killed him?

*goes into state of Manic Depression / attempts suicide / sent to Arkham*

Bruce Wayne's cell neighbor is the Joker who laughs constantly.

Wayne: The joke really was on me. Death is better than this.
_______________________________________________________________
*Cyclops throws some used facial make-up into a trash-hopper*
Cy: Now, Jean is mine! ALL MINE!!!

*laughs* . . . *stops laughing*

Cy: *thinks* I don't like the way Bruce Wayne was staring at her the other day. . . .he's a threat.

Wolverine vs. Batman would end with Cyclops cock-blocking every single male of the planet. . . by killing them.

Is that what you people want?

edit: I'm starting to think that it is. You back-stabbers..

 

[jks]

I don't think that they would fight.

Batman: We could fight. You might win. You might lose. "I'm not going to kill you, but I don't have to save you."

Wolverine: Stop speaking in tongues and just spit it out already!!!

Batman: Yeah, *embarrassed*, I don't kill my enemies. It's a problem.

Wolverine: *laughs* There's no way we can fight, if you have that kind of handicap. It's okay girlscout. *chuckles some more*

Batman: Some things are worth dying for, however, I'm going to ignore that; I have a proposition for you. Gotham needs another protector.

Wolverine: You mean someone willing to 'off' these guys so you can get a decent night's sleep?

Batman: In so many words. . .

Wolverine: Okay. Buy me a couple six-packs and we're even. . . . Bruce.
*snickers*

Batman: Laugh it up. We both know my past, but only I know yours.

Wolverine: *befuddled* but how. . . . .

Batman: I know everything.[Batman fans tell themselves this all the time]

Wolverine: Whatever, just get me those six-packs and don't wait up.

Batman: Fair Enough. Who will you. . .dispose of first?

Wolverine and Batman both: *wide smiles*
____________________________________________________________
Later in the news:

Now we go live to the scene where Commissioner Gordon has a statement for the press. . .
Commissioner Gordon: The victim was small in stature with a foreign metal coursing through his body. We can't determine how he was killed, but the smile on his face is a clear indication. Nothing further is available for the public at this time
____________________________________________________________
*the Joker is arrested*

Joker in Arkham: Some one set me up!!! I never saw the man, I tell you! Batsy! Batsy! You've got to help me clear my name!!! Where's a hero when you need one?!
_____________________________________________________________
Batman[at Wayne Manor in the lower South-East end]:

Logan never saw it coming. I shouldn't have asked him to do this, but I thought he would be successful. I. . .I'm never wrong. How did this happen? Who killed him?

*goes into state of Manic Depression / attempts suicide / sent to Arkham*

Bruce Wayne's cell neighbor is the Joker who laughs constantly.

Wayne: The joke really was on me. Death is better than this.
_______________________________________________________________
*Cyclops throws some used facial make-up into a trash-hopper*
Cy: Now, Jean is mine! ALL MINE!!!

*laughs* . . . *stops laughing*

Cy: *thinks* I don't like the way Bruce Wayne was staring at her the other day. . . .he's a threat.

Wolverine vs. Batman would end with Cyclops cock-blocking every single male of the planet. . . by killing them.

Is that what you people want?

edit: I'm starting to think that it is. You back-stabbers..

Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why heroin is illegal

 

[Sloth7d]

The instant Batman figures out theres metal in wolverines skeletal system its over.
He'd either put on his high powered taser gloves on and beat/shock him unconscious or use a magnetic device to render Wolvie motionless.

 

[Poetic Chaos]

So pretty much agreed Batman can't outfight Wolverine. Just out-smart/cheap him into a victory. But he's not a better fighter. That I'll accept.

 

[Parker]

So pretty much agreed Batman can't outfight Wolverine. Just out-smart/cheap him into a victory. But he's not a better fighter. That I'll accept.

If we leave out all mutations and gadgets, and it's just the two of them hand-to-hand, I vote Bats.

 

[Sloth7d]

So pretty much agreed Batman can't outfight Wolverine. Just out-smart/cheap him into a victory. But he's not a better fighter. That I'll accept.

I don't know about that. But because of Wolverines healing factor, adamantium skeleton, and beserker rage I doubt Bats could knock him out or kill him hand to hand, even if he can fight better.