6 year old suspended for kissing girl on hand.

[Mr.M]

I was bullied by a lot of girls in middle school. Sometimes I wish, in retrospect, had I just kissed them, they would have ran away from me and stopped bullying and teasing me. Instead I would be noticably upset and irritated by their actions, hence the bullying persisted for some time. But I wonder who would have gotten in the most trouble had I done this back then.

 

[Spider-Fan83]

if he got suspended either way, it sounds like he should have just gone for it and kissed her...(or is that punishable by death these days)

 

[Hal_Jordan]

Suspending him over this is beyond stupid but it's only part of a larger disciplinary problem. Using the term "sexual harassment" to describe it and applying it to a child kissing another child's hand is a bigger problem than anything he's gotten up to.

These are six year-olds so the vagueness of it all only compounds the situation but it's clearly stated, "a policy against unwanted touching" which brings me to the question, did any of them actually ask the girl who was kissed on the hand if she felt it was inappropriate to her? He claims she likes him too then I find it unlikely she would be bothered by his kissing her hand.

That's normally something I would expect to be asked in any allegation of inappropriate touching viewed by someone else; if the one touched actually felt it was inappropriate.

He was already suspended for that specifically once already(along with other bad/rowdy behavior), so he has been told to stop doing it. He was told it was unwanted/inappropriate contact, disciplined for it, yet he did it again.

I don't think kissing the girl's hand is really inappropriate, or should be labeled sexual harassment at all. But it does sound like he's a kid who just can't keep his hands to himself and doesn't listen.

 

[smashmode]

School districts have gotten so terrified about legtimate sexual harassment, that this stuff happens

 

[Spider-Aziz]

How about expelling the lad? Must be a better solution for such behavior

Sometimes, I wonder if the world has gone insane.

Stop wondering?

 

[Vid Electricz]

Apparently this kid can't keep his hands to himself. If you read the article, this is not an isolated incident.

"Sexual assault" is a ridiculous charge, but disciplinary action against repeated bad/unwanted behavior is not at all.

Yes, it does sound like more of a case of necessary disciplinary action.

Correct. It is a ridiculous charge, something once again blown out of proportion and then reported with a sound-bite headline designed to get people riled up.

there's no defense. but an explanation was given in the article. this was in response to complaints by parents. some people will call a boy getting in trouble for kissing a girl ridiculous. then those same people would flip their **** if a little boy kissed their precious little boy. that's how these zero tolerance policies arise. there's an incident. a parent holds the school accountable. a policy is born to cover all eventualities. it's not just stupidity on the school system's part. there are parents out there who are just as stupid and reactionary.

Suspending him over this is beyond stupid but it's only part of a larger disciplinary problem. Using the term "sexual harassment" to describe it and applying it to a child kissing another child's hand is a bigger problem than anything he's gotten up to.

These are six year-olds so the vagueness of it all only compounds the situation but it's clearly stated, "a policy against unwanted touching" which brings me to the question, did any of them actually ask the girl who was kissed on the hand if she felt it was inappropriate to her? He claims she likes him too then I find it unlikely she would be bothered by his kissing her hand.

That's normally something I would expect to be asked in any allegation of inappropriate touching viewed by someone else; if the one touched actually felt it was inappropriate.

100%. No one knows whether the girl found it uncomfortable/inappropriate. And if this is his second or third time (that we know of) being reprimanded for this behaviour...

 

[Vid Electricz]

"Saunders said she saw nothing wrong with her son's display of affection."

Of course she doesn't

Has anyone stopped to ask if the little girl's mother saw anything wrong with the son's display of affection?

 

[Teelie]

He was already suspended for that specifically once already(along with other bad/rowdy behavior), so he has been told to stop doing it. He was told it was unwanted/inappropriate contact, disciplined for it, yet he did it again.

I don't think kissing the girl's hand is really inappropriate, or should be labeled sexual harassment at all. But it does sound like he's a kid who just can't keep his hands to himself and doesn't listen.

Of course she doesn't

Has anyone stopped to ask if the little girl's mother saw anything wrong with the son's display of affection?

It's not clear if the girl (or her parents) was asked or not in that report. Despite Hal's comments he was told to stop, nothing was stated that the girl was asked, only that school administrators determined it to be inappropriate.

 

[Vid Electricz]

It's not clear if the girl (or her parents) was asked or not in that report. Despite Hal's comments he was told to stop, nothing was stated that the girl was asked, only that school administrators determined it to be inappropriate.

To be clear, I'm only pointing out that everyone is jumping to defend this boy (the mother in particular), and his behaviour as "completely harmless" (or some other dismissive term), saying that there was "nothing wrong with the son's display of affection", have failed to take anyone else's POV or feelings into consideration apart from her son's and her own. Maybe the girl didn't want to be kissed. Maybe the girl's mother didn't want her being kissed. How about that? These parties certainly deserve a say in the matter.

 

[Teelie]

They do which is why I clearly stated earlier asking why no one asked the girl if she felt it was inappropriate? Just because people are rightly finding this overblown zero-tolerance does not mean it's even more absurd if the girl in question (and her parents) didn't find it so offensive. If they did find it inappropriate there are other ways to handle it than suspending a child for being a child, which a child psychologist even said was normal.

""For most 6-year-old boys, absolutely. That would be a normal behavior," said Sandy Wurtele, a child clinical psychologist who specializes in child sexual development and the prevention of childhood sexual abuse."

 

[SilentWarriorZ]

well it proves he is not gay otherwise this news would have taken a very different turn .

