Teenage Girls Charged with Felony for Bullying Suicide Victim

[chaseter]

Chaseter, you're missing that they led the girl into self-harming. I don't think it's far to reason that if she had stayed in that school this similarly would have been the outcome (maybe even sadly sooner). Her changing schools was a preventative measure to try to have things get better.

And Teelie, that sounds about right - when Columbine happened that was 1999 and that was the first big event (?) that shook the nation in regards to the disastrous effects bullying can lead to. And that is around the same time as the technological rise. And this all happened BEFORE this technology hooked kids together 24/7 - so, while technology does play a role, it's the environment.

Committing suicide is self harm...I got that. I can't say she would have been saved but I would bet anything social media escalated the time table and the efficacy of what led her to that decision. Whether it would have been prevented by unplugging her so to speak, who knows sadly.

Today it's kids crying over Facebook posts. If I were a parent, I would remove that distraction or severely limit it. I didn't grow up in this new world but my parents had access to my little sis' Facebook and phone records.

 

[Ultimatehero]

I'd say you're looking at three different routes and possible outcomes.

Route 1: She stays IN the same school -> chances of committing suicide earlier.
Route 2: She's taken OUT of the school, but it continues --> she committed suicide.
Route 3: She's taken Out of the school, but social media doesn't continue it -->it's cut off before it can get worse.

Or basically being trapped in the same school as them is the main problem, while social media adds on top of that.

 

[chaseter]

You keep acting like all they ahve to do is take away their computers. All the kids these days have smartphones and stay logged into Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, etc. That's where kids get their social validation and are able to stay in contact with the friends that do care.

What are they supposed to do? Change their number every week? Make a new profile for every social media account? Block people and then have new accounts harass them and strangers? You don't seem to understand the grand scope that this all entails. If they don't have these social outlets then it's just like their parents grounding them forever for something that is being done to themselves. And for the most part I'm willing to bet the parents didn't realize the extent of how far it was being taken.

Most kids just delete the stuff they don't like so if the parent is monitoring the accounts 24/7 they are going to miss it.

Do you have kids right now Chaster?

All of that seems like excuses to me or parents wanting to be friends instead of parents. Hell no to kids. I would rather wait and be financially responsible to bring a child into this world and I am no where near that point or want. I was a child once so I have some experience on how the act.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

My daughter turns 8 this Januray and she has literally Skyped since she was a baby. Her Step-dad is in the Air Force and I was in the Navy. Obviously I couldn't follow him anywhere his career led him every 3 1/2-4 years. My daughter is jsut about as tech savy as me, if she wants to find out something she googles it, if she wants to play games she grabs the Ipad. Obviously she is too young for Facebook or Twitter.

My little sister is 15 and she has an Iphone 4s. Teens are connected to all of their social media and in touch with all of their peers nearly 24/7. You can't limit it anymore, it's ludicrous to think you can and if you do you are punishing them for something that is being done TO THEM. That's preposterous! And you take away their phone than you are effectively limiting how well you can parent because you have no means of contacting them nor them you. And that is the definition of bad parenting. What are they supposed to do buy them a beeper and give them a roll of quarters for the payphones that don't exist?

 

[chaseter]

I'd say you're looking at three different routes and possible outcomes.

Route 1: She's stay IN that same school -> chances of committing suicide earlier increased.
Route 2: She's taken OUT of the school, but it continues --> she committed suicide
Route 3: She's taken Out of the school, but social media doesn't continue it -->it's cut off before it can get worse

Or basically being trapped in the same school as them is the main problem, social media adds on top of that.

It's sad to wonder whether she kept this from her family or the mother ignored it. Tragic in both cases as the outcome remains the same.

 

[chaseter]

My daughter turns 8 this Januray and she has literally Skyped since she was a baby. Her Step-dad is in the Air Force and I was in the Navy. Obviously I couldn't follow him anywhere his career led him every 3 1/2-4 years. My daughter is jsut about as tech savy as me, if she wants to find out something she googles it, if she wants to play games she grabs the Ipad. Obviously she is too young for Facebook or Twitter.

My little sister is 15 and she has an Iphone 4s. Teens are connected to all of their social media and in touch with all of their peers nearly 24/7. You can't limit it anymore, it's ludicrous to think you can and if you do you are punishing them for something that is being done TO THEM. That's preposterous! And you take away their phone than you are effectively limiting how well you can parent because you have no means of contacting them nor them you. And that is the definition of bad parenting. What are they supposed to do buy them a beeper and give them a roll of quarters for the payphones that don't exist?

