Chuck Norris Joke Thread

[CorporalHicks]

I've got some:

Chuck Norris impregnated 24 nuns, they later gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only team to go undefeated and win the super bowl.

Chuck Norris can touch mc hammer

chuck norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like chuck norris

chuck norris sleeps with a nightlight, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark's afraid of him

chuck norris can clap with one hand

post them here

 

[ROBOCOP CPU001]

Chuck norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down.

 

[Joe Kerr]

I've got some:

Chuck Norris impregnated 24 nuns, they later gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only team to go undefeated and win the super bowl.

Chuck Norris can touch mc hammer

chuck norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like chuck norris

chuck norris sleeps with a nightlight, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark's afraid of him

chuck norris can clap with one hand

post them here

Chuck norris is so bad he counted to infinity... twice.

Chuck norris is the only man alive who can slam a revolving door.

When Chuck Norris takes a shower he doesnt get wet... the water gets Chuck Norrised

 

[The Kid]

Chuck Norris is really Luke's father and yours.

Chuck Norris can see you right now

Zod Kneeled before chuck Norris.

 

[<(o_o)>]

Chuck Norris is so old that nobody knows his true hair color.

Chuck Norris doesn't need Viagra he can keep it up indefinitely.

Chuck Norris doesn't just know Karate, he went back in time & invented it.

 

[Immortalfire]

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.

 

[ROBOCOP CPU001]

Those are great..

 

[Majik1387]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.
Chuck Norris' tears are the cure for cancer.

 

[Immortalfire]

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is the preferred method of execution in seventeen states.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Those aren't cast & crew credits that roll after "Walker Texas Ranger", it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the head that day.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris judges a book by it's cover.

The last person that made eye contact with Chuck Norris was Ray Charles.

Endangered species are just animals Chuck Norris hasn't gotten to yet.

Will Rogers never met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole."Saddam was roundhouse kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

Chuck Norris' tears are the cure for cancer.

Unfortunately he has never cried.

 

[Spidey Rules 2]

Chuck Norris doesn't have to look both ways before crossing the street, cars look both ways for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris CAN just eat one Lay's Potato Chip.

Dijorno Pizza IS actually delievered to Chuck Norris when he's in the mood for pizza.

The women of Playboy, they're actually posing for Chuck Norris, some guy with a camera just happens to be there to take the pictures.

 

[<(o_o)>]

Chuck Norris is getting to the age were he should think about wearing diapers.

 

[Donnie Darko]

Since Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick-related deaths have increased 1,000,000,000%.

 

[Vapor]

Chuck Norris walked down the street with an erection, there were no survivors.

 

[JackBauer]

isn't this, like, SOOOOO last week?

 

[WorthyStevens]

The whole world shook when Jack Bauer killed Chuck Norris.

 

[Donnie Darko]

Chuck Norris killed Jack Bauer's wife.

 

[The Chairman]

Chuck Norris is sick of Chuck Norris jokes.

 

[Immortalfire]

Dijorno Pizza IS actually delievered to Chuck Norris when he's in the mood for pizza.

Haha

 

[WorthyStevens]

Chuck Norris' ex-girlfriend once told him to go screw himself. Her name was Chandra Levy.

 

[Spoarz™]

I love this Chuck Norris crap

 

[CorporalHicks]

chcuk norris' sperm are little white ninjas

 

[Poetic Chaos]

Chuck Norris has only one hand. The Upper Hand.

 

[CorporalHicks]

chuck norris doesn't look both ways for cars, cars look both ways for chuck norris.

 

[enterthemadness]

The opening scene of the movie ''Saving Private Ryan'' is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.