Pregnency Question

[triplefive]

lol, wrong.

seriously. been there -- never, ever want to go through that again.

 

[Kyalesyin]

seriously. been there -- never, ever want to go through that again.

Still better for you than just the pill, or indeed 'lets play our luck!'

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

:fans self:

She hops on and I sit on the washing machine and we calmly wait for orgasm.

 

[triplefive]

Still better for you than just the pill, or indeed 'lets play our luck!'

anything is better than "let's play our luck!"

but just, due to my very personal experience, i would not rely solely on a condom for birth control.

certainly, people should always use them if they're not in a monogamous relationship in which both parties' sexual histories check out... but condoms are definitely not failsafe.


eta: just realized how this sounds, so for clarification: i was lucky, i didn't get pregnant.

 

[Crazy Venom]

well, she took the test this morning and she is indeed pregnent....

 

[Erzengel]

So I guess congratulations are in order.

 

[Crazy Venom]

So I guess congratulations are in order.

don't know what we are going to do.... right now, I just graduated college, and am working at a entry level, so i don't make decent money yet.... I'm 23, and honestly, I'm not mature enough to handle raising a child.

 

[Canadian Rider]

Pregnant.

Now what?

 

[Lurk]

How did she take the news? It seems strange that she'd be upset when you brought her a pregnancy test (post #70).

 

[jaguarr]

well, she took the test this morning and she is indeed pregnent....

Was the test one you bought for her? If that came out positive, she needs to get in and get the appropriate tests done with her doctor to truly confirm. Those store bought tests are usually right, but occassionally they have a misreading. She'll want to connect with her doc on this, anyway, though.

jag

 

[jaguarr]

don't know what we are going to do.... right now, I just graduated college, and am working at a entry level, so i don't make decent money yet.... I'm 23, and honestly, I'm not mature enough to handle raising a child.

One thing young couples in your situation who really aren't ready to have a family have done is to put the baby up for adoption prior to delivery and found a good, loving family who is ready and prepared to have a child. Your fiancee' most likely would never go for that, I'm guessing, but it is an option that is available to you.

jag

 

[redmarvel]

how old is she? You didnt slap the sheeeit outta her and her man the first time?

They were married... what kind of sister would I be if I did that?

 

[redmarvel]

don't know what we are going to do.... right now, I just graduated college, and am working at a entry level, so i don't make decent money yet.... I'm 23, and honestly, I'm not mature enough to handle raising a child.

Well you have a few choices.

1. Do the "right" thing, get married and raise the child to the best of your ability.
2. Don't get married but help her support the child.
3. Put the child up for adoption (but this will ruin your relationship)
4. Encourage her to have an abortion (but this will ruin your relationship)
5. Take off, disclaiming any and all responsibility.

 

[Canadian Rider]

don't know what we are going to do.... right now, I just graduated college, and am working at a entry level, so i don't make decent money yet.... I'm 23, and honestly, I'm not mature enough to handle raising a child.

Wow. That is pretty honest. I wonder why people feel they are responsible enough to handle sex but not the consequences. The same with those who drink too much, then drive.

We all have choices to make and know you and your GF have some very tough and life changing things you need to face. As suggested adoption is a very viable way to approach this.

You may be surprised by what she wants to do now, but definitely she needs to get into the Doctor and see how she and her baby are doing.

My prayers are with you and her at this time brother.

 

[Canadian Rider]

Well you have a few choices.

1. Do the "right" thing, get married and raise the child to the best of your ability.
2. Don't get married but help her support the child.
3. Put the child up for adoption (but this will ruin your relationship)
4. Encourage her to have an abortion (but this will ruin your relationship)
5. Take off, disclaiming any and all responsibility.

Query -- does number 5 not ruin the relationship? Just curious.

He doesn't have a choice with number 2. If it is his, he has to pay child support. He also need to find out if she wants him in her life.

There is a court case pending right now where a woman got pregnant even though the BF did not want a child. She did so by not taking her BC pills. Sounds strangely familiar ...

 

[redmarvel]

Query -- does number 5 not ruin the relationship? Just curious.

He doesn't have a choice with number 2. If it is his, he has to pay child support. He also need to find out if she wants him in her life.

There is a court case pending right now where a woman got pregnant even though the BF did not want a child. She did so by not taking her BC pills. Sounds strangely familiar ...

If he goes with option 5, there's nothing to ruin because he really wasn't concerned about the relationship and it was toast anyways.