How did we survive without smart phones only 10 years ago?

Nothing against you or anyone here but 12 year olds with iPhones and a Facebook account with no supervision seems irresponsible to me from an outside viewpoint.

 

[Ultimatehero]

It's sad to wonder whether she kept this from her family or the mother ignored it. Tragic in both cases as the outcome remains the same.

Thinking like a teenager:

The mother saw that her daughter was self-harming and asked her - she had no idea before seeing it (and at this point self-harming has been going on for a while), at which point the girl told her. The mother tried to get things settled with the school, but that never gets anywhere. And she takes her out of the school thinking/hoping that that will stop things. Days pass, it seems like things have stopped, and then the girl gets contacted again. Similarly, she hides it from her mom because she feels embarrassed that it's going on. She blames herself for what's happening. She feels more depressed and withdraws even more, but by this point she's become so good at hiding her feelings that her mother can't tell what's going on. The next morning, the mom finds that she's dead.

/\ Typically how it plays out. Kids hide things, parents find out by visible markings.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

How did we survive without smart phones only 10 years ago?

Because we had regular cell phones?

 

[Teelie]

Even being taken out of school doesn't help when they can and will stalk you across the internet. There have been cases of that kind of harassment resulting in suicide too.

To paraphrase: This isn't your father's kind of bullying anymore.

 

[Ultimatehero]

I'd say watch this film:



One of the subplots deals with cyber-bullying and the effects it can have. Also how parents typically don't know what's going on.

Cyber bullying definitely adds to it, but the root is always going to be within the school. Prior to cyberbullying we had teenagers committing suicide and going to school with guns too over instances of bullying. So, the only thing that's really changed is an added dimension and another means that kids can be cruel to each other. You take away this technology, you're still going to have problems.

 

[chaseter]

Because we had regular cell phones?

But no Facebook on it!? How did you check Twitter at school!? What about 10 years before that? Did you have a brick phone texting in the movies? I got my first cell phone at 17. How did I grow up!? Yes time and tech has changed but making it a crux is an excuse.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

And again I want to stress that this happened where I grew up. In Polk county FL. Sheriff Judd Grady is the absolute last person I would ever imagine jumping on the bullying bandwagon since he is about as hardcore a republican as one can get. Not saying that I only think Dems would do something like that but you have no idea how crazy he is.

Case in point when one of the sheriffs got shot and killed a few years ago the culprit was chased into the woods, surrounded, and got brought out with over 100+ gunshot wounds in a body bag. Supposedly he drew on them. That's how ole sheriff Grady gets down

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

But no Facebook on it!? How did you check Twitter at school!? What about 10 years before that? Did you have a brick phone texting in the movies? I got my first cell phone at 17. How did I grow up!? Yes time and tech has changed but making it a crux is an excuse.

Well 10 years ago MySpace was all the rage and I'm sure there was cyber-bullying going down then. And 10 years before that I don't know about you but my mom had me get a beeper and anytime she beeped I had to call back in 10 mins or less or I was in trouble.

I know kids that didn't like me and used to blow up my beeper so even then when a kid is set on ****ing with ya they will find a way.

Times change man and we all have to adapt, the things we used to know and base our experiences on are archaic and antiquated even though it wasn't that long ago to us. As someone without children I doubt you can fully grasp the situation till you are in experiencing it for yourself.

 

[Victarion]

Do you know why it's worse now? The internet. Social media. There is literally no escape from it. 10-15 years ago it wouldn't have been as bad. The internet was still in its infancy and internet bullying was not the behemoth it is today. 20 years ago, it was not this bad. Thinking back to when you were a kid pre-2000 is just not the same as it is now.

You didn't have constant, unending harassment, you didn't have complete strangers egging on the bullying and doing it themselves. There weren't random people telling you to kill yourself. That is today's reality.

I get trolled on a daily basis, and here I am.

 

[Teelie]

And you are special, I guess?

 

[Victarion]

And you are special, I guess?

No, I'm just making a point. The girl's parents needed to take a firmer hand in her online activity. Likewise, the parents for the girls who did the trolling should've paid attention to their kids.

 

[Ultimatehero]

When I was 12 I knew how to erase the internet's history, bypass my parent's passwords on certain things then reset it without them knowing that anything had happened. Kids are smart.

Chances are on many of the things, even if the parents were checking they'd only see 12% if that of what was there. And that's only if they really suspect there's a problem going on - kids can be contemplating suicide or shooting up a school - and just because the kid "appears" happy they think everything is okay until something happens. This is why it's always a surprise.

