Only Children

[Lunar_Wolf]

I misread this as oily children, I didn't know what the **** you were on.

But I have one younger sister and I have always wondered what it would be like to have flown solo all those years.

Hahahaha!

 

[ComicChick]

I suppose it depends on the family you have. If you have a nice support system, a larger extended family, and so on, sure.

Although I have a HUGE extended family, most of them are waaaaay older than me (my oldest cousin is 91), to waaaaay younger than me (9), and we live five hours from the closest relatives. I have no one my own age. The closest person in age is actually my sister, who is nearly six years younger than me. I'm glad I have her, because eventually, most of my extended family will pass long before I do, and when they're gone and my parents are gone, I'll really only have Sis and her little girl.

So I'm glad that I have a sibling to grow old with. I suppose if I ever find a mate, I could grow old with them, but at the moment, it looks like I'm destined to be the spinster auntie.

except for the little sister, and my oldest relative being 96, i think we are the same person

 

[Ash J. Williams]

Yeah, I'm an only child and I turned out OK. I stand out amongst my friends since I don't have siblings like they do, but whatever. Sometimes I prefer being alone so I can have peace and quiet and do what I need to do even though I do feel lonely sometimes. I have a half-brother, but I don't really consider him a sibling.

 

[Shinizokonai]

I'm an only child and I'm fine. I had plenty of cousins the same age as me and lots of friends who lived on my block so I was never lonely.

I do think being an only child can makes you more comfortable in your own company but on the flip side it can make some people a little ego-centric and self centred.

Being an only child I usually always got what I wanted because my parents didn't have to spread their income around of other children so I was a little spoilt.

Getting what I wanted as a kid actually made me less greedy and materialistic than many other people I grew up with. When you get what you want material objects tend too lose their value.

I am pretty much the same as this. Only child, quite spoiled and coddled by my mother (who practically raised me being a single parent, albeit with support from her mother), yet I had lots of interaction with my 4 cousins. Family used to be deeply important to me.

I'm an only child.

It's pretty awesome. I had a Nintendo and never had to give someone else a turn. Unlimited Nintendo.

I'm very introverted. I love my alone time. I can't say I'm socially awkward though. I was raised to respect others and always be polite and courteous.

But it's like I start the day with a little social bar. Whomever I interact with it fills up. Mine fills up much quicker and easier than others though. And when it fills...that's when I need my quiet alone time to read, draw, create etc..

I was diagnosed with a mild form of autism, and my mother put in a lot of work to teach me the appropriate social skills for as far as I could in those first couple of difficult years, and was likewise taught respect for others and politeness.
I recognize a lot of what you're saying in that final paragraph. I'm probably more introverted, and presently don't have a social circle to speak of- but I do get out from time to time to be 'among the people' in settings that relate to my hobbies and interests, like hiking, film festivals, seminars, and the like. But pretty often, I need to load up on my 'me time' and just be closed off from the world for a spell.

I also agree with giveyourself12% on rethinking one's planning to have children when you don't think of yourself as being 'good with kids'. I don't think you should make it a 'compromise'; if you're gonna be a parent, you'd better be prepared to give your all and everything for the kid(s) you are bringing into this world.

 

[Gr0oT]

I'm an only child but from a split family so that could have changed things.

Anyways I never was properly socialized. I became very introverted because I didn't know how to interact with others.

I grew feeling very lonely and never had anyone to share my feelings or my fears to. I had no one to look up to nor anyone to protect.

Personally I feel that I might be a more well rounded person if I had siblings, then again I've known many with siblings that feel they'd been better off without them.

 

[Tempest]

except for the little sister, and my oldest relative being 96, i think we are the same person

Maybe we are.

Also, I look at posts where people say they have half-siblings or step-relatives, and it makes me so sad that they don't feel close to them.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

I was an only child until I was 15 when my half-sister was born so I can say I was raised as an only child. Since my dad was the one who had my sister and I only saw him every other weekend I didn't have a lot of time to bond with my sister plus the age gap and all that. I learned how to amuse myself and have fun by myself at an early age. I think this is a good thing since I am comfortable being by myself and don't feel I need to be in a relationship just to have companionship like a lot of other folks I see doing. I have always been an outgoing person with an introvert side so I'm not your typical mousey weird quiet guy. It was awesome growing up since my parents were never together since I was born and I always got 2 birthdays and 2 Christmas' etc. Plus my dad was pilot for a major airline and had tons of cash to burn so you could so I was pretty spoiled.

 

[ComicChick]

Maybe we are.

Also, I look at posts where people say they have half-siblings or step-relatives, and it makes me so sad that they don't feel close to them.

my siblings are 50, 49 and 43. i'm 29. so we've sadly never been too close. i'm closer to my brother (the other youngest) as we grew up in the same house,and he lived with us a long time (too long lol), but the 15 year gap was big. i grew up closer to my neices and nephews more than anything but there was still a gap as my oldest sisters kids were a few years older than me, and my other sisters a few years younger.

i kinda do feel like i grew up an only child, and i do have some loner/introverted qualities. i'm very very ok with spending time alone and don't mind it. i can go hours without speaking, no radio or tv on, and be completely content. in some ways i'm very social, in others i'm very socially awkward. eh not really sure that has anything to do with it though. might just be me haha

 

[John McGuirk]

I was discussing with my girlfriend yesterday how many kids we would want. She wants two and I would prefer one. (I'm not big on kids, but I am willing to compromise with her someday.) She and her mother say that only kids are weird and need siblings. I say they get plenty of social interaction with their parents, cousins, classmates and friends.

