They turned Transformers into a movie franchise; they turned Land of the Lost into a movie; they're turning Thundercats, Where's Waldo? and Stretch Armstrong into movies. Clearly, these things are just going to keep happening. Every single thing you remember from a past decade will be announced as a movie sooner or later. Slap wraps will be a movie. Girl Talk: The Next Zit Sticker will be a movie. Crystal Pepsi will be a movie. And you know what? I surrender! We might as well start preemptively embracing these things and hoping for the best before they're announced -- it lessens the blow that way. Here are five kid's shows you liked when you were younger that will inevitably be adapted into live action films, as well as some casting suggestions that we can hopefully all live with.
Hey Dude
Think about it: A hammy slapstick Western starring Shia LaBeouf as Ted, Alison Lohman as Melody, Brittany Snow as rich ***** Brad, Taylor Lautner as Hopi Indian Danny Lightfoot, Jay Baruchel as geeky Jake and HRG as Mr. Ernst. Just please keep Miley Cyrus away from it, and you've got my 12 bucks, Hollywood.
She-Ra: Princess of Power
Scarlett Johansson has the look, but Summer Glau has the talent to elevate action material. Throw in some Alexander Skarsgård as He-Man action, and Zeljko Ivanek as Skeletor and we might be able to deal with a She-Ra movie under the proper direction. Maybe J.J. Abrams? He likes reboots, pretty colors and badass ladies.
Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
It's actually always surprised me that no one has talked Angelina Jolie into being Carmen Sandiego for a paycheck yet. Love her or hate her, girl can work a trench. The movie will probably be some sort of cross with Spy Kids, where perhaps a family of geographically knowledgeable bounty hunters track her across the world after she steals like the Sphinx or Eiffel Tower or something. Actually, they may want to reduce the scale of her thievery to art or jewels for a more believable movie. Just a suggestion.
The Magic Schoolbus
The potential for a CG eyegasm here is tremendous, and we finally have the technology! Yay, the future is now! Jane Lynch will play Ms. Frizzle (previously voiced by Lily Tomlin in the cartoon series), Abigail Breslin will play bookworm Dorothy Ann, Jamie from One Tree Hill will play the field trip-hating Arnold and Wanda Sykes will voice the class pet lizard Liz. It's mostly just an opportunity to see some CGI guts somewhere other than House.
Jem and The Holograms
This one definitely will happen. No joke. We all know it. It's going to hurt at first, but Josie and The Pussycats was an okay movie, even though it had Tara Reid in it, and there's no reason this one can't be as well. Leighton Meester can sing her own songs and look fierce as the titular Jem, backed by Holograms Amanda Seyfried, Emma Stone and Kristin Bell, squaring off against the evil Misfits: Megan Fox, Kristen Stewart, Ellen Page and Avril Lavigne, with Zac Efron as that two-timer Rio and Debbie Harry as Synergy. Now try getting the theme song out of your head. I can't. Stop. Singing.
Thoughts? Any enraged Voltron fans out there? Spill in the comments.
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