Actually I didn't do drugs until I was an adult. When I was a teen I was clean but searched and interrogated because my mom assumed I was using. You say she was doing her job but her treating me like a criminal made me wonder what was the point of being innocent.
With that logic, if you're ever picked up and interrogated for murder you might as well go out and kill someone? After all, you've already gone through the torment!
Yeah I know a parent's job is to keep you in line and mold you into their ideal person and I'm fine with that. What I'm saying is I don't like being kept in line and molded into someone elses ideal person. I prefer the personal freedom to explore life as I see fit without another person micromanaging my decisions.
You contradict yourself one sentence after another? You don't have a problem with your parents molding you into their ideal person, but you have a problem with people molding you into their idea of an ideal person? You're right, it is a parent's job. To keep you safe and teach you right from wrong. Of course they are going to use their ideals to guide those teachings, who's else would they use? They can only use the knowledge they have from growing up themselves. You really would rather them try and mold you based on today's youth's ideals? How would they know what that is?
The fact is that kids in this country don't get any respect.
BS. Kids get respect when they earn it. Plenty do. Those that don't continue to buck the system and whine about how they don't get any respect....but it's respect on "their" terms. Things don't work that way.
They have no ability top choose for themselves. The fact that adults dictating their lives to keep them from doing needlessly destructive things, all that shows is that there is an inherent lack of trust and respect.
So, parents
shouldn't make rules to prevent their children...their offspring, the ones they are supposed to protect, from doing needlessly destructive things? How does that make sense? Give me a few examples of these rules.
The fact is that the only reason most of those kids act out the way they do is because their parents and teachers are doing their best to control every aspect of their lives, so they try and take a stand in the worse ways possible.
That's the only reason? C'mon. Show me the research that proves this. You mean some of this showboating isn't just that...showboating? Some of it isn't showing off for their friends? Some of it isn't kids simply being unreasonable? Again, please list me some of these woefully unfair rules.
As for the convicted criminal thing... that was a slight exaggeration. But only slight. The fact of the matter is that school is a prison. People tell you what to do, when to do it, and what's best for you, often without having ever met you before.
No, it's not a prison. Over dramatic. You can leave if you want to, but there are consequences. So, if schools didn't have these rules (be to class on time, do your homework, don't disrupt class, don't skip class, don't fight, etc.) that kids would be more willing to behave better? I want to live in your utopia, buddy.
Young people's rights and opinions are not respected. They have trouble facing up to responsibility because they're given no real responsibilities. From an early age they're told "no, you can't do that by yourself." And then one day they have to and they have no clue what they're supposed to do. The attitude towards kids in this country is really messed up.
??? Or, perhaps they have trouble facing up to responsibility because they are consistently coddled. People today, not just kids, have a sense of entitlement. Of course, this is passed down to their kids. They believe they have the right to say whatever they want, do whatever they want, talk however they want, regardless of if it relevant, disruptive, or abusive. Anyone who chooses to confront them is then portrayed as being oppressive, disrespectful, restrictive. If you don't get out of the way you are sued, called out on youtube, or your children are taken away. Obviously that's not all cases or is even followed through with, but with kids suing parents for taking away their XBOX anything can happen. Because when a child acts up in school and is threatened with suspension Mom and Dad come running in and throw a fit. The school caves and again, no consequences.
I see a lot of talk around here about how kids aren't being punished enough. How the parents and school systems don't have the disciplinary powers they need. I don't think that's the issue. Spanking a kid isn't going to make them a better person. Yes, there need to be consequences for when they do something wrong. But they also deserve to be treated with respect. They are human beings, after all. And the only way to teach them respect and decency is to show them respect and decency.
What kind of consequences would you suggest? Say, for a 4 year old keeps throwing their toys? Say, for a high school student who constantly mouthes off in class calling the teacher a B***H and such? When a kid walks into a classroom for the first time and starts this kind of crap, the teacher should automatically show them respect? There is a level of respect that all people should be given. The benefit of that doubt that you will be civil. Beyond that, the rest needs to be earned, it's not a given.
The violence, though... that's a minority of the youth in America. Most of that is because of underprivileged, largely minority, youths growing up in ghettos and projects where crime is often an easy substitute for hard work and as a result wanton violence is a constant in their lives, and leaves the impression in some particularly angry and listless youngsters that becoming a bad ass gangster who takes what he wants and lives without rules is a good way to live. And that's a problem in any economically challenged neighborhood, especially if it's populated by a minority with major economic and social disadvantages compared to the majority. That's hardly representative of youth as a whole. Young people who grow up in suburbs or nice urban neighborhoods or rural areas... they have a whole other list of problems. Largely the other things you describe: Lack of discipline, respect, genuine social skills, judgement, or sense of responsibility. Basically being spacey *******s.
