Astonishing True Tales of the Most Bad-Ass Men to ever walk the Earth

Simo Häyahä
It was during the Winter War (1939–1940), between Finland and the Soviet Union, that he began his duty as a sniper and fought for the Finnish Army against the Red Army. In temperatures between −40 and −20 degrees Celsius, dressed completely in white camouflage, Häyhä was credited with 505 confirmed plus 37 unconfirmed kills of Soviet soldiers.[3][5] The unofficial Finnish front line figure from the battlefield of Kollaa places the number of Häyhä's sniper kills at over 800.[6] A daily account of the kills at Kollaa was conducted for the Finnish snipers. Besides his sniper kills, Häyhä was also credited with over 200 kills with a Suomi KP/-31 submachine gun, thus bringing his credited kills to at least 705.[5] Remarkably, all of Häyhä's kills were accomplished in fewer than 100 days at a time of year with very short hours of daylight.[7][8][9]

Häyhä used a Finnish militia variant, White Guard M/28 "Pystykorva" or "Spitz", of the Russian Mosin-Nagant rifle, because it suited his small frame (5 ft 3 in/1.60 m). He preferred to use iron sights rather than telescopic sights to present a smaller target (the sniper must raise his head higher when using a telescopic sight), for more reliable visibility (a telescopic sight's glass can fog up easily in cold weather), and aid concealment (sunlight glare in telescopic sight lenses can reveal a sniper's position). Another tactic used by Häyhä was to compact the snow in front of him so that the shot would not disturb the snow and reveal his position.[citation needed] He also kept snow in his mouth, so that the vapor of his breath would not give him away.[citation needed]

The Soviets tried several ploys to get rid of him, including counter-snipers and artillery strikes. On March 6, 1940, Häyhä was shot in the lower left jaw by a Russian soldier during combat. The bullet tumbled upon impact and exited his head. He was picked up by fellow soldiers who said "half his head was missing", but he was not dead: he regained consciousness on March 13, the day peace was declared. Shortly after the war Häyhä was promoted from alikersantti (corporal) to Second Lieutenant by Field Marshal Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim; no one else has gained rank so quickly in Finland's military history.

He sat in trees in -20 to -40 degree weather, killed hundreds of men in 100 days, including counter-snipers sent specifically to kill him, was shot in the jaw, bullet exited his head and he still lived. Badass. :up:
 
GOD OF DEATH

Captain Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill AKA MAD JACK
Churchill resumed his commission after Poland was invaded. In May 1940, Churchill and his unit, the Manchester Regiment, ambushed a German patrol near L'Epinette, France. Churchill gave the signal to attack by cutting down the enemy Feldwebel (sergeant) with his barbed arrows, becoming the only known British soldier to have felled an enemy with a longbow in the course of the war.[1] He volunteered for the Commandos, unsure of what Commando Duty entailed, but because it sounded dangerous, after fighting at Dunkirk.

Churchill was second in command of No. 3 Commando in Operation Archery, a raid on the German garrison at Vågsøy, Norway on December 27, 1941.[2] As the ramps fell on the first landing craft, Churchill leapt forward from his position and played a song on his bagpipes, before throwing a grenade and running into battle in the bay. For his actions at Dunkirk and Vågsøy, Churchill received the Military Cross and Bar. Perhaps Churchill's most impressive military exploits came in early 1942. It is claimed that he and five other Commandos took down a whole German outpost of around 300 men. The mission took them three weeks, in which time they hid in the dense undergrowth surrounding the outpost, surviving on a diet consisting merely of Marmite and Salami.

In July 1943, as commanding officer, he led 2 Commando from their landing site at Catania in Sicily with his trademark claymore slung around his waist and a longbow and arrows around his neck and his bagpipes under his arm.[3] This was again repeated at the landings at Salerno. Leading 2 Commando, Churchill was ordered to capture a German observation post outside of the town of La Molina controlling a pass leading down to the Salerno beach-head. He led the attack by 2 and 41 Commandos, infiltrating the town and capturing the post, taking 42 prisoners including a mortar squad. Churchill led the men and prisoners back down the pass with the wounded being carried on carts with huge wheels, pushed by German prisoners. He commented that to him it was "an image from the Napoleonic Wars."[4] He received the Distinguished Service Order for leading this action at Salerno.[5]

