So...I've seen it. I might as well just give my final thoughts on this film and leave them here. Spoilers ahead.
AVP:R Unrated Cut review
by The Chibi Kiriyama (David) at AVPGalaxy
So...yeah. AVP:R. I think I've made it as clear as humanly possible that, since I saw this at the theater, my opinion on it could be summed up as "SCREW THIS MOVIE." Now? I've thought about it...collected my thoughts...and can now say "Meh...it was okay."
So, what changes this so much? Well, I might as well address the elephants in the room: the lighting and the pace. This really shouldn't be called the Extreme Unrated Cut, as that implies that all that is added to this film is gore. That's not entirely false- the burstings and Jesse's disembowelment definintely have more "oomph" through the addition of extra practical effect shots. But that's not why this film is better. It's better in the unrated cut because it's competent. Though, calling this the "Competent Cut" would be a little self-degrading.
First, the changes to the color: boy, do they go a long way. I'm glad to actually be able to see WTF is going on in this print. Maybe they just chose richer colors, but from the first few frames you can tell that something has been done to make the creatures visible as they're doing their business. From the mist on the ground surrounding the dead Predator's body to the extended look at the PredAlien's molting, this can finally be viewed without squinting. I'm not really sure what people have been talking about when reviewing this cut; it's still dark, but no place near when I last saw it.
The second topic is the most important: the pace. On this, I'll let the film speak for itself in comparing the introduction. In the theatrical cut, someone took a butcher's knife and raped the sense out of the intro. We get a scout ship that looks nothing like the last one, which conveniently has the dead Pred's body along with a PredAlien that grows in a matter of minutes. The unrated cut, however, seems interested in telling a story this time around. It plays around with the events. We see a shot of the Earth, followed up with the PredAlien's birth. Then we see that the spaceship has moved all the way to the rings of Saturn, where a scout ship flies off from the spaceship ala the small pods in the original AVP comic (a nice touch). It's not until this passage of time that we see that the PredAlien has snuck onto the scout ship and started her shenanigans.
I won't ruin anymore on the Pred portions, but there's a part with "the Wolf" early on which really makes the main Predator far more agreeable. Whereas the theater Pred was a wannabe Rambo with no sense in his head, the Pred here is a bit more "sympathetic"; we find out that he knew jack diddly squat about the Aliens being onboard, and his sense of honor seems to be stronger but in a very subtle manner.
The human bits...meh. Kelly's husband (Tim) delivers good emotion in his extended bits and I give props to the dude playing him. If only all of the acting was like that...still, all's not lost. The lines that are added in make it seem like there was an attempt to make us care despite the lackluster execution. In particular, Kelly's daughter is a smidge less irritating once you've seen that she does more than scream every now and then.
The unrated cut isn't all good, of that much I'm certain. In particular, the Alien bits are both better and worse. I'll again let the events speak for themselves: Jesse "doing the split" v. the burstings. Jesse's death is not really changed so much in this cut. We just see an extended view that shows intestines slipping out. It doesn't mess with the impact of that image, and gives just a little more reason as to why Mr. Pizza Boy snaps so hard besides the obvious. However, the burstings are another tale. While the practical effects are improved and are more coherent since last we saw this film, the shots themselves do nothing to improve the actual sequences. Take Carrie's bursting: for all of the work that probably went into putting those Aliens there, the theatrical cut's approach of simply showing a gaping hole is far more powerful.
(Another thing is how it seems like the kid died after collapsing from a massive erection, but I'll be kind and overlook that.)
Final thoughts? While I felt like the small things like the gory National Guard fight were good, this cut ultimately boils down to the bad parts (the line delivery and amateur scares). In that regard, it's still disappointing. I don't share the same enthusiasm for cheap moves like child/preggo burstings, and the PredAlien's RM still doesn't make a lick of sense. But for all the bad parts that remained, there's something worthwhile about the treatment of the Predators as well as the good intentions shown both with the human and Alien additions to make me think that the Brothers Strause were trying really hard to give us a competent story. I...very tepidly...hope that, if they get to direct AVP3, we see a final cut that's like this instead of the butchered POS we got last December.
Is it better than Alien³? Deep down, I have to say "no." Fincher simply pulled out a better human performance from the script than the Brothers Strause. But the fact that the Brothers Strause tried to make this more than just an unmitigated failure makes me think of how it could possibly be better had they gotten better acting for this.
Final Grade
Theatrical Cut: F
Unrated Cut: C
P.S. I'd still like an explanation on how the PredAlien RM works.