As far as option 2 goes, willingly paying child support and being ordered to do so by a court of law are two very different things. Even though some folks have been ordered to pay child support, you'ld be amazed at how many do not do so. Also, there is more to supporting a child than just the money. There is also a "time" component, spending time with the child, letting her have a break now and again.

 

[jaguarr]

Well you have a few choices.

1. Do the "right" thing, get married and raise the child to the best of your ability.
2. Don't get married but help her support the child.
3. Put the child up for adoption (but this will ruin your relationship)
4. Encourage her to have an abortion (but this will ruin your relationship)
5. Take off, disclaiming any and all responsibility.

You say some of these things will ruin their relationship with absolute certainty and that's really not true. It MAY ruin their relationship, it may not. Every couple, their relationship, circumstances, maturity and bond are different. You can't say for sure how they will or will not be impacted by some of these things.

jag

 

[Canadian Rider]

If he goes with option 5, there's nothing to ruin because he really wasn't concerned about the relationship and it was toast anyways.

True enough.

As far as option 2 goes, willingly paying child support and being ordered to do so by a court of law are two very different things. Even though some folks have been ordered to pay child support, you'ld be amazed at how many do not do so. Also, there is more to supporting a child than just the money. There is also a "time" component, spending time with the child, letting her have a break now and again.

Also true. You have refined and broadened/expanded the thought.

 

[redmarvel]

You say some of these things will ruin their relationship with absolute certainty and that's really not true. It MAY ruin their relationship, it may not. Every couple, their relationship, circumstances, maturity and bond are different. You can't say for sure how they will or will not be impacted by some of these things.

jag

Frankly, as far as I know, I don't know anyone who has put a child up for adoption or had an abortion. However, they would have to have a very unusual relationship to be willing to stay together after separating their lives from the life they created together.

 

[mightiest_mortal]

Well you have a few choices.

1. Do the "right" thing, get married and raise the child to the best of your ability.
2. Don't get married but help her support the child.
3. Put the child up for adoption (but this will ruin your relationship)
4. Encourage her to have an abortion (but this will ruin your relationship)
5. Take off, disclaiming any and all responsibility.

Ooh Ooh! Option 5 option 5!

Thats why i never tell people my real name. It makes situations like these so much easier

 

[lars573]

don't know what we are going to do.... right now, I just graduated college, and am working at a entry level, so i don't make decent money yet.... I'm 23, and honestly, I'm not mature enough to handle raising a child.

Nobody ever is. My dad is 52 and has been a father for 25 years, and he still acts like he's 19. He's only just started saying how he has to start saving money for the future. Having seen how all my cousins have handled the whole parenthood thing. The best you can hope for is not unprepared.

Still it seems your still freaking out. Which is fine (I know I would be). Just don't do it for too long. You've graduated uni which means you have good prospects for a career. And thus a good financial situation, better than you might think. It just means you'll have to go without some luxueries till you can get the decent money.

1. Do the "right" thing, get married and raise the child to the best of your ability.
2. Don't get married but help her support the child.

Why do they have to get married ASAP? Marriage certificate has zero bearing on how much of a family you are.

 

[jaguarr]

Frankly, as far as I know, I don't know anyone who has put a child up for adoption or had an abortion. However, they would have to have a very unusual relationship to be willing to stay together after separating their lives from the life they created together.

So, I DO know couples who have done BOTH of those things. Four of them, actually. Only one had marriage problems as a direct result and they sought counselling and worked through it together. The others are still married and happy. *bigI'mnotadoctorbutIplayoneonTVshrug*

jag

 

[redmarvel]

Why do they have to get married ASAP? Marriage certificate has zero bearing on how much of a family you are.

They don't have to. That's what option 2 is for.

 

[AndThePickles]

Not surprised one bit that she's pregnant. Good luck with that.

 

[Superman79]

Well you have a few choices.

1. Do the "right" thing, get married and raise the child to the best of your ability.
2. Don't get married but help her support the child.
3. Put the child up for adoption (but this will ruin your relationship)
4. Encourage her to have an abortion (but this will ruin your relationship)
5. Take off, disclaiming any and all responsibility.

Far as I'm concerned #'s 1-3 are the OONLY options, but then again, this isn't gonna be my kid. Honestly, knowing your a decent guy, CV...if you love her then run with #1 but if not, 3 would likely be the best for the kid (you know happy family with a mommy and a daddy).

I have a friend that has adopted 3 kids with his wife...honestly they are the coolest/kindest/picture perfect family I know...t: