Post Here To Find Out What Your Totem Is

[ShadowBoxing]

Uh...sure Jag, tell me what my Totem is.

 

[caretaker14]

Oh mighty Jag, what is my totem?

 

[Warhammer]

What am I, jag?!
What is my totem?

 

[Arkady Rossovich]

What am i?Who am i?

 

[Superman79]

Superman79, The Spirit laments for your existence for it is at once noble but saddening. Your totem is the brahma bull:

You spend an inordinate amount of time with a leather thong cinched tightly around your testicles while men in cowboy hats get on your back to see how long they can stay on. You despise them and will kill them given the chance. People pay money to watch this. You are strong. Almost indestructible. You prefer bigger women who can bear your weight and prefer a peaceful existence in an open, expansive range. Life would be simple and beautiful for you if it weren't for the aforementioned men in cowboy hats. You have a big hump on your back but no one seems to mind much.

jag

Wow. Almost dead on except for the hump part...
(and I must say I do like my women busty ...think Lindsay Lohan pre-cocaine/anorexia/WTF else...)

 

[Bill]

Whenever you get the chance man.

 

[Sebastos]

I'll give this a shot, what's my totem?

 

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

Well jag already owns three of my souls so why the hell not. Who do I have to kill to get this exclusive deal?

 

[DarthRekal]

Yay for totems!

 

[jaguarr]

I'll do some more of these tomorrow, folks.

jag

 

[X-Chick]

X-Chick, from the thunderous clouds above, The Spirits have deigned that I tell you your totem is the swan:

You were a horrid looking child, but have somehow grown up to be a woman of grace and beauty, despite your large nose. Many cultures have worshiped and revered you throughout time, honoring your deep spirituality and soulfulness. You are very proud of your plumage and often put it on grandiose display even when it is highly inappropriate. As with most swans, you will mate for life and probably force your mate to watch your children most of the time.

jag

Hmm....let's see...I was really cute when I was little, then went through a drawn out "ugly phase." I didn't get attractive until high school or after, so yeah, that's right. And I do think I have a big nose. I am pretty cocky, but I highly doubt I'll leave my husband to watch the kids most of the time. I'd be too afraid they would act like him.

So overall....not bad. Of course, some Native Americans once told me I had a totem and it wasn't a swan.

 

[Kritish]

Dare I ask what mine is?

 

[X-Chick]

Dare I ask what mine is?

Yours is obviously a toad.

 

[Honey Vibe]

Jag, take me

 

[Kritish]

Yours is obviously a toad.

Better than what I thought it would be, I was thinking it was going to be a roach.

 

[Honey Vibe]

Yours is obviously a toad.

*high five* t:

 

[imaperson2]

*prays to the almighty jag* what am I good fellow?

 

[Speedball]

What's my totem, Jag?

 

[X-Chick]

Better than what I thought it would be, I was thinking it was going to be a roach.

It would have been if I would have thought of it sooner.

*high five* t:

lol. t:

 

[bored]

What am I, Jag?

 

[R0rschach]

R0rschach, The Spirits send you a message that your totem is the cuttlefish:

You are highly intelligent, but you have no spine. You often emit an inky substance. This frightens and alienates people. You have an incredible talent of blending in with your surroundings so that you can hide from predators or strike out at your prey from the shadows. You have very keen eyesight and possess three hearts, which makes you highly resilient with cruel women who might try to break your heart since you'll always have two in reserve. Your natural enemy are the Japanese, who want to eat you with wasabi.

jag

That shyte is so true. t:

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

Lightning Strykez, The Spirits have blessed you this day with news of your totem, the otter:

Playful and curious, you love to explore things most do not, sometimes at your own risk. You have a mercury fast metabolism, requiring you to eat often. You love seafood and often crack open mollusks on your own chest. You're inventive in using objects as tools, such as rocks and sticks and if there is a waterpark with slides nearby you are there whenever it is possible. Otters are ****s and will mate with many of their kind throughout their lives. They're perfectly fine with this fact and revel in it. Otters love what they are and don't give a damn what anyone may think of them. Your natural enemy is the alligator.

jag

Hahahaha! I'm a ****! t:













































Wait. I keep hearing this.

 

[Ahura Mazda]

I will post to see what my totem is.

 

[redmarvel]

A totem is a symbol of that which you are most tied directly to in the natural world. It's characteristics, strengths and weaknesses define you and the totem itself serves as a natural guardian for you. Totems can be animals, plants, or other natural object. Many, many moons ago, A Sioux Shaman saw the jaguar within me and connected our consciousness together. When he did this, he also bequeathed me with the great powah to see other people's totems. Now, I bring this great powah to you, the masses. For the low, low price of your soul after you die, I will tell you what your totem is and what that means. I will do this only for as long as it entertains me, so hurry and act now! The first ten callers will also receive a pair of Ginshoe knives. They're the knives that you can wear like a shoe!

*Disclaimer: Anyone injured, maimed, killed or otherwise offended by any content in this post or any subsequent posts by this author should seek counseling on their own dime or just blend in with the dirt. These posts may cause vertigo, delerium, headaches, stretch marks, gender confusion, crows feet, back acne, elevated blood pressure and/or trichotillomania. Warning: do NOT taunt this post. If it begins to glow, vibrate and shake, run away. The author is not responsible for any injuries or traumas sustained by the reader while reading this post.

jag

ummm.... I've already promised my soul to someone else... what other price can I pay to satisfy my insatiable curiosity... ?

 

[Mr. Credible]

aw, i want one!