SHH! NFL Pick 'Em 2010

[Hush]

Picks are in and I hate that im in 12th when at one point I was in the top 5.

 

[Matt]

Oh J, you're so naive. The Colts are going to wind up winning the weak as hell AFC South which will result in the AP voting Manning as MVP and justifying it by saying, "the injured Colts wouldn't have stood a chance if not for Manning."

 

[Immortalfire]

More lyies and nonsenses from Matty.


(but he's probably right)

 

[Immortalfire]

In the pick 'em league meetings this week, in which we really do nothing, the conversation led to tonight's NFL game, or the Heat/Cavaliers. Wondering which one my ever faithful deputy commissioner would be checking out, I pondered the following interview...

Tonight you my friend, have the opportunity to watch either the Heat/Cavaliers, or the Texans/Eagles. What have you thought about this process?

Well, you know, it's all about entertainment value, and more specifically,what's best for Mister J.

How many people know your decision right now?

Not a damn one. You know how unnecessarily secretive I can be.

One hand or two hands?

I drive with one hand because I let to have one arm kinda leaning out of the window or have a free hand to enjoy my burger or to randomly flip off other drivers as a violate innumerable traffic laws. To hell with 10 to 2 formation.

When did you decide?

Originally, I believe I decided when the NBA schedule was released, but my psychosis weighs on me at times. I can't be really sure of most things unless I write them down. Even then, sometimes I wonder who the hell has been in my apartment or office and left this note. I can't be fully certain I won't respond to this PM again later today. However, in the name of brevity, let's say I decided when the schedule was released. Does that work?

So does the team that you're going to watch tonight, that you'll announce in a few minutes, do they know your decision?

It's possible. I called into the Texans' office earlier this week to pass along my congratulations to Andre Johnson (from The U ) on whipping Cortland Finnegan's ass, but the ****ers wouldn't patch me through to his cell. I cursed a couple of people out, then we had some good times laughing at how big of a baby Vince Young is. I'm near certain that somewhere during my profane tirade, I mentioned what I'd be watching Thursday night. Either that specifically or it was a crass remark about the mother of whoever I was talking to and what she'd likely be doing Thursday night. I can't really recall right now. I also called the Heat offices earlier this week to ask if they knew where I could get a good deal on a Kevlar vest. They spare no expense in the Heat front office and I'm sure they'll be prepared in full for all levels of vitriol and aggressive acts from angry Clevelanders. It's possible I could have made another slip of my viewing intentions during my attempts to sweet-talk Rebecca, the receptionist.

Who in this process, have you taken advice from and who has had the biggest influence?

As if I would ever take advice from anyone or otherwise be influenced. There's been a lot of speculation here and a but, and the end of the day, Mister J has to do what's best for Mister J and there's no one better qualify to act on behalf of Mister than Mister J. Mister J says so.

What was the major factor, the major reason in your decision?

Gee, I didn't write this down, but I'm of the mind currently that it had something to do with Mister J doing what's best for Mister J. Mister J is good about making that a recurring theme in Mister J's decisions.

Do you have any doubts about your decision?

As if.
I'm beyond reproach.

Alright...Mister J, the Hype world wants to know. Texans and Eagles, or LeBron's return to Cleveland: J...what's your decision?

This evening... and, man, this is very tough, I'm going to take my sitting talents to my couch and my viewing talents to in front of my TV (likely with some food, where the aforementioned talents will be joined by my eating talents) and watch the team that people continually cite as playing in South Beach (even though the bloody arena is no where near South Beach) and watch the Miami Heat. That's the conclusion I woke up with this morning. I feel like this gives me the best opportunity to win (the Daily Random Sports Fan Viewing Contest) and win multiple times tonight... if they change it from a daily contest to an hourly one. And not only just to win on Thursday, but to win on any night of the week and I think I can compete down there, err out on my couch.

How do you explain this to the people in Cleveland?

Well, basically, **** 'em. I hope the Heat beats the Cavs' asses and I hope the Dolphins beat the Browns on Sunday. Jersey-burning, sports-inflicted misery-wallowing loons. Of course, that's just for the hucksters that take this stuff too seriously. I wouldn't be opposed to randomly running into a few rational Cleveland fans and talking shop over some glorious hot wings from Hooters, where we could all discuss a true universal sports villain... that no good ass Brittney Favre.

By the way, check with me later. I'm likely to have video of an overly elaborate celebration in my apartment where I preen around and talk about winning the Daily Random Sports Fan Viewing Contest... not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, times.
--------

We thank Mister J for his participation in this interview. His deputy commissioner contract has been extended for another 10 eons.

