I miss the days when books allowed you to choose your path so I'll let you choose which degrading come-back you'd like:
Option A:
I lay the smack down on the elderly in basketball and rob kids of there money at the blackjack tables, and let's not forget I like to scream racial slurs in poor sections while speeding in my mini-van, if those traits don't make me kick ass, I don't know what does...
Option B:
Pretty sad life to come on a message board and put down some poster's joke thread to feel better about your miserable existance, you are pretty darn awesome
or the classic:
Option C:
You suck, your mom told me she hates you last night... while cleaning my teeth because she's a lovely dentist