My Tribute to AL BUNDY

The Man, they Myth, The Legend. My Hero.

 

that was the episode his barber died and he refused to get his hair cut by anyone else.

Just classic.

 

bundy-ism.....

• Once my kids are gone, I can finally do everything a man is supposed to do. I can watch TV, I can...well, I dunno, but it doesn't matter. It's better than having a screaming, crapping, money-sucking lttle vampire, bobsleddin gme to the cemetery. God, I feel good.

• There are no tri-mesters. There's actually just one long forty year-mester. It just seems less painful if you break it into stages. There's the fat stage, the „I'll only eat ribs from one place a hundred miles away“ stage, and, Lord in heaven, the horny stage.

• Dad had one great dream, a dream that had been handed down from generation to generation of male Bundys. To build their own room and live separately from their wives. Sadly, they all failed.

• Well, according to my research, the cost of raising a baby from birth to college is approximately seven hundred and eighty thousand dollars. Thanks to my actually selling a shoe last week, I'm proud to say we're now just short seven hundred eighty thousand dollars. Thank you.

• You know what I would do if I was President? I'd take a big empty state, that nobody's using, y'know, like Idaho, and I'd pack every pregnant woman in the country into donut trucks, and convoy 'em all to Boise. And since Idaho means nothing anyhow, I'd change the name to Preg-naho.

• Kelly, when I was a kid, there were lots of parties I wasn't invited to...I showed up anyway. I stood there with a big smile on my face, and said, „I'm here!“ and headed right for the food. Sure, they didn't want me there, but I had a great time. And if they didn't, so what? The point is if you want to be there, be there. Even if they hate you. You're a Bundy. Start acting like one.

• All right, all right. I said I was going, and I'm going. But let me tell you something. I'm not gonna just disappear. You'll see me again. Wherever a woman shoves a smelly foot in some poor guy's face, I'll be there. Whenever someone tries to return a shoe they've been wearing for three months, I'll be there. And whenever kids come into a store and leave their old shoes here and sneak out wearing new ones, I'll be there, too. And madam, when Shamu needs a mate, you'll be there.

• Look, Steve. Why don't you do this? Go home, wake up Marcy and say, „Hey, I lost my money. I screwed up, it won't happen again, and what's for supper?“ That's what being a man is all about, Steve. Making mistakes and not caring.

• Son, let this be a lesson to you. Never do tequila shooters within a country mile of a marriage chapel.

• (addressing Peggy) There's nothing left to do but pick out the dress you're gonna wear when Dan Rather asks you why your son shot the President.

• Those articles that say married couples have sex every month are just sensationalistic lies perpetrated on the public to sell magazines. It's hooey, I tell you, hooey.

• I'm tracking down Seven's real parents. Nobody sticks Al Bundy with unwanted kids except his wife.

• Ah, Peg. You're down here. Damn. Then I was dreaming you ran off with the dwarf down at the bookstore, and I was living in sin with a Playboy centerfold and her eight friends who could speak but chose not to.

• We're gonna go where people pretend to want to go when they can't afford to go someplace good. We're gonna see America. We take no map. We'll follow the sun. Stay in cheap motels and steal what we need along the way. We go west, past the cheese factories, where the air is fresh, the sky is big, and a man can still kill his dinner with his car. Guys, tomorrow we put the pedal to the metal and we ride with the wind.

• Everybody, I have an announcement. Your happiness...sickens me. Everybody but me is looking at good times. But for me it's been one long continuous year since I got married. Actually, one long month. Helluary.

 

here's Kelly in her Prime.

 

I love this episode.. especially when Pauly Shore tells al he made another "burger *****".

I need to buy seasons 3 and 4 on DVD.