 

[Tropico]

At age 6? I wouldn't call a boy gay for doing that to a boy.

 

[Teelie]

I am also not so cynical as to think there would necessarily be a bigger out-cry over the girl being a boy in this scenario, although I know there are extremely homophobic parents so it's more iffy.

 

[Schlosser85]

There'd be the Million Moms crowd yelling about him "infecting" their children with Teh Ghey.

 

[Vid Electricz]

They do which is why I clearly stated earlier asking why no one asked the girl if she felt it was inappropriate? Just because people are rightly finding this overblown zero-tolerance does not mean it's even more absurd if the girl in question (and her parents) didn't find it so offensive. If they did find it inappropriate there are other ways to handle it than suspending a child for being a child, which a child psychologist even said was normal.

""For most 6-year-old boys, absolutely. That would be a normal behavior," said Sandy Wurtele, a child clinical psychologist who specializes in child sexual development and the prevention of childhood sexual abuse."

Again, we don't have the full story. We have a short article full of sound bites meant to incite and rile (as with almost every other article posted on these boards)- and they've been quite successful, if the indignant comments have been any indication.

This boy has been reprimanded for this behaviour several times in the past. We don't know the boy, we don't know the girl, we don't know the parents or the school officials- or indeed the true severity of the situation...and yet, so many are content to cast out judgements that the case is ridiculous and "completely harmless".

 

[Teelie]

Million Moms is more like hundreds, maybe thousands, and they're a minority of mostly noisy and nosey people who think they speak for the majority.

 

[Tropico]

Again, we don't have the full story. We have a short article full of sound bites meant to incite and rile (as with almost every other article posted on these boards)- and they've been quite successful, if the indignant comments have been any indication.

This boy has been reprimanded for this behaviour several times in the past. We don't know the boy, we don't know the girl, we don't know the parents or the school officials- or indeed the true severity of the situation...and yet, so many are content to cast out judgements that the case is ridiculous and "completely harmless".

A psychologist already stated this is normal behavior for children that age. Yes, some kids are rowdier than others and some are more touchy-feely than others, I see it all the time. The only mention of the girl is that he said he had a crush on her and that she liked them back. It's very contradictory how we raise babies with all of the physical contact, kissing and hugging and how we want them to express it to other children and family and then suddenly they get into school and they suddenly have to stop it. Some kids adapt faster than others but it's still a learning process for all of them.

 

[Vid Electricz]

A psychologist already stated this is normal behavior for children that age. Yes, some kids are rowdier than others and some are more touchy-feely than others, I see it all the time. The only mention of the girl is that he said he had a crush on her and that she liked them back. It's very contradictory how we raise babies with all of the physical contact, kissing and hugging and how we want them to express it to other children and family and then suddenly they get into school and they suddenly have to stop it. Some kids adapt faster than others but it's still a learning process for all of them.

Well, fortunately or unfortunately, we also live in a society where we must learn to follow rules and do as we're told whether we like it or not (especially in an educational institution). This is where we learn self-control and discipline (well, it should be taught at home first and foremost).

This boy was disciplined several times for acting out in the past and it obviously had no effect on his behaviour. Is a suspension the correct course of action? We don't know enough to make that judgement. Is he receiving the correct discipline at home? Judging from the mothers comments, no.

 

[Teelie]

I like how kissing someone's hands has turned into an outrage of defending the actions of the school while at the same time stating the mother is incompetent at disciplining her child. Talk about jumping to conclusions.

 

[Teelie]

New details emerge. The school is dropping it's claim of sexual harassment, because frankly it's ridiculous but also because of the outrage it's caused. They used the more appropriate and fitting "misconduct" offense.

Although the girl's mother is still exaggerating it as sexual harassment (these kids barely know genders are different let alone sexuality and the concept of harassment is foreign to them), she is right that he was inappropriate because according to The Canyon City Daily Record, "Not once, but over and over...not with her permission but sneaking up on her...not without warning and consequences prior to suspension."

Amid a tidal wave of negative publicity, a Colorado school system has let a 6-year-old boy return to school and said it won't classify his kissing a girl on the hand as sexual harassment.

On Wednesday night, CNN affiliate KRDO reported that Canon City Schools Superintendent Robin Gooldy met with Hunter's parents. The superintendent then changed Hunter's disciplinary offense from "sexual harassment" to "misconduct."

[...]

Jade Masters-Ownbey, the mother of the girl Hunter is accused of kissing, told the local newspaper that the school district was right in protecting her daughter.

The mother, who is also a teacher in the school district, said Hunter had tried to kiss her daughter "over and over" without her permission, according to Canon City Daily Record.

[...]

Gooldy, the superintendent of Canon City Schools, told HLN on Tuesday that students aren't labeled sexual harassers after the first innocent grade-school kiss. But if unwelcome contact or touching continues, it will be noted in the student's file, he said.

Full article at CNN.

 

[Tropico]

I read some of the comments and actually laughed out loud at one person who said that if he wasn't stopped now who knows how much further he would take it in a couple of months. I don't know if that person is aware that the kids are 6 years old.

It's good to hear the other side, I know it sounds like the mom is exaggerating but it's reasonable for her to react that way considering it's her daughter that's getting what we're now finding out are unwanted shows of affection. If the dad was interviewed it's more than likely he would be even more incensed since dad's are even more protective of their daughters. I don't know how many classes they have for each grade but it might be a better solution to place either one of them in a different class if the problem persists and the boy continues to learn that it's not appropriate behavior.