In 1944, he led the Commandos in Yugoslavia, where they supported the efforts of Josip Broz Tito's Partisans from the Adriatic island of Vis.[6] In May, he was ordered to raid the German held island of Brač. He organised a motley army of 1,500 Partisans, 43 Commando and one troop from 40 Commando for the raid. The landing was unopposed, but on seeing the eyries from which they later encountered German fire, the Partisans decided to defer the attack until the following day. Churchill's bagpipes signalled the remaining Commandos to battle. After being strafed by an RAF Spitfire, Churchill decided to withdraw for the night and to re-launch the attack the following morning.[7] The following morning, one flanking attack was launched by 43 Commando with Churchill leading the elements from 40 Commando. The Partisans remained at the landing area. Only Churchill and six others managed to reach the objective. A mortar shell killed or wounded everyone but Churchill, who was playing "Will Ye No Come Back Again?" on his pipes as the Germans advanced. He was knocked unconscious by grenades and captured.[7] He was later flown to Berlin for interrogation and then transferred to Sachsenhausen concentration camp.[citation needed]

In September 1944, he and an RAF officer crawled under the wire through an abandoned drain and set out to walk to the Baltic coast; they were recaptured near the coastal city of Rostock, only a few miles from the sea. In late April 1945 Churchill was transferred to Tyrol together with about 140 other prominent concentration camp inmates, guarded by SS troops. A delegation from prisoners made contact with senior Germany army officers and made known the identity of the high-status prisoners and the fear that they were to be executed. A regular German army unit under the command of Captain Wichard von Alvensleben then moved in to protect the prisoners. Outnumbered, the SS guards moved out, leaving the prisoners behind.[8] The prisoners were then set free. After the departure of the Germans Churchill walked 150 miles to Verona, Italy where he met an American armoured column.[citation needed]
As the Pacific War was still ongoing Churchill was sent to Burma,[9] where the largest land battles against Japan were still raging, but by the time he reached India, Hiroshima and Nagasaki had been bombed, and the war abruptly ended. Churchill was said to be unhappy with the abrupt end of the war, saying: "If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!"[9]

Mad Jack Churchill, killed with a long bow, a claymore and his guns, all while playing his bagpipe underarm. Badass? Most likely. Insane? Definitely!
 
I read about this guy in a book on the Battle of Hastings called 1066: The Year of the Conquest. This viking was at the battle prior to Hastings known as the Battle of Stamford Bridge. One Viking, one bridge, and a whole lot of rage. http://www.badassoftheweek.com/stamfordbridge.html
 
There was some Indian or Asian dude in British Army that took on like 30 Afhgan soldiers and won. Happened last year and yahoo posted story earlier in month cause he got medal.
 
Horace Greasely

Horace Greasley was a 20-year-old Czechoslovakian hairdresser when Hitler invaded his country and he was forced to enlist in the army. It turns out cutting hair doesn't translate well to fighting Nazis because Horace was immediately taken prisoner on his first mission and sent to a POW camp in Poland.

Most people in this situation would be too distracted by the abject horror of being a Nazi prisoner of war to be on the lookout for the ladies. Most people aren't Horace Greasley.
Greasley met Rosa Rauchbach -- the young daughter of the quarry director of his labor camp -- and they quickly fell for each other. Greasley decided **** it, if he's going out, he's going out in style: by having kinky prisoner sex. But after almost a full year of salacious boning right under the Nazi's noses, Greasley was transferred to a different camp, and that's where this story goes from merely awesome to balls-out insane.

Greasley wasn't going to let a couple of little things like the Nazi army and some ****** World War sequel get in the way of consummating his love. With the help of some buddies, he tunneled under the wire fence of his camp and tasted freedom. He could have easily hoofed it to the nearest neutral country and been done with the damn war, but instead risked everything to satisfy his carnal urges.
The cheeky Czech walked to Rauchbach's camp, sneaked in, had a little sex and sneaked out again. Then he went back to his camp and sneaked back in as if nothing happened. He didn't just do it once, either -- he'd do this exact routine three times a week.
For five years.

Either he was insanely stealthy or the German guards were absolutely terrible at their jobs. It was like a real-life version of The Great Escape -- if, instead of freedom waiting at the end of the journey, it was another prison ... with a vagina inside. And they never caught him -- the only thing that stopped Greasley from continuing the most dangerous sex regimen in history is the fact that World War II ended and he was set free.
 

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