Prehistoric slime spreading across the ocean.

[bored]

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/oceans/la-me-ocean30jul30,0,952130.story


Sounds like something out of a straight-to-video movie, yet it's actually happening. Discuss.

 

[JLBats]

...Symbiote?

 

[bored]

The ocean floor is becoming Venom? Duuuuuude.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

big effing whoopedy-DOO!

"slime is spreading"?

"slime is spreading"?

This is news?

"Prehistoric slime is spreading"?!?

 

[bored]

It's making everyone who comes in contact with it become very sick, if it helps.

 

[JLBats]

The ocean floor is becoming Venom? Duuuuuude.

It could create one of those action figure Venom's.

Come buy new Water Blaster Venom, with Poison Sludge action!

 

[Mr. Credible]

how is that not news? i'd much rather hear something like this than "OMG lance bass is teh Gay!!!?" or "OMG tom cruise did something crazy again!"

at least this is interesting. it sounds like it could be a dangerous thing.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

how is that not news? i'd much rather hear something like this than "OMG lance bass is teh Gay!!!?" or "OMG tom cruise did something crazy again!"

at least this is interesting. it sounds like it could be a dangerous thing.

what If we found that that Prhistoric sludge MADE THEM GAY!
"I was just swimming in the ocean, near the three supermodels I had sex with the night before, when this slime touched my foot, after that I felt fabulous!!! *rainbows*"

 

[Holly Goodhead]

Thanks, I'll watch out for this next time I'm on the ocean floor.

 

[enterthemadness]

I don't find this news to be good news...only one man can stop this madness...CN. Chuck Norris.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

how is that not news? i'd much rather hear something like this than "OMG lance bass is teh Gay!!!?" or "OMG tom cruise did something crazy again!"

at least this is interesting. it sounds like it could be a dangerous thing.

Choose your own adventure, dawg.

 

[dmcnx]

"I was just swimming in the ocean, near the three supermodels I had sex with the night before, when this slime touched my foot, after that I felt fabulous!!! *rainbows*"

Sigged

 

[Mr. Credible]

that's so funny, i was just talking to my gf about those books. i haven't thought about them in years before that.

 

[bored]

Sigged

I almost used that, myself.

 

[Alpha and Omega]

a marine ecologist and paleontologist at the Scripps Institution of Oceanography in La Jolla, says we are witnessing "the rise of slime."

'Rise of the Slime' sounds like a bad sci-fi channel flick.

 

[dmcnx]

I almost used that, myself.

It's the rainbows that does it for me

 

[jaguarr]

It will be interesting to see how this impacts world food supplies, the fishing industry in particular. It sounds like a pretty toxic compound, so it's going to kill fish and impede seafood harvesting efforts. Maybe this is the crap that killed the dinosaurs.

jag

 

[maxwell's demon]

this is not good.

 

[Killgore]

I always cheated at Chose Your Own Adventure. I'd find the ending I liked and read it backwards.

I tried that in real life, but I keep getting stuck at the part where I was reading about prehistoric slime taking over the oceans.

 

[maxwell's demon]

Robert Diaz, a professor at the Virginia Institute of Marine Science, has been tracking the spread of low-oxygen zones. He has determined that the number is nearly doubling every decade, fed by a worldwide cascade of nutrients — or as he puts it, energy. We stoke the ocean with energy streaming off the land, he said, and with no clear pathways up the food chain, this energy fuels an explosion of microbial growth.

These microbes have been barely noticeable for millions of years, tucked away like the pilot light on a gas stove.

"Now," Diaz said, "the stove has been turned on."

....

"Lyngbya has lots of tricks," said scientist Judith O'Neil. "That's why it's been around for 3 billion years."

It can pull nitrogen out of the air and make its own fertilizer. It uses a different spectrum of sunlight than algae do, so it can thrive even in murky waters. Perhaps its most diabolical trick is its ability to feed on itself. When it dies and decays, it releases its own nitrogen and phosphorous into the water, spurring another generation of growth.

"Once it gets going, it's able to sustain itself," O'Neil said.

Ron Johnstone, a University of Queensland researcher, recently experienced Lyngbya's fire. He was studying whether iron and phosphorous in bay sediments contribute to the blooms, and he accidentally came in contact with bits of the weed. He broke out in rashes and boils, and needed a cortisone shot to ease the inflammation.

"It covered my whole chest and neck," he said. "We've just ordered complete containment suits so we can roll in it."

Fishermen say they cannot afford such pricey equipment. Nor would it be practical. For some, the only solution is to turn away from the sea.

Lifelong fisherman Mike Tanner, 50, stays off the water at least four months each year to avoid contact with the weed. It's an agreement he struck with his wife, who was appalled by his blisters and worried about the long-term health consequences.

"When he came home with rash all over his body," Sandra Tanner said, "I said, 'No, you are not going.' We didn't know what was happening to him."

Tanner, a burly, bearded man, is frustrated that he cannot help provide for his family. Gloves and other waterproof gear failed to protect him.

"It's like acid," Tanner said. "I couldn't believe it. It kept pulling the skin off."

Before the Lyngbya outbreak, 40 commercial shrimp trawlers and crab boats worked these waters. Now there are six, and several of them sit idle during fireweed blooms.

"It's the only thing that can beat us," Greg Savige said. "Wind is nothing. Waves, nothing. It's the only thing that can make us stop work. When you've got sores and the skin peels away, what are you going to do?"


. . .


i hate you, bored.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I tried that in real life, but I keep getting stuck at the part where I was reading about prehistoric slime taking over the oceans.

If you decide to call your senator and help to finance the construction of a slime-proof research vessel, go to page 34.

If you decide to sit on your hands and joke around on the internet while the "harmless" slime spreads, go to page 79.

If you decide to buy an AK-47 from Julio and go down to the harbor to shoot the slime, go to page 21.

 

[Demon Within]

Its the blob!

 

[maxwell's demon]

page 79 is a dead end!

 

[maxwell's demon]

so's page 21!


but at least there's a cool illustration there!

 

[Winter Spleen]

I'm moving to Kansas.