X- men

[Iron kid]

What happened? Am I dead? Those were the 1st words into Cyclops's head. Then pain lanced through his body,answering his question for him. No. Good. Then he felt somethimg on his legs. Something cold. Hard. Like Diamond. Diamond... No... Emma's de... Scott Summers never finished that thought. He too, entersd oblivion.
Cable awoke. His eyes opened 1st, slowly, as if having been asleep for a long time. He tries to get up, but falls back to earth, feeling weak, and dizzy. Then he remembers the past 24 hours. The battle. Magneto's defection. The mainsion. It's destruction. All the deaths...
Kurt Wagner was teleporting across the remains of the mainsion, searching for survivors. So far, he had found the bodies of Cyclops, Emma Frost,and an injured Gambit. For all he knew, Iceman and Pheonix had survived, along with Bishop, Rouge, and Storm.Then he hears a familiar voice. "Nightcrawler!" "Colossus! I see you haff survived as well!" Aye, comrade, but are they're any survivors?" asked Colossus. " Yes, mien fraud, I haff been searching for survivors." You look hurt, you should go to whats left of the medical wing." Nightcrawler continues to teleport across the wrekage. Suddenly, something catches his eye. He stops, and peers down at the ground. He finds the tattered shreds of a special uniform..... ....... his mothers......

and more to come!

 

[Eddie Brock]

If this is a fanfic, it's in the wrong forum.

 

[Iron kid]

more people read this one

 

[Eddie Brock]

more people read this one

By that logic, it should be in the Community Forum...it's going to get moved anyway, so what do I care.

 

[Iron kid]

do you think its good though?

 

[necross20]

It's not bad actually, few spelling mistakes but other than that, not bad

 

[Iron kid]

Angle and beast moved across the battlefeild quickly. Looking at the rubble, beast wonders How could Doom have gathered such a massive force? He is a genius, with an army of robots to aide him, but it dosen't make sense. He is not the kind of man to attack the mainsion unprovoked. Maybe Magneto's defection from the black legion had something to do with it......

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

You will put things in the right forum, regardless of which forum is read more, or I will delete it, entirely.

 

[Iron kid]

I dont know how to change forums

 

[Iron kid]

Angel soared high above his ally, Beast, happy to be so far away from the battlefeild below. They were told telepathically by Cable to report to the remains of the mansion, were all the survivors were found. Doom had attacked lightning fast, and the x-men were slow to react. Magneto lead the counterattack with proffeser x, but the doombots had stormed the mansion, forced the x-men to retreat with miniature nukes, and radiation that could kill a living being in seconds. Magneto destroyed the mansion without thinking,but it destroyed the 1st wave of doombots. He then started a massive defensive with professer x, but it was cut short when what looked like a doomified S.H.I.E.L.D. hellicarrier and was attacking them from the air. Luckily, proffesser x, along with Pheonix,Cable, and Marvel girl, were able to trick Doom's army into thinking they were all dead with their telepathy. No words are spoken between the 2 freinds as they head towards the mansion.

 

[ComicChick]

i skimmed through this because i have to get up in a couple of hours and don't have time to really read through it, but i will tomorrow.

at first glance though, there are some noticable spelling mistakes that you might want to go back and fix.

and i think if you spaced it out better, particularly when dialogue comes to play, it will be more beneficial to you and the readers and it will be much easier to read than one big paragraph.