Mr. T Likes The Double-Shot Espresso
November 2nd, 2005
It was a day that will live in infamy, forever.
I was literally three minutes from my house when I decided that the best possible course of action for me and my creative lunchtime curse of MSG-fatigue (without eating any MSG of course) would be a trip to the local Starbucks Coffee where I could grab a drink that was as far from the original invention of coffee as it could ever be. You know, something with foam and sugar and chocolate covered coffee beans and fruit sorbet and the whole kitchen sink. I would walk right in there and sidle up to the counter and order my candy-coated coffee drink with enthusiasm.
That is, of course, until I saw
him.
If youre a child of the 80s, you are probably extremely familiar with Mr. T. From his role as Clubber Lang in the hit boxing flick
Rocky III or his role as the curmudgeony B. A. Baracus from TVs
The A-Team this is the guy who made the mohawk famous along with his trademark phrase,
I Pity The Fool!
Well
Mr. T was standing right in front of me in line.
It was then that I tuned my eavesdropping ears into the conversation in front of me, in which Mr. T picked out two chocolate covered graham crackers (for dipping) and ordered a double-shot espresso. Yes, thats right Mr. T, a guy with more energy and moxie than the entire city of Los Angeles, was ordering up additional adrenaline in the form of a dark, thick liquid. It was awesome.
And I had to say something or else Id regret it.
I waited long enough for him and I to clear the counter and the ordering scenario before I placed myself right in front of him:
Me:
Hi, Mr. T.
Mr. T looked at me and you could see it in his face. Anyone who calls him Mr. T and not by his real name must have questions about his career, his relationship with Sly Stallone, his time on The A-Team
He was cautious, and for good reason.
Mr. T:
Hey.
He turned back away from me, waiting for his double-shot espresso.
Me:
Uh, Mr. T? Can I ask you a question?
He turned back towards me, cautious.
Mr. T:
Yeah, yeah. What is your question?
It was a question that I had wanted to ask since, well
forever.
Me:
Do you still pity the fool? I mean, or was that just an 80s thing or something?
[A beat.]
Mr. T:
Do I still
what?
Me:
You know
do you still pity the fool? Like you used to pity those fools in the 80s? I mean, you went around all over the place and on the TV pitying the fools but then suddenly you just stopped saying it
but people sometimes stop saying trademark phrases theyre known for but still
you know
still think it, or hold those kind of ideas close to them
Mr. T:
Youre kidding me
right?
I wasnt.
Me:
No, well
No.
By that point, Mr. Ts double-shot espresso was ready and they called him but not by the Mr. T name but by another name altogether. It was a startling, weird moment as he glared at me, then picked up his energy elixir. It was then, coffee in hand, that he swung back around face to face.
Mr. T:
I pity the fool who has to ask me if I still pity the fool.
It was the coolest thing Mr. T could have ever said to me. And it convinced me, that yes, even though someone stops pitying a fool in public doesnt mean theyve stopped pitying fools altogether. Mr. T proved that to me along with one very important detail
Mr. T likes the double-shot espresso.
