When the lights finally went out and the movie began, I couldn't believe it. All the waiting, all of the anticipation... it was finally over.
I must admit the very first moments of the film during Kal's birth grabbed me but it only took a few minutes before a sinking feeling started to set in. The tone of the movie just felt "off". It felt clunky. The narrative was rushed. The dialogue was hammy. Everyone was overacting. I couldn't believe it. That was the moment I had allowed for the possibility that maybe the critics were right. That maybe this really was going to be a "dumb comic book movie". Maybe the Clark stuff on Earth would be different.
But here we are several minutes later, still on Krypton. Already I was becoming less immersed in the story. I could not believe it. Shannon's Zod was fierce and magnetic but the direction was so off that his performance felt undermined. I was beginning to question Snyder. Then the dialogue got more hammy, and so I questioned Goyer.
Cut to Earth. Finally. The real story can begin. And boy was it underwhelming. Everything felt rushed. Scenes from the trailer were beginning to unfold but unlike in the trailer this time they weren't very effective. It was all show and no feel. It really did feel like a dumb summer movie. The flashbacks into Clark's past didn't resonate. For someone so central to Clark's story, I thought Pa Kent's introduction was a bit anti-climactic... as if the film was saying "Oh and by the way, here's his father".
Lois was introduced and I didn't care. I was sick to my stomach that this was really happening. This was a bad film, and I knew it. Before you know it Clark is in the suit and we're re-introduced to Russell Crowe. Everything was underwhelming. The scene of Clark becoming Superman didn't have nearly as much of the gravitas as the trailer had me believe it would. The flight was indeed a powerful experience to behold visually but there was no emotional weight to it. Snyder REALLY dropped the ball. At this point I had given up on the story and I was just counting down the minutes until the third act so I could at least bare witness to some intense Superman action.
Things happen, characters who nobody gives a s*** about are introduced. Lawrence Fishburn is in the movie for no reason at all. More redundant flashbacks even though Clark's character had already taken it's turn. The movie was genuinely boring me. Zod's arrival pumped some blood back into it... for about five minutes. I began to contemplate whether or not the chick that played Faora had sucked someone off at Warner's to land her role. Yes, she was that bad. More things happen. Superman crosses the army. Blah blah, blah blah. Let's get to it already. My best friend's fiance was literally groaning. I knew she was bored to tears and I couldn't blame her. I'm a die hard Superman fan and even I was checking the time.
The action doesn't let up. It's intense for sure but without the emotional weight behind it, it's forgettable. Even as I type this and try and reflect on specific parts, it all feels like a giant blur. But in the moment? Wow. At least this was pretty awesome. Unimaginative and hollow... but awesome.
And that was pretty much the vibe up until the end of the movie. I'm a huge fan of 3D and yet even the 3D in this movie wasn't great. Actually at times I forgot I was even watching 3D at all. That's how unnoticeable was. Superman's fight with Zod was more over the top than anything I had ever seen and yes... it was awesome. I so, so wished that the rest of this movie had delivered because I probably would have been utterly blown away at this point.
The crowd "oohed" when Superman broke Zod's neck, and it was also the first and only audible reaction the crowd had made during the entire film. Superman's kiss with Lois came so out of nowhere and felt so forced that I thought it almost rivaled the love story in Attack Of The Clones.
Clark becomes a mild mannered reporter, movie ends, lights come up. I turned to my friend and we could see it in each other's faces. It was awful. So, so awful. My exact words after exiting the theater were "Welp, there goes Justice League."
So my friends, there you have it. Just one fan's experience. I am so disappointed I cannot even begin to tell you. I had truly never been more excited for a movie. I wanted it to be great, but I believe the trailers told the story better than the film did.
THE END
