I really need help

[November Rain]

I've been down a lot lately. I feel like I don't have any friends, I've gained a lot of weight, my work is slipping, and I feel that everything I touch turns to *****. And Christ, I'm so desperate to get this off my chest that I'm telling it to a message board instead of having the balls to say it to real people.

This is what scares me. Every time I feel like I mess up my thoughts almost immediately turn to, "what would happen if I killed myself right now?" I think about who would miss me, who wouldn't, how life would go on without me. I even found myself categorizing which methods would be the least painful. And this happens every time I fail. Even if it's only for a moment every major failure I've faced has some thought of suicide accompanied with it. I'm really scared.

Well it seems you are quite clear of your objectives in making your life 'seem' better

become more sociable
get in shape
pay greater detail to your work
stop touching anything



In all honesty, not many people on this planet will miss you if you kill yourself, only a couple, your impact on a global scale and on the scale of the universe could be quite insignificant. You can't quantify your self worth on the amount of people who will miss you when you are gone.

All in all, i don't think thoughts of suicide are actually abnormal, i think most people get them from time to time, as long as you realise that there are potentially other options for a male living in a developed world with pretty much limitless access for potential sucess if one is willing to put in the hard work and capital.

but if you really really really want to kill yourself, feel free to do so, don't be scared about it and don't chicken out by thinking of the most painless method, if you want to, pain shouldn't be an issue, squeeze yourself into a microwave and turn the dial to defrost and slowly but surely explode into a new self of existence.

Remember....defrost setting....

 

[heypapajinx]

honey, EVERYONE goes through things like this.
NEVER be embarassed to talk about it.
and **** ANYONE who makes you feel guilty or "emo".
you have to keep reminding yourself that people WOULD INDEED be effected by you leaving them.
reminding yourself of that and reiterate that it is NOT an option.
also, do something physical!!
everytime i get depressed i get into a slump of eating more, drinking more, and then just perpetuate myself into a cycle of self disgust and self loathing.
but i finally realized that everytime i get angry, everytime i get upset or depressed i go run til it hurts.
til the pain i feel throughout my body completely overshadows the pain that i feel in my heart and mind, and then i feel good, because i did something productive and suddenly everything doesn't seem so bad.
LOOK AT THIS!!
it ALWAYS makes me smile!!

also, don't skimp out on treating yourself to somthing that you really WANT everynow and again. when i'm stressed out about rent, bills, work, and school i go buy myself something to treat myself and let myself know that even if no one else is around to take care of me, i still got myself, and i'm pretty ****ing cool.
and so are you. you know?

 

[M@ssEffect]

Getting laid always helped me.

Keep it going CF. Trust me when I say.....only you have the power to make things -seem- better. Keep fighting the good fight.

 

[Kyalesyin]

Someone already said it, but this looks to me like situational depression too.

One way to cute it. Get out of the situation. Change something. You can do it. I did.

 

[Vilya]

Could be midlife crisis going on here, find someone to talk to. You will be surprised at how many has those feelings.

 

[redmarvel]

I've been down a lot lately. I feel like I don't have any friends, I've gained a lot of weight, my work is slipping, and I feel that everything I touch turns to *****. And Christ, I'm so desperate to get this off my chest that I'm telling it to a message board instead of having the balls to say it to real people.

This is what scares me. Every time I feel like I mess up my thoughts almost immediately turn to, "what would happen if I killed myself right now?" I think about who would miss me, who wouldn't, how life would go on without me. I even found myself categorizing which methods would be the least painful. And this happens every time I fail. Even if it's only for a moment every major failure I've faced has some thought of suicide accompanied with it. I'm really scared.

1. You need to get out and make friends, join a gym / exercise club or start doing some other activity regularly to both help you lose weight and meet people. (For me it was dancing, I was EXTREMELY depressed all through high school but once I was an adult and could go out to the clubs Wednesday, Friday & Saturday my mood turned around).

2. If you feel like everything you touch goes foul, then you need to examine what you're doing. Start doing things for OTHER people, not yourself. You'll find that their appreciation makes you feel better about yourself. Look around your neck of the woods for organizations that need volunteers. Make sure the things they ask volunteers to do are things you enjoy doing. (Reading to old people, cooking for the homeless, whatever).

3. You've found a place where you feel free enough to express yourself. That's actually a good thing. Better to get the feelings out than to bottle them up inside. (and some of us are real people and not trolls/bots/illusions).

4. I think a lot of people have wondered what would happen if they were to die. It's part of what helps us examine our lives and decide what we are truly living for.

5. Try to remember when and where you experienced the most joy / happiness. What made that point of your life great? Can you do something now to recreate that moment at least in part?