Least Rocking Lyrics Of Rock!

[Wilhelm-Scream]

To me, Rock and Roll is about escapism. It’s about sex, fun, maybe black magic or drug-fueled metaphysical fantasy.

I despise “socially conscious” music. Songs can not change the world.
Does anyone think there was a sharp drop in child-beating after Suzanne Vega released “Luka”?
Does anyone think a lot of KKK members rethought their position after hearing En Vogue sing “Free Your Mind” and suffered guilt pangs when Michael Jackson declared “I’m not gonna spend my life bein’ a color.” ? Of course not.

I also hate mopey, or gross lyrics.
Rock and Roll is Mick Jagger bragging that this chick who used to give him grief is now “under his thumb”, or Robert Plant enthusiastically
informing the world that he is going to give every inch of his love to some chick.

I don't want to hear guy whining about the empty feeling when it’s last call and he “don’t have to go home but he can’t, stay, here.“ or this Mr. Bungle song I heard once which was pretty much 8 minutes of Mike Patton outing his passion for diarrhea.

So, though I know people probably won’t have the energy or inclination to participate, and this thread will wither away, I wanted to share some of my
“Least Rocking Lyrics of Rock”…..some of which will follow shortly.

 

[Ben Urich]

I like Semisonic.

 

[Erzengel]

Not really a Rock Song but it's the first song I thought of after reading your post but "Butterfly Kisses" is probably the creepiest song I've ever heard.....

Some of the lyrics...

"Walk beside the pony
daddy, it's my first ride."

"Sweet sixteen today,
She's looking like her momma
a little more everyday.
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and makeup,
from ribbons and curls."

 

[November Rain]

didn't public enemy's 'Fight the power' make some sort of social status change around america?

it's always referenced in all those mtv documentaries

also lady diana's tribute single written by elton john (a remake of candle in the wind) which is the biggest selling single of all time (in ze uk), was a socially concious song which enabled a large amount of money to also be raised for some of the charities that she supported.

if a socially concious song affect only a single person, then i believe its served its purpose.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Phil Collins - Another Day In Paradise

"She calls out to the man on the street
He can see she’s been crying
She’s got blisters on the soles of her feet
She can’t walk but she’s trying"

(Thanks for the image of a lady hobbling around with oozing sores on her feet, Phil. Gotta get that on my iPOD so I can put a soundtrack to the guilt I feel as I walk past hundreds of homeless people everyday.)



Lynrd Skynrd - That Smell

Ooh, ooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you.

(Once I set a mouse trap right before we went for a week to Las Vegas. Apparently a mouse got caught/killed shortly after we left. Reminded me of this song when I got home. SEXY!)


Blink-182 - Adam's Song

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

(This kind of maudlin self-pity will give me a stroke and has already given me several mini-strokes. Someone show those f***s a documentary on the kids who eat grass pies in Afghanistan.)


Bob Seger - Like A Rock

I was eighteen
Didn't have a care
Working for peanuts
Not a dime to spare
But I was lean and
Solid everywhere
Like a rock

(A song about a 40 year old guy bemoaning the fact that he's a drab, fat sell-out. Awesome. I'll bet the sex antics were WILD backstage at a BS show! All those toothless ****es.)



The Beatles - I'm A Loser

I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown
My tears are falling like rain from the sky
Is it for her or myself that I cry

(Boo Hoo. Am I crying for ME, or for HER? Also Clown/Frown = Wicked Rhyme, dude.)


Bob Dylan - Subterranean Homesick Blues

Don't wanna be a bum
You better chew gum

(They should have sent a poet.)


Motley Crue - Without You

WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE
I'D SLOWLY WILT AND DIE
BUT WITH YOU BY MY SIDE
YOU'RE THE REASON I'M ALIVE

(Men should never even talk about "wilting" in front of women, especially if you're the guy who used to sing "Shout At The Devil" or "Looks That Kill")


Jethro Tull - Aqualung

Snot is running down his nose
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.

(SICK!!! Don't sing that. What's with Rockers and Hobos?)