What do you think? Any only children here?

As an only child, I strongly disagree with your GF/GF's mom's' stance. It's ignorant for the most part.

To be honest, it's all about how you are raised.

 

[Prison Mike]

I always thought...if you can afford more than one then why not? If not, then one child is good too.

 

[Farren]

Well from my perspective as an only child, it's the people from the multi-child households that are the weirdos. But given that our society seems to mesh better with extroverted socially skilled individuals, it would probably give your child a developmental advantage if they had a sibling. So go with two.

 

[Hobgoblin]

As an only child, I strongly disagree with your GF/GF's mom's' stance. It's ignorant for the most part.

To be honest, it's all about how you are raised.

Much as I love my gf, she and her family do say some ignorant things.

I did talk to her about my concerns and she told me I worry too much. She thinks I would make a great father but she also said that she doesn't absolutely need to have kids either. She just wants to keep me. That would be great, as long as she doesn't hold it against me later. She is only 24 years old now, what will she feel about motherhood once her biological clock starts ticking?

Then again, this is what she means when she says I think and worry too much.

 

[terry78]

Between the ages of 13-29, women say a lot of stuff they don't mean.

 

[jaqua99]

here's something no one here probably knows.

I'm a twin

 

[jaqua99]

Between the ages of 13-29, women say a lot of stuff they don't mean.

This

 

[Pfeiffer-Pfan]

It's awesome being an only child up until the age of 13, but then you're dying for a sibling of some sort just to take all the attention/pressure of you a little bit. Your parents experience everything for the first time with you and therefore they tend to wrap you in cotton wool (for lack of a better expression).

I was definitely an introverted child, which has carried over somewhat into my adult life. As an only child, I was often forced to entertain myself and delve into my own imagination more. As with anything there are positives and negatives to that.

Be a good parent, encouarge confidence and social interaction and I don't think it would be a major problem.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Between the ages of 13-129, women say a lot of stuff they don't mean.

Fixed. t:

 

[giveyourself12%]

She wants two

she also said that she doesn't absolutely need to have kids

She spent time considering and discussing with you the exact number of kids she would want but that she doesn't absolutely need?

Originally Posted by terry78
Between the ages of 13-129, women say a lot of stuff they don't mean.

Fixed. t:

Amen.

Also,

She just wants to keep me.

...people get all "WE'RE IN LOOOOOVE AND WE "MUST NEVVERRRR BREAKKK UPPPPPP NO MATTTTTER WHATTTTT!!!!!" when they're in relationships.

Here's the scenario: She's waiting for you to change your mind. If you don't, and don't end up breaking up, you will be the recipient of a happy surprise somewhere down the road.

"Oh honey, since we already had the one...."

"Shucks...ok."

"WOW!! Two kids like I originally wanted!! Who would have thought?!"




If this thread's still here in a few years' time, let's check back....

 

[Hobgoblin]

I plan on getting snipped, so dont worry.

 

[giveyourself12%]

I plan on getting snipped, so dont worry.

Good man.

 

[O_B_Juan]

I'm an only child and it feels awesome till you reach 8 (or 10) after that ... it feels annoying when you are lonely.

As the parent of an only child I see my 8 year old daughter going through this now.

 

[Schlosser85]

Now I'm wondering if being an only child is a psychological root cause for A) my social anxiety, and B) my tendency to manufacture or involve myself in drama (more so online) to feel included and important.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Now I'm wondering if being an only child is a psychological root cause for A) my social anxiety, and B) my tendency to manufacture or involve myself in drama (more so online) to feel included and important.

I don't know about A), but as for B), you do remember that you're gay, right? t:

 

[terry78]

You and your G-Word privilges.

 

[jthom19802]

I took some liberties (hope that's okay SHH-ers) and copy/pasted parts of some comments here, as I felt the sum described me pretty perfectly:

"I do think being an only child can makes you more comfortable in your own company. I'm very introverted. I love my alone time. I can't say I'm socially awkward though. I was raised to respect others and always be polite and courteous. But it's like I start the day with a little social bar. Whomever I interact with, it fills up. Mine fills up much quicker and easier than others though. And when it fills...that's when I need my quiet alone time; I'm an only child and I turned out OK. I stand out amongst my friends since I don't have siblings like they do, but whatever. Sometimes I prefer being alone so I can have peace and quiet and do what I want to do. I learned how to amuse myself and have fun by myself at an early age. I think this is a good thing since I am comfortable being by myself and don't feel I need to be in a relationship just to have companionship like a lot of other folks I see doing. I have always been an outgoing person with an introvert side so I'm not your typical mousey weird quiet guy. From my perspective as an only child, it's the people from the multi-child households that are the weirdos. But given that our society seems to mesh better with extroverted socially skilled individuals, it would probably give a child a developmental advantage if they had a sibling."