Either This Or That... - Part 1

[Rozen Thorne]

That's what cops get paid for, clearly I'm not a hero.

You climb up in a big rig because you got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
OR
You hop in a dilapidated souped-up police surplus cruiser because you're on a mission from God.

 

[MissMarvelous]

The big rig.

Wear a woolen bodysuit in the Sahara OR Wear a bikini in the Antarctic

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Hmm I do need a sauna, so the bodysuit in the desert.

Get a freebie in Amsterdam's red light district
OR
Get free samples at a bakery in France

 

[MissMarvelous]

bakery! bakery!

Have every question you've answered on this site come true OR Live with constant labor-level pain

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Question thing.

Live in the Final Fantasy Universe, get a powerful Buster Sword.
OR
Have a magic wand in the real world but have no idea how to use it.

 

[MissMarvelous]

A magic wand.. brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Have a pet monkey or Have a talking parrot

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Parrot, a pirates best friend.

An asteroid slams into North America eliminating the US from the world
OR
China accidentally nukes themselves into oblivion eliminating cheap junk from the world.

 

[MissMarvelous]

That's so hard! I like both their junks!!!!!!

Have the voice of PeeWee Herman and dress perfectly or Have the voice of Morgan Freeman and dress terribly

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Sound smooth, look like a bum.

Every single drink is alcoholic OR All food is psychedelic

 

[MissMarvelous]

Alcoholic drinks

Poop rainbows OR Vomit rainbows

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Rainbow Poo

You're chained up spread-eagle standing up, smacked with a cricket bat in the butt repeatedly
OR
Have someone tired up spread on their back on a bed and stick pointy sharp long needles in them

 

[Ash J. Williams]

I'm chained up spread-eagle standing up, smacked with a cricket bat in the butt repeatedly

High pain tolerance or high alcohol tolerance?

 

[Rozen Thorne]

High pain tolerance

Take a round trip to space in a commercial spacecraft.
OR
Drive pole position in the Monaco F1 Grand Prix.

 

[MissMarvelous]

The Grand Prix!

Have your hands switched for Dustpans

OR

Be sweating jam instead of sweat

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Sweat jam, that could have some fun possibilities.

Fried Chicken and Waffles OR Rice and Beans w/Fish Tacos

 

[MissMarvelous]

Fried Chicken and Waffles - I never tried those but I believe those would blow my mind... or something.

Lose your keys OR Lose your cell phone

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Gotta have my keys so I can drive to the cell phone store.

You get 1 minute to eat your breakfast, lunch and dinner and then the food vanishes.
OR
Wear an outfit only once because after 8 hours it poofs into nothing, but you have a large clothing budget.

 

[MissMarvelous]

8-hour outfits!!!!

Have a large painting of yourself OR Have a life size sculpture of yourself

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Sculpture seems iffy, might get pulled down by protestors. I'll stick to painting, I can stick it in a closet.

Many Russians move in next door, they have pet bear and much vodka.
OR
A whole troop of Pikeys hauled up around in their caravans and stray dogs.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Vodka! And hot Russians... oh yeah, I've read so many novels about hot and big Russians, all cute, all Alpha!

Never be able to hear your favorite song again OR Never be able to watch your favorite movie again

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Whoa, little too evil there Satan, might want to dial it down a bit!

Water is a solid now, you eat it like celery, nice and crunchy.
OR
Cooked meat has the consistency of pudding, mmm steak pudding.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Crunchy water... I threw a little in my mouth with the other option.

Be part of a real Jurassic Park scenario OR Be part of a real Day After Tomorrow scenario

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Chased by dinosaurs all day every day, no way I'm going out in that cold no ma'am!

Intense heated discussions with your family every single fecking day
OR
Your friends ignore you and go off to do other stuff without you

 

[MissMarvelous]

Heated discussion with the fam.

Get a free appetizer with every meal OR Get a free dessert with every meal

 

[Rozen Thorne]

By the time the main course is over I struggle with dessert don't even bother half the time, I'll take apps all day every day, I dig me some apps.

Free infinite bread of your type and choice, in general not even at a restaurant.
OR
All you can eat feature at every single fast food and restaurant-type place.