 

[The Incredible Hulk]

The sad part is that I missed an entire week of picks and I'm still ahead of some of you...

 

[ComicChick]

 

[VampElvis]

The competition is hotter than a Titans/Texans fists of fury deathmatch.

1. Go Web Go, 111 pts
2. Cmill216, 110 pts
3. Mister J, 109 pts
4. NewYorkSpider, 107 pts
5. Immortalfire, 107 pts
6. Dark Donnie, 106 pts
7. Kane52630, 106 pts
8. KBX, 105 pts
9. Matt, 105 pts
10. Poeman, 104 pts
11. Kaleb, 102 pts
12. Hush, 102 pts
13. Alex The Great, 101 pts
14. El Citrus, 101 pts
15. KALEL114, 100 pts
16. vindrow, 100 pts
17. Nell2ThaIzzay, 97 pts
18. cyborg ninja 14, 97 pts
19. The Incredible Hulk, 95 pts
20. Franklin Richards, 95 pts
21. CalebYourMaster, 94 pts
22. ComicChick, 94 pts
23. Venom'sDad, 92 pts

Don't forget this week's Thursday game!

Fire, are ya'll just picking winners or picking against the spread?

 

[Immortalfire]

Winners only. No spread.

 

[Mister J]

Apparently, I missed switching a pick to Buffalo by a few seconds. I got a late and sudden feeling that the Old Dongslinger was going to engage in epic fail today. Alas.

edit: Great. He just got hurt and Jackson's in the game.

 

[Immortalfire]

Oh darn

 

[Alex The Great]

Good thing I picked Buffalo

 

[El_Citrus]

Gimme those 12 points with 2 games left in the week!

 

[Poeman]

Good thing I picked Buffalo

Solid choice

 

[ComicChick]

trying to get into top 20 this week

 

[NewYorkSpider]

Good thing I picked Buffalo

I picked them too. They played absolutely horrible today. Not the same Buffalo team I've watched over the past month.

 

[Hush]

13 Points so far!

 

[Mister J]

I haven't finalized the statistics yet, but I'm 74.8% certain that watching the Ravens flub away the damn game last night inspired more expletives than the ineptitude that was the Dolphins.

 

[Immortalfire]

Peyton had 365 yards and 4 interceptions? Once again, I say he and Jay Cutler have switched teams without anyone knowing.

Though Jay did get sacked 4 times yesterday..

 

[Hush]

I feel like I'm the only one that actually picked Cleveland am I alone?

 

[ComicChick]

Peyton had 365 yards and 4 interceptions? Once again, I say he and Jay Cutler have switched teams without anyone knowing.

Though Jay did get sacked 4 times yesterday..

freaky friday; nfl edition

 

[El_Citrus]

I haven't finalized the statistics yet, but I'm 74.8% certain that watching the Ravens flub away the damn game last night inspired more expletives than the ineptitude that was the Dolphins.

Such a hard fought, defensive game and they give it away. I guess that, no matter how hard you hit him, there's no denying Big Ben (allegedly).

 

[Immortalfire]

Such a hard fought, defensive game and they give it away. I guess that, no matter how hard you hit him, there's no denying Big Ben (allegedly).

*snort*

 

[Immortalfire]

Sorry for the delay folks, but as I was walking to the office to put the standings together, I tripped over Albert Haynesworth's fat ass lying on the ground, and broke my laptop


1. Go Web Go, 124 pts
2. Mister J, 121 pts
3. Cmill216, 121 pts
4. KBX, 119 pts
5. Immortalfire, 119 pts
6. NewYorkSpider, 118 pts
7. Hush, 116 pts
8. Matt, 116 pts
9. Kane52630, 116 pts
10. Dark Donnie, 116 pts
11. El Citrus, 114 pts
12. Poeman, 114 pts
13. vindrow, 112 pts
14. KALEL114, 112 pts
15. Alex The Great, 112 pts
16. Kaleb, 110 pts
17. cyborg ninja 14, 109 pts
18. The Incredible Hulk, 107 pts
19. Nell2ThaIzzay, 107 pts
20. ComicChick, 106 pts
21. CalebYourMaster, 105 pts
22. Franklin Richards, 104 pts
23. Venom'sDad, 103 pts

 

[Mister J]

Stupid Ravens.

 

[The Incredible Hulk]

I've averaged 12 wins a week over the past 4 and still seem to gain no ground