lesbian vampire killers

[Panthro]

Well, if this takes off and Ellen Page's supposed lesbian werewolf movie gets made, we could have UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LESBIANS by 2010!

 

[the_ultimate_evil]

well now that this is out has anyone else seen it

i went last night with about 6 mates and an empty cinema and we laughed like hell, it is not high class art or well made thought provoking cinema. just get a bunch of drinks a few mates and enjoy the dumb jokes

honestly the way the critics are tearing it about they must have thought it was going to be a masterpiece

 

[gwynplaine]

Is it as good as Shaun of the dead ?

 

[Lunar_Wolf]

I tried to avoid this film at all costs because the title seemed too forced to me. I mean with a title like that, you got to deliver right? I feared it wouldn't, that the title was all talk and no action. With a free pass and nothing to do, my friend and I adventured into the screen to watch for what I was really hoping for-Nudity, lesbians and over the top gore. Deep down I was hoping for something that screamed, 70's exploitation.

The Plot

The film center's around two guys named Fletch and Jimmy. Jimmy is involved with a ***** of a girlfriend and Fletch is a slacker who is going nowhere in life. The two decide to take a trip by throwing a dart at the map of Britain, leaving it up to faith, to decide their journey. They end up going to some village, where they end up hanging out with a bunch of hot girls, who turn into lesbian vampires after being bitten. Jimmy and Fletch, along with the help of a local Vicar, must save the world.

The Good

There is some eye candy to look at in this film and I also laughed at a joke. I don't remember what the joke was and I'm pretty sure the joke didn't have anything to do with the film at all, but me remembering a joke someone told me a long time ago.

The Bad

Let me just roll back my sleeves first. Ah there we go. My fears came to life within in the first few minutes, the title was all talk and no action. I think I saw one boob and some PG kissing in this film. For a film that has the word ''lesbian'' in the title, I expected much more nudity and sexual things going on between the vampires. Along with the lack of lesbian interaction, was the lack of violence. Vampires in this film have white gooey blood, which sucked. This made the violence really tame. No limbs were hacked, no blood gushed from peoples necks, heck, I've seen more violence in a Goosebumps episode. The two things I wanted most from this film, did not deliver on any level.

What made this film even worse, was the ATROCIOUS acting, followed by the real **** dripping dialogue. The women in this film had such weird ass accents. It was like they were trying to do bad American accent, mixed with a bit of Polish on the side. The people who wrote this script, need a slap in the face for writhing such trash. The writers like to remind you throughout whole film, that they are not just vampires they are fighting, but lesbians vampires. It didn't work for me in the posters, what makes you think it would work in the film?

I didn't write this review because I wanted to, I wrote it to warn you not to see it. I found Epic Movie more entertaining than this so called film. That's how much it sucked.

Overall, I get Lesbian Vampire Killers-1/10

Be smart, choose your films wisely

 

[gwynplaine]

^Thank you for the heads-up, I probably will not be watching that film.

 

[Raiden]

This movie looks to have alot of fun with itself, and I'm glad B-movie and silliness still reside in Hollywood.

But from the review above, it failed to deliver on its most basic requirements, which are gore and nudity. That's too bad.

 

[Rac]

The women in this film had such weird ass accents. It was like they were trying to do bad American accent, mixed with a bit of Polish on the side.

I think they were trying to be Scandinavian or something. At least Lotte's actress, MyAnna Buring (The Descent, Doomsday) is Swedish.

I just watched the film. It wasn't ****, but it wasn't very good either. They should have gone the Raimi/Jackson route and made it ultra gorey. Now it's just "meh ok" film.