Are You Single???

[Memphis Slim]

You know, I've noticed an irksome trend in the way people define single today. I was listening to a conversation between two "unmarried" girls. One was lamenting having broken up from her boyfriend. Then she says, "I can't stand being alone....I don't like being "single".

Where's my asprin...

If you are not "married" you are single!! I really see pretty much everything being dumbed down in our time. The slow erosion of the respect for "traditional marriage" has led to re-defining of what being "single" really means. When you have people running around saying, "I'm not single" because they have a boy-friend or girlfriend, is ridiculous.

Just say, "Yes... I'm single. But, I'm in a relationship with someone, right now."

When did this change? I hear this all the time now.

 

[SuperFerret]

Welcome to the English language. Guess what? It evolves. 'Single' now means 'unattached'. 'Gay' means 'homosexual'. Double negatives are generally accepted and understood.

 

[kainedamo]

I've never heard of someone trying to define not being single as strictly meaning not being married.

 

[Babs Gordon]

Most of the people I know use "single" to mean unattached and "unmarried" to mean... not married. Perhaps you'd prefer the term "unavailable" instead of "single" and if not, then you should probably ask yourself if you're giving the proper respect to committed relationships that exist prior to marriage.

I think as time has passed there has been a wider range of relationships... from open to committed at different levels. Two hundred years there was very little between perfect strangers, friends and suddenly *boom* husband and wife. Now partners can go nearly a lifetime without ever marrying. They certainly aren't single though.

 

[black_dust]

i aint been single for seven years

 

[kainedamo]

I'll try to steer this thread into a more interesting direction than defining the word single as strickly meaning not married...

Has anyone here noticed that most girls, especially if they're attractive, are perpeptually in relationships?

Seriously. Most girls only remain single for a couple of weeks - then BAM!! They find their next guy.

Example. I know this girl called Ellen. She broke up with her boyfriend of about 3 or 4 years. Very attractive girl, she is. I was half playing around with the idea of asking her out, maybe. But not two weeks after she broke up with her boyfriend did she find another guy!

I find this to be very common.

I've been single for about... hmm... Maybe two years now.

 

[SuperFerret]

You must not be an attractive girl.

 

[kainedamo]

You must not be an attractive girl.

No I'm not

No one asked me to dance at the prom

 

[Memphis Slim]

I figured these were the responses I'd get.

 

[Babs Gordon]

Kaine, I find that's mostly true of younger high school age girls. I know lots of beautiful girls that aren't constantly attached.

And women outnumber men in this world, so it's mathematically impossible for it to be totally true.

I dated two guys last year for a couple months each. The rest of the time I was happily single. Being single is sometimes a hell of a lot easier than dealing with the dizzying highs and lows of some relationships.

 

[Babs Gordon]

I figured these were the responses I'd get.

So you already knew you're in a minority with your opinon.

 

[kainedamo]

Kaine, I find that's mostly true of younger high school age girls. I know lots of beautiful girls that aren't constantly attached.

And women outnumber men in this world, so it's mathematically impossible for it to be totally true.

I dated two guys last year for a couple months each. The rest of the time I was happily single. Being single is sometimes a hell of a lot easier than dealing with the dizzying highs and lows of some relationships.

The highs and lows is what makes a relationship so darn exciting. And it sure beats the hell out of being lonely.

 

[Babs Gordon]

I've had a string of 'lows' so right now I'm kind of sick and tired of being in relationships. Sure it's happy happy happy if it's working right, however, I'm more interested in a balanced sense of well-being at the moment, especially since I'm a teacher and busy trying to raise middle school children at a boarding school. I'm dating a guy from town and dating is fun but right now, I'm on a relationship hiatus I think. Also, loneliness is a self-imposed state, in my opinion. A lot of my friends that have proclaimed that they are lonely are usually letting themselves fester in a rut where they don't go out with their friends or hang out and don't do anything really exciting to curb boredom. I have been lonely in the last year and even I realize it's because I've shut myself down from my friends and all the things that I normally love to do.

 

[Memphis Slim]

So you already knew you're in a minority with your opinon.

As usual.

 

[Babs Gordon]

So were you trying to convince us that we're wrong in our use of the word "single" or were you simply trying to display your minorityness?