That is a unbelievably ignorant statement, borderline racist. It's all inner city, minorities? All gang members? All the suburban kids are just spacey? Show me the statistics. How many of the major school shootings have fit those stereotypes? Please explain the "suburban" gangs we have out here? An anomaly?
I honestly think that the cause of that is not a lack of discipline, it's a lack of respect. More discipline wouldn't make kids any more respectful or socially graceful, it would simply make them more repressed and good at following orders (which is not the same as being a moral or responsible person), and in many cases cause them to lash out and become even more rebellious than before.
BS. It's lack of consequences. People, not just kids, are more often than not given a pass. Everyone is so concerned with not hurting people's feelings, with not getting sued for making someone feel bad, afraid of starting a race riot, afraid of being ridiculed on youtube or facebook, for not doing what Dr. Phil says you should do with your children. I'm not sure what you want to happen. Give me an example of something that you thing was handled badly and how you would rather have it handled?
I think you've got the idea backwards, in a way. You say that kids shouldn't expect to be respected if they don't show respect. That respect and trust are two way streets. That is true. And yet you also seem to ignore that fact. Kids shouldn't expect to be respected or trusted if they do not respect or trust, this is true. But at the same time, adults can't expect to be respected or trusted if they do not show respect or trust. Respect and trust are two way streets. And kids, they're at a disadvantage. Where do you think they learn respect and trust? Do you think it just magically appears. That they should simply be enlightened to the fact that their parents work hard and deserve their respect out of nowhere? Hardly. You learn from your experience. And kids are going to have an incredibly hard time learning to respect and trust others if their parents and other adult figures in their lives never show them respect or trust.
Yes, respect is a two way street. Everyone should get a certain level of respect to start with. To act civil and to be treated civil. The rest is earned. But where does it start? Between a teenager and an adult, why should the teenager have total respect immediately? Parents are there for THEM. To protect them, to teach them, to help them. Teachers are there to teach them, to lead them, to help them learn. If kids want to accept that, they need to show enough respect let the adults do what they are there for. You don't need to learn. You can drop out and live by your own rules. There's your choice.
The next thing your said, about rules, it's a bit of a strawman argument. I never said that there aren't rules outside of school or family households. I never said that schools or family households shouldn't have rules. What I said is that kids don't get respect or anywhere near as much freedom as they deserve. That doesn't say "life without rules." I'm not an anarchist. I believe in democracy. Obviously, there will be things you have to do at any job you take. There are things you have to do in American society. But trying to control how a kid lives their life and expecting them to follow orders without question, this does not prepare them for the future.
Please provide examples of rules that are unreasonably restricting the freedom of kids today.
You then say that you can't expect kids to choose for themselves because that way lies chaos. That, that is really condescending. Kids are smart. Kids are naturally curious. Yes, they need rules of some kind. They need to face consequences for their actions if they **** up. I'm not advocating for the opposite. But kids do deserve respect and as much personal freedom as we allow anyone
Enough freedom that we allow adults? What age should this unfettered freedom be granted? 18? 16? Are parents allowed to put a rule on toddlers from putting their fingers on a hot burner or playing with knives? What about a teenager playing with a loaded weapon? Should parents not limit the amount of time their kids play video games, or how many Twinkies they eat? Should they not prevent their children from playing with matches or taking the car out when they are 13? Should parents not be able to tell their kids that they can't have parties or friends over at 3AM in the morning? What are these rules that have you in such an uproar?
Kids deserve the ability to have an open conversation with their parents.
Agreed.
Kids deserve the right to choose how they spend their time, as long as certain rules to insure that other people's rights are not infringed upon are kept to.
What if a 14 year old decides he wants to stay out till 3AM every night and skip school the next day. He's not really infringing on other people's rights....is that OK? What if a 12 year old wants to drink himself stupid?
You know what they'll learn if they're given more control over their lives? Responsibility.
Really? Or they'll learn that their parents are doormats and will let them do whatever they want. I don't think I've ever met a kid who's parents spoiled them rotten and let them do whatever they wanted who wasn't an arrogant, egocentric jackass.
They'll learn how to take care of themselves. They'll learn what they need to do to get by on a day to day basis, because they won't have mommy or teacher holding their hand.
Well then why even have parents and teachers? If kids can learn all there is to know without the guidance, advice, and rules set by adults in their lives why don't they just move out immediately? Why not just drop out of school?
Yes, kids need guidance. They also need to be listened to. Talked to like people, not lesser beings. And if they want to do something that doesn't hurt anyone else or themselves, they should do it.
How does that prepare them for the real world? When you get a job you're going to have a boss that doesn't give a crap if it's not hurting anyone else. If you're not doing your job you're out on your butt. That Cop isn't going to care that you smoking crack isn't hurting anyone but yourself, you're still going to jail. That judge isn't going to think your mouthing off like you did to your teachers is cute, you're just going to be in contempt of court. Kids need to know that there are consequences to actions, even if you don't think you're hurting someone else.....even if you don't think it's fair.