Rush - The Spirit of Radio

It's really just a question of your honesty, yeah
Your honesty
One likes to believe in the freedom of music
But glittering prizes and endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity

(Back before we all became enlightened, I would've called these the "gheyest" lyrics of all time. Try to avoid quadrosyllabic words in Rock'n'Roll, thanks.)


Eve 6 - Inside Out

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rinds
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside,
swallow my doubt
turn it inside out
find nothing but faith in nothing
want to put my tender heart in a blender

( RF: )



AND, one of the ultimate epics of P*ssy Rock....
Papa Roach - Broken Home

Broken home

All alone
Broken home
All alone

I can't seem to fight these feelings
I'm caught in the middle of this
My wounds are not healing
I'm stuck in between my parents
I wish I had someone to talk to
Someone to I could confide in
I just wanna know the truth
I just wanna know the truth

Broken home
All alone
I know my mother loves me
But does my father even care
If I'm sad or angry
You were never ever there
When I needed you
I hope you regret what you did
I think I know the truth
Your father did the same to you
Did the same to you​

GAWD!

 

[Ben Urich]

Papa Roach sucks.

And those blink-182 lyrics aren't even their worst.

What Went Wrong? - blink-182
I'm sick of always hearing
All the sad songs on the radio
All day it is there to remind
An over-sensitive guy that he's lost and alone, yeah

I hate our favorite restaurant, our favorite movie, our favorite show,
We would stay up all through the night
We would laugh and get high, and never answer the phone

I can't forgive, can't forget
Can't give in, what went wrong
Cause you said this was right
You ****ed up my life

I'm sick of always hearing
Sappy love songs on the radio
This place, it's ****ing cursed and it's plagued
And I can never escape when my heart it explodes

I can't forgive, can't forget
Can't give in, what went wrong
Cause you said this was right
You ****ed up my life

I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me
What went wrong
I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me
What went wrong
I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me
What went wrong
I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me
What went wrong
I'm kicking

(The fact that Tom DeLonge was 25 when he wrote these lyrics depresses me.)

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

didn't public enemy's 'Fight the power' make some sort of social status change around america?

I don't know. Did it?

it's always referenced in all those mtv documentaries.

Oh, well Mtv's a super authority on the analysis of trends in race-related socio-economic inequities that I wouldn't wanna tangle with.

also lady diana's tribute single written by elton john (a remake of candle in the wind) which is the biggest selling single of all time (in ze uk), was a socially concious song which enabled a large amount of money to also be raised for some of the charities that she supported.

Okay, I'm not talking about fund-raising.
Live-Aid raised a ton of money, but it was because people wanted to see so many great bands at one event. It wasn't the "power" of the words set to music.
It was that so many people wanted to watch Led Zeppelin re-unite, or hear Queen rocking out, or see Tina Turner's thick thighs.


Slayer could write a song called "Skin the Babies", and then if they took all the proceeds from the album and bought Girl Scout Cookies, Yes, it would mean a lot of money for the Girl Scouts, and technically would "make a difference", but it isn't because of the music, it's because of the popularity of the performer, which I don't deny.

I'm saying, a rapper raps "F*** the Police", and it doesn't give law enforcement pause so they stop and re-evaluate their tactics and try to reach out to inner-city youth to learn why they're so hated.
It's preaching to the choir.

Just like, before the Iraq war, there were thousands of protesters outside my work everyday. Very passionate, singing songs.
None of their cardboard signs or slogans or songs made George Bush go, "Gee, everyone's against this war except me and my cabinet.
Guess I better re-think."

But, if they had a benefit with strippers and free beer, then yeah, they'd raise a lot of money, which could be contributed to some political organization, yes.

 

[Ronny Shade]

I don't know what to do with this thread.

 

[rdh007]

Why come at Bob Seger?

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

'cause he sucks pale, hairy ass...hard?

Anyway, jag's educational Hair Metal thread just reminded me of a great one.
Remember, these guys call themselves "METAL".


