Help with writing dialog.

[turtlefocker]

delete

 

[Tempest19]

Character traits of the suicidal and the 'pushing' guy:

Andy talks about how ****ed up the world is and have that lead into how he's gradually having more and more trouble hanging on because he thinks it would be better if he was dead. Many events led him to this place of thinking the world is ****ed up- have these events escalate.

Wempe sees this flaw and sees that Andy is on the edge and he asks him more and more about it, seemingly in a nice way, but dual motive is to make Andy more and more depressed by ranting about how screwed up the world is. So in effect Wempe is pushing Andy towards suicide.

 

[turtlefocker]

delete

 

[turtlefocker]

C'mon guys. Dialog....a ****ing climax... I got writers block.

 

[The Guard]

You don't learn to write dialogue and story when you ask people to write dialogue and story for you. Write it, and if it works, great. If it doesn't, learn why it doesn't work. The best dialogue in a scenario like this is dialogue that sounds real, not dialogue that sounds flashy and important.

 

[turtlefocker]

You don't learn to write dialogue and story when you ask people to write dialogue and story for you. Write it, and if it works, great. If it doesn't, learn why it doesn't work. The best dialogue in a scenario like this is dialogue that sounds real, not dialogue that sounds flashy and important.

That post actually inspired me to start writing it.. I wrote a pathetic 3 pages and have edited my first post to include them. I tried to make it sound as real as possible, before that I was really going for kind of profound dialog and found myself staring at a blank page.

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I'd love to hear everyone's opinions on the first three pages. Does it sound real? was it interesting to read at all? Did it set Wempe up as the type of person who you could believe would talk Devo into killing himself just one scene later??

 

[The Guard]

It sounds all right. Lot of cursing. Real enough, given the right context. It sets Wempe up as someone who doesn't think much of anyone else. Not very sensitive, so yeah, it could work.