November Rain
Single Mother
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2005
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- 13,322
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Right I was having a conversation with one of my female friends. She lives just outside of sheffied so she has to commute in.
It also means that when she wants to go out in sheffield she needs to get a cab to go back home.
We started talking about going on nights out and stuff like that and she said she hated the fact that she doesn't get to go out as often as she would want or infact whenever she really wants to.
I asked why and she said because she would have to travel home on her own if she went out with her friends that lived in sheffield.
I Questioned her as to why she simply couldn't stay with one of her friends that lived in sheffield so she didn't have to get a cab back on her own at the end of the night and her reasoning was because most of her friends were male and (this is the strange part) although she doesn't think her fella would mind that, she doesn't want to then give him an opening to stay at one of his female friends if he was in the same situation.
Basically, for fear of her boyfriend cheating, she is denying herself a good time which to her seems to be kinda fine but to me seems obsurd.
So it comes down to her being insecure within her relationship even though they have been going out for nearly 3 years.
My point is that if you are constantly worried about someone going to cheat at you at any open opportunity that you sacrifice your own personal joys, what's the point of being with them.
My motto is that if someoen is goign to cheat on you, they'll do it whether it's in the first week or 15 years down the line, why purposely delay the inevitable? If they like you enough, you won't have to constantly be looking into your shoulder.
I've always taken the non caring approach, My ex told me she used to sometimes share the same bed as her fiance, I wouldn't even care if they were still boning but i'm become particularly cold, i wouldn't expect that level from most people.
The whole 'keeping tabs on your partner' thing and not giving them the opportunity to cheat i see to be in tandem with some people who seem to unnecessarily delay some physical aspects of a relationship, well past its point of natural occurence (I know this for a fact) as it only ends up pro-longing a potentially flawed relationship based on the fact that both parties aren;t laying all their cards on the table and the focus of one point or denial of another takes up the occupation of the parties involved so the actual compatibility issues remain unresolved till a much later date.
Does this make any sense to anyone, it barely makes sense to me...
So in a nutshell, are you happy with your partner doing their own thing and flirting with others knowing fully well nothing will come of it.
or an even shorter version of that is
Are you secure in your relationship.
It also means that when she wants to go out in sheffield she needs to get a cab to go back home.
We started talking about going on nights out and stuff like that and she said she hated the fact that she doesn't get to go out as often as she would want or infact whenever she really wants to.
I asked why and she said because she would have to travel home on her own if she went out with her friends that lived in sheffield.
I Questioned her as to why she simply couldn't stay with one of her friends that lived in sheffield so she didn't have to get a cab back on her own at the end of the night and her reasoning was because most of her friends were male and (this is the strange part) although she doesn't think her fella would mind that, she doesn't want to then give him an opening to stay at one of his female friends if he was in the same situation.
Basically, for fear of her boyfriend cheating, she is denying herself a good time which to her seems to be kinda fine but to me seems obsurd.
So it comes down to her being insecure within her relationship even though they have been going out for nearly 3 years.
My point is that if you are constantly worried about someone going to cheat at you at any open opportunity that you sacrifice your own personal joys, what's the point of being with them.
My motto is that if someoen is goign to cheat on you, they'll do it whether it's in the first week or 15 years down the line, why purposely delay the inevitable? If they like you enough, you won't have to constantly be looking into your shoulder.
I've always taken the non caring approach, My ex told me she used to sometimes share the same bed as her fiance, I wouldn't even care if they were still boning but i'm become particularly cold, i wouldn't expect that level from most people.
The whole 'keeping tabs on your partner' thing and not giving them the opportunity to cheat i see to be in tandem with some people who seem to unnecessarily delay some physical aspects of a relationship, well past its point of natural occurence (I know this for a fact) as it only ends up pro-longing a potentially flawed relationship based on the fact that both parties aren;t laying all their cards on the table and the focus of one point or denial of another takes up the occupation of the parties involved so the actual compatibility issues remain unresolved till a much later date.
Does this make any sense to anyone, it barely makes sense to me...
So in a nutshell, are you happy with your partner doing their own thing and flirting with others knowing fully well nothing will come of it.
or an even shorter version of that is
Are you secure in your relationship.
woot:
