TheJusticeLease
Civilian
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- Mar 18, 2013
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“Because sometimes, after a long day of saving the world... the last thing you want to do is take out the recycling bins.”
Don’t let the movies fool you: in the real world, superheroes face the same everyday problems we do. You ever come home at the end of the day after a long day of work, only to be confronted by a sink full of dirty dishes and a passive-aggressive note left by your housemate? Sure you have!
Now imagine that passive aggressive housemate is Superman.
You can’t really blame him though. He used to be cool. In a preppy, boy scout kinda way. But ever since he started sharing a house with Batman, Aquaman and Bruce Banner it really seems like he’s drawn the short straw. Forget Lex Luthor... Superman’s real kryptonite appears to be the crushing weight of domestic obligation – especially when no one else wants to lend a hand! So now, he’s on top of the bills, the laundry, the cleaning – but that leaves him precious little time to do what he’s really good at. Saving the world.
Meanwhile, Batman has been on a bit of a high since the success of the last Batman trilogy, and people really seem to get a kick out of of getting saved by ‘the guy Christian Bale played.’ We’d like to say that Batman hasn’t let fame get to his head, but that would be a massive lie. With criminals following him on twitter and women everywhere lining up to become the next Robin, crime fighting is taking a backseat ride to celebrity. Still, Batman’s not stupid; he knows the good times won’t last forever, especially in this economy. So is it really that bad if he asks the rest of the house to chip in for using the Bat Computer and kitchen appliances? Has no one heard of wear and tear?! Also, he’d prefer it if you stopped calling it the Bat Computer. It’s just a computer, man...
One of Batman’s biggest fans is Aquaman. Resigned to being ineffective at anything super heroic on land – since all of his powers are only effective underwater – he really lives vicariously through Batman. Being in the later stages of depression, he’s lost a lot of his zest for life and has regressed to his teenage years, much to Superman’s chagrin. Would it kill him to help out around the house? All he does is sit on the couch and play Nintendo DS. Or polish his trident. No, that’s not a euphemism...
Bruce Banner? He largely keeps to himself. You won’t catch him playing poker with the rest of the crew. Or leaving the house for that matter. Instead, he stays in his room listening to moody music and studying physics. He doesn’t ask much from the house, apart from complete silence when he’s working. Which is all the time. He’s not pleasant to be around. The other housemates would say something, but, y’know... no one really likes him when he’s angry.
So with all that in mind, Superman has resigned himself to being the world’s mightiest wet blanket. For now. But things will be different in a few months once The Man of Steel comes out. Have you seen the trailer yet?! It’s looking every bit as gritty and angsty as Nolan’s Batman trilogy! Will this be Superman’s chance to reclaim the top spot on the superhero ladder? Will Batman ever commit to one Robin? Will Aquaman ever learn how to use the drier without starting a fire? Will Bruce Banner ever smile at anything?
Don’t let the movies fool you: in the real world, superheroes face the same everyday problems we do. You ever come home at the end of the day after a long day of work, only to be confronted by a sink full of dirty dishes and a passive-aggressive note left by your housemate? Sure you have!
Now imagine that passive aggressive housemate is Superman.
You can’t really blame him though. He used to be cool. In a preppy, boy scout kinda way. But ever since he started sharing a house with Batman, Aquaman and Bruce Banner it really seems like he’s drawn the short straw. Forget Lex Luthor... Superman’s real kryptonite appears to be the crushing weight of domestic obligation – especially when no one else wants to lend a hand! So now, he’s on top of the bills, the laundry, the cleaning – but that leaves him precious little time to do what he’s really good at. Saving the world.
Meanwhile, Batman has been on a bit of a high since the success of the last Batman trilogy, and people really seem to get a kick out of of getting saved by ‘the guy Christian Bale played.’ We’d like to say that Batman hasn’t let fame get to his head, but that would be a massive lie. With criminals following him on twitter and women everywhere lining up to become the next Robin, crime fighting is taking a backseat ride to celebrity. Still, Batman’s not stupid; he knows the good times won’t last forever, especially in this economy. So is it really that bad if he asks the rest of the house to chip in for using the Bat Computer and kitchen appliances? Has no one heard of wear and tear?! Also, he’d prefer it if you stopped calling it the Bat Computer. It’s just a computer, man...
One of Batman’s biggest fans is Aquaman. Resigned to being ineffective at anything super heroic on land – since all of his powers are only effective underwater – he really lives vicariously through Batman. Being in the later stages of depression, he’s lost a lot of his zest for life and has regressed to his teenage years, much to Superman’s chagrin. Would it kill him to help out around the house? All he does is sit on the couch and play Nintendo DS. Or polish his trident. No, that’s not a euphemism...
Bruce Banner? He largely keeps to himself. You won’t catch him playing poker with the rest of the crew. Or leaving the house for that matter. Instead, he stays in his room listening to moody music and studying physics. He doesn’t ask much from the house, apart from complete silence when he’s working. Which is all the time. He’s not pleasant to be around. The other housemates would say something, but, y’know... no one really likes him when he’s angry.
So with all that in mind, Superman has resigned himself to being the world’s mightiest wet blanket. For now. But things will be different in a few months once The Man of Steel comes out. Have you seen the trailer yet?! It’s looking every bit as gritty and angsty as Nolan’s Batman trilogy! Will this be Superman’s chance to reclaim the top spot on the superhero ladder? Will Batman ever commit to one Robin? Will Aquaman ever learn how to use the drier without starting a fire? Will Bruce Banner ever smile at anything?
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