Parents see what they want to see. They want their kid to be happy and if their kid appears to be happy or just getting by, they won't have a clue. Typically parents' bias comes into play when dealing with their own kids.

 

[Victarion]

For some parents, sure. For other parents, perhaps not. I think that calling these kids killers is out of line; bullies yes, but not killers.

 

[Teelie]

When I was 12 I knew how to erase the internet's history, bypass my parent's passwords on certain things then reset it without them knowing that anything had happened. Kids are smart.

Chances are on many of the things, even if the parents were checking they'd only see 12% if that of what was there. And that's only if they really suspect there's a problem going on - kids can be contemplating suicide or shooting up a school - and just because the kid "appears" happy they think everything is okay until something happens. This is why it's always a surprise.

Parents see what they want to see. They want their kid to be happy and if their kid appears to be happy or just getting by, they won't have a clue. Typically parents' bias comes into play when dealing with their own kids.

^^^
Plus not everyone has the resolve or the mentality to withstand some of the absolute hatred directed at them by others.

I've dealt with bullies offline and online (even after I was no longer in school, we just pretend they stop existing). I was lucky to be able to handle them and to not harm myself.

It's not the same for everyone and not everyone is bullied and harassed as relentlessly as some of these people are who do commit suicide, or kill their tormenters.

You can't say "I did fine" and then assume everyone else will similarly be fine.

 

[Ultimatehero]

I stick by calling these girls killers. Would I say that about somebody who just says a name in passing? No. But, when it gets to harassment of a certain level? Yes. These girls were shouting at an already fragile girl to kill herself than were happy when it happened - they're sociopaths. The only thing distancing these girls from more plain to see killers is that their weapon was more concealed. They knew what they were doing, they had motive, they had the means, they got the intended result.

 

[Teelie]

When you push someone to kill themselves, you might not have directly murdered them but you are still culpable to the act.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

For some parents, sure. For other parents, perhaps not. I think that calling these kids killers is out of line; bullies yes, but not killers.

Police decided to arrest the kids after the older one posted this onto her Facebook page on Saturday: "Yes, I bullied Rebecca and she killed herself and I don’t give a ****."

That is out of the mouth of babes, then when she got called out on it "Oh my account was hacked"

 

[warhorse78]

How did we survive without smart phones only 10 years ago?

Nothing against you or anyone here but 12 year olds with iPhones and a Facebook account with no supervision seems irresponsible to me from an outside viewpoint.

I agree with you here. I'm seeing kids around here acting just fine without their own iphone or ipad. And if they want to use the computer, they have to use the family one in the living room.

I am cold hearted with this, but from the very beginning, my dad always taught me to stand up for myself, and to just ignore the a-holes and morons in life, they'll drag you down and beat you with experience. The first time I was bullied, I was about 8. I came home crying. He enrolled me into a karate class the next day, and then that weekend, we went out on the boat and he gave me the life lesson that people in general are ***** heads, and that it is up to me to grow a hard skin to the verbal abuse, and to take a stand with the physical abuse, and that he was there to back me up every step of the way 100%.

Because of this, I lay the bullying and the suicides to both parties. The parents of the bullies for not doing something about it, and then the parents of the victims, because it's too often that they didn't know about it till it was too late, and that just means that they did not offer a welcoming/open door policy for their own kids to trust and go to for help.

 

[warhorse78]

When I was 12 I knew how to erase the internet's history, bypass my parent's passwords on certain things then reset it without them knowing that anything had happened. Kids are smart.

Chances are on many of the things, even if the parents were checking they'd only see 12% if that of what was there. And that's only if they really suspect there's a problem going on - kids can be contemplating suicide or shooting up a school - and just because the kid "appears" happy they think everything is okay until something happens. This is why it's always a surprise.

Parents see what they want to see. They want their kid to be happy and if their kid appears to be happy or just getting by, they won't have a clue. Typically parents' bias comes into play when dealing with their own kids.

When I was 12, my parents gave me no reason to give them nothing but the utmost respect, and in that, I felt no reason to hide anything from them. I told them everything going on because I knew that they were there for me and would give me good advice on stuff. No matter what, it comes down to the parents.

 

[Ultimatehero]

Dude that is complete bull -. It comes down to the kid. I had the kind of parents that made all of my friends and cousins jealous. You know those perfect idealized parents that all the kids wished they had instead of their own? Yeah. THOSE were my parents. THAT is the family I come from. It's the individual.