 

[kainedamo]

I've had a string of 'lows' so right now I'm kind of sick and tired of being in relationships. Sure it's happy happy happy if it's working right, however, I'm more interested in a balanced sense of well-being at the moment, especially since I'm a teacher and busy trying to raise middle school children at a boarding school. I'm dating a guy from town and dating is fun but right now, I'm on a relationship hiatus I think. Also, loneliness is a self-imposed state, in my opinion. A lot of my friends that have proclaimed that they are lonely are usually letting themselves fester in a rut where they don't go out with their friends or hang out and don't do anything really exciting to curb boredom. I have been lonely in the last year and even I realize it's because I've shut myself down from my friends and all the things that I normally love to do.

I agree that on one level loneliness is a state of mind. A person can make themselves into a real hermit who never goes out if they make themselves too bitter and depressed. I don't think a person can truely be happy if they can't learn to be happy with who they are, and realize you don't need a partner around to make you a whole person.

However, I do think it's easier for some people than it is for others. For example, you say that you're dating. Not really in a relationship. But yeah, the whole "dating game" is different for girls, I think. It's alot easier for them. An attractive girl usually has at least one or two guys she knows are interested in her if she chooses to date one of them. It's alot different for guys. Or at least, I think so anyway.

 

[Mr. Credible]

You know, I've noticed an irksome trend in the way people define single today. I was listening to a conversation between two "unmarried" girls. One was lamenting having broken up from her boyfriend. Then she says, "I can't stand being alone....I don't like being "single".

Where's my asprin...

If you are not "married" you are single!! I really see pretty much everything being dumbed down in our time. The slow erosion of the respect for "traditional marriage" has led to re-defining of what being "single" really means. When you have people running around saying, "I'm not single" because they have a boy-friend or girlfriend, is ridiculous.

Just say, "Yes... I'm single. But, I'm in a relationship with someone, right now."

When did this change? I hear this all the time now.

false.

yeah, sure, let's base our defiition of words on an archaic (sp?) institution, that is nothing more than a glorified tax break. marriage is stupid, and is only still a big deal because people (people = government) make it out to be.

if you are single, you are not seeing someone... if you are not single, you are seeing someone, and/or are married... simple enough?

 

[Babs Gordon]

i know a lot of religious folks that make it out to be pretty important too.

 

[Erzengel]

If you aren't with anyone, you're single.
If you are dating someone but non committal such as in the early stages, you are dating.
If you are attached to someone, you're in a relationship.
If you have a spouse, you're married.

 

[BloodyWolverine]

I'll make it simple very, very, very, very,very single.

 

[Super Kal]

I'll make it simple very, very, very, very,very single.

ditto.

 

[Memphis Slim]

If you aren't with anyone, you're single.

If you are not married, you are single.
It's even on most applications....check the box. Which one do you check?

If you are dating someone but non committal such as in the early stages, you are dating.

This, I can agree with.

If you are attached to someone, you're in a relationship.

Single but unavailable.

If you have a spouse, you're married.

Bingo! Conversely.....if you don't have a spouse, you are __________?

 

[The Squirrel]

I'm single in the sense that I'm not married.

But because I'm in a serious relationship, I don't view my self as a single person.

It's a complicated thing.

But that's the English language for you.

 

[GunBlade]

I'll try to steer this thread into a more interesting direction than defining the word single as strickly meaning not married...

Has anyone here noticed that most girls, especially if they're attractive, are perpeptually in relationships?

Seriously. Most girls only remain single for a couple of weeks - then BAM!! They find their next guy.

Example. I know this girl called Ellen. She broke up with her boyfriend of about 3 or 4 years. Very attractive girl, she is. I was half playing around with the idea of asking her out, maybe. But not two weeks after she broke up with her boyfriend did she find another guy!

I find this to be very common.

I've been single for about... hmm... Maybe two years now.

There are several reasons why that is, aside from attractiveness.

 

[Memphis Slim]

I'm single in the sense that I'm not married.

But because I'm in a serious relationship, I don't view my self as a single person.

It's a complicated thing.

But that's the English language for you.

It's not complicated. People just don't have the respect for marriage they use to. Easy in , easy out. There is no "distinctiveness" and there should be. Marriage is not "archaic" as one of you stated. People will always get married. It's in every culture. It's instinctive.