White Lion - When The Children Cry

when the children cry
let them know we tried
when the children fight
let them know it ain't right
when the children pray
let them know the way
cause when the children sing
then the new world begins

and the guy has such a weird accent that "begins" actually rhymes with "sing"
"Then the new, world be- GeenGs."

 

[Darren Daring]

Other people shouldn't contribute.

 

[jaguarr]

I friggin' HATE White Lion. Mike Tramp can't even sing in KEY, he is so bad!

jag

 

[Danalys]

what if i'm trying to escape sex, fun, maybe black magic.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

what if i'm trying to escape sex, fun, maybe black magic.

Then do not look to Rock.
This is your man.

 

[dogwonder78]

I don't know if this is the right thread to give me an excuse to make fun of Mr. Big or not, but if it is, I'd like to begin doing so.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

If a song has lyrics where the Rock Power of the words is not only at zero, but actually goes into the negative, then this is the place.

 

[Fran]

Some of the songs listed are known as "80's butt-rock"

 

[Mr Sparkle]

well, how about depressing declines in songwritting?
when the same people (or some of them) that recorded a song purely about LSD later recorded this:


Marconi plays the mamba,
Listen to the radio
Don't you remember?
We built this city,
We built this city on rock an' roll!

I was like 6, I didn't even know who Marconi was, I thought a mamba was a snake, and even then I knew that building a city on rock and roll was a stupid Idea.
Infact, a very little percentage of songs escape the self referential curse, once you go ahead and say "rock and roll" within a song you hope will "rock" you better have some spare bat heads to bite off.

 

[Danalys]

but he looks like he's evil under a facade.

anyway if you want escapism into those things you'd be better off with rap right now, sadly enough. see what happened if that the people who dreamed of being rockers grew up and then started singing about wishing to be rock stars rather than being an original rockstar. empathise with their audiance rather than being an example of something. where as the reverse happened in rap. so give it another 10 to twenty years and some one might start singing about being "the man" again.

 

[Fran]

Best rock songs ever:
1) Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin
2) Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd
3) More Than A Feeling by Boston.

 

[The Amazing Lee]

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
That's what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

I met her on Monday, twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
You know what I mean

My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

t:

 

[The Amazing Lee]

Working on a sex farm
Trying to raise some hard love
Getting out my pitch fork
Poking your hay

Scratching in your henhouse
Sniffing at your feedbag
Slipping out your back door
Leaving my spray

Sex farm woman, I'm gonna mow you down
Sex farm
woman, I'll rake and hoe you down
Sex farm woman,
don't you see my silo rising high?

Working on a
sex farm
Hosing down your barn door
Bothering you
livestock
They know what I need

Working up a hot
sweat
Crouching in your pea patch
Plowing through your
beanfield
Planting my seed

Sex farm woman,
I'll be your hired hand
Sex farm woman, I'll let
my offer stand
Sex farm woman, don't you hear my
tractor rumbling by?

Working on a sex farm
Trying to raise some hard love
Getting out my pitch
fork
Poking your hay

Hahahaha another classic by the same band.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

well, how about depressing declines in songwritting?
when the same people (or some of them) that recorded a song purely about LSD later recorded this:


Marconi plays the mamba,
Listen to the radio
Don't you remember?
We built this city,
We built this city on rock an' roll!

Ha, yes, not very rocking, especially in light of past glories.

Infact, very little songs escape the self referential curse, once you go ahead and say "rock and roll" within a song you hope will "rock" you better have some spare bat heads to bite off.

Interesting theory, let's see...

Pros
Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution, AC/DC
Rock and Roll pt.s 1 and 2, Gary Glitter
You Belong in Rock and Roll, David Bowie and Tin Machine
Rock and Roll, Led Zeppelin

Cons
The Heart of Rock and Roll, Huey Lewis
Rock On, David Essex
Rock and Roll Suicide, David Bowie


mmmm, I don't know.

 

[Ben Urich]

Detachable Penis - King Missile
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Lee,
Those Spinal Tap songs effing Rock.