Mattchew's Xmas Card thread... SANTA vs. JESUS!

[Mattchew]

So, in the same way I obsess over most things, I tend to get way into making x-mas cards for my friends and family. Last year I went with the idea of a drunken-mall-santa...

You really can't tell from the pic, but the card is more an ornament with a message on the back... As such, drunken-mall-santa's arms and legs moved back and forth, and went you pushed and pulled on his hat the puke comes out of his mouth.

So this year, I decided to embrace the whole 'WAR ON CHRISTMAS' angle, but rather than buying into the crap idea that saying 'happy holidays' or being inclusive is a threat to Christmas, I chose to match-up the to true warriors who have been duking it out over the meaning of x-mas for as long as I can remember: Santa and Jesus.

This year's x-mas card I'm sending out will depict Santa and Jesus arm wrestling... and its gonna be f-ing sweet. I'll update with some pics as these cards come together.

Let me know what you think of the idea.

 

[The Last Meatbag]

That's so bad-ass to you sir.

 

[Mattchew]

That's so bad-ass to you sir.

Thanks man... about to post some pics of this year's card... let me know what you think.

 

[comanche_joe]

nice one man im lookin forward to seeing the new one

 

[Mattchew]

So here's the first step of these cards...

I just draw all the pieces I need onto on sheet of paper (actually I'm gonna add some stuff @ the end, but this was enough pieces to get me off and running).

I made 30 copies @ staples on heavy paper... The fact that I'm gonna have to put together 30 of these makes me wanna punch someone, btw.

I'll update tomorrow or sometime with pics of one of them put together. Let me know what you think.

 

[-WildCard-]

Very sweet

 

[Halcohol]

Cool, I really like your style.

 

[Nysrol]

I want one! those are some pretty sweet cards

 

[Mattchew]

So here's the current update...

Here's all the pieces (so far) cut out...

Here's pics of both Santa and Jesus with the guts of their arms...

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I'm hoping to have a complete verison in a day or two. Let me know what you think!

 

[Anita18]

Haha, that's hilariously twisted. Keep us posted!

 

[ComicChick]

can't wait to see the finished product

 

[Neto Magnus]

Dude, you put Hallmark to shame.

 

[_BB_]

wow, i want a jesus vs santa card

 

[ComicChick]

you should sell them on DA or cafepress or something. sell em somewhere

 

[Mattchew]

Thanks for all the awesome comments... I've been working this morning for about 2 hours, and so far I've cut out 225 of the 550 (exact numbers) individual pieces that make up the 25 cards (that's 22 separate pieces, per card if you're keeping track).


All of the 'guts' (the background, the parts the handle the moving arms, etc.) of the card have been cut. Below is a pic of my current process. The biggest headache represented here is the fact that every piece you see has at least 1 and at most 9 pre-cut holds for the brads I'm using connect all the pieces. More so, the guts of both arms, connected at a center piece that will be covered by the clasped hands... Those were a b!itch... trust.

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Now its on to the first REALLY crappy part of this process... cutting out the pieces you'll actually see (i.e. santa, jesus, arms, hands, table top, etc.) which will require A LOT of focus and a little alcohol, i think....

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A LOT of focus and a little alcohol, as opposed to the part of this project where I actually put together the 550 pieces I've cut out, which takes hardly any focus at all, but requires heaps and heaps of booze.... I guess what I'm trying to say is I plan to wake up sometime tomorrow to 25 completed x-mas cards, having been black-out drunk.

Hoping to have the first card complete sometime later today. Will post pics of the final product then. As always, Let me know what you think!

 

[iambilly81]

good idea, and good luck. makes me wanna do that now. i like the mall santa card too, awesome.

 

[Mattchew]

9 hours later....

So I spent 9 f-ing hours cutting crap out today. Below is a pic of the fruits of my labor... 550 seperate pieces of paper, whether it looks like it or not.

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You might notice that not a single card is put together, but I do take comfort that tomorrow when I do start to put these together, I will only be using a bit of glue and tape, and no cutting will be required. NONE.

In closing, I thought I'd post this pic of my clippings on my floor... Keep in mind, I stopped @ the halfway point and cleaned the floor completely so this is half the clippings from today.

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As always, let me know what you think.

 

[Ben Urich]

9 hours?!

 

[Mattchew]

9 hours?!

I know, right? But I guess the way I justify that amount of time used is that, for one, I'm crazy.

Secondly, I don't get gifts for my friends, so this is an elaborate card that is personal and very clearly from me... and the total price tag per card (not including time spent obviously) is around $1.40.

So yeah, this 'little' project kills a weekend, but im sending 25 friend cards with a total price tag of about $35. I don't think I could even buy hallmark cards for that much, and hallmark doesn't sell a 'Santa vs. Jesus' card.

 

[Mattchew]

Finally, finally, finally.

I just completed the first of my x-mas cards. I probably have about 2 more hours and they'll all be done. Then I have to actaully write messages in them.

Anyway, here is the final product. You can pull the side-tabs back and forth to watch these two arm wrestle...

As always, let me know what you think.
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[Asteroid-Man]

Now thats just plain Blasphemus

 

[Dr.Doom]

where's jesus' other arm

 

[Mattchew]

where's jesus' other arm

In the narrative of my x-mas card, Jesus lost his other arm in the Great Robot-War of 2037...

Actually, its because i drew an extra arm for Jesus behind him (in other words his extra arm was the same arm, by design, that he had to be arm wrestling with) so @ the 11th hour when I was getting the color copies made, I just cut off the extra arm and thought 'meh. nobody will notice... they're gonna be focused on the fact that I made a card that depicts santa arm wrestling jesus.' I guess I was very very wrong.

 

[Mattchew]

Now thats just plain Blasphemus

thanks. I was aiming for social commentary, but if the result was just plain blasphemy, I still think I must have been doing something right. happy holidays.

 

[blksuperman2]

LOL. That's funny. Impressive too.