Here are some from The Adventures Of Ford Fairlaine: Rock & Roll Detective
Ford: "Clint Eastwood? I f**ked 'im. Oh!"
Ford: "You are ten seconds away from the most embarrassing moment of your entire life."
Twins: "Ford! We just needed to be held!"
Ford: "Well you got the bonus plan."
Ford: "You see those two chicks? Girl scouts. I took two boxes."
Suzanne: "Mr Fairlane, I'm very rich. The kind of rich that warps minds. When I was eleven years old I walked in on my father and the shatlin pony he gave me for my tenth birthday. (Glances down) Does that excite you?"
Ford: "I don't know, I've never met your father."
Suzanne: (Glances down again)
Ford: (Looking to see what she's glancing at) "Oh that? Don't take it personal. He usually wakes up about a half hour before I do. Y'know what I'm sayin'? (At his crotch) Down boy! Down Stanley! Rosanne Barr naked! Phhht, gone."
Suzanne: "Stanley?"
Ford: "Yeah, Stanley. You know. As in, the power drill?"
Suzanne: "I had to ask."
Ford: "Talking to Zuzu was kinda like masterbating with a cheese grater. Slightly amusing, but mostly painful."
Johnny: "Hello? Is this Chevy Nova? Is this the car I've called to talk to? Johnny Crunch here, from KDRT! Kay-Dirt? You schmuck! I'm the guy who had sex with your prom date, the very night before the prom! Anyway, I might have a case for you here. Now I don't want you showing up and asking, 'What? Is it a leather case or is it a vinyl case? NO! It's a case to solve! So why don't you meet me here at the station at about, let's say six o'clock. Make it six."
Ford: "Johnny Titlebaum calling himself Johnny Crunch. Knock me out. Y'know we grew up in Brooklyn together. Came out here to become rock stars. He's lying about that prom date thing, of course. At least I hope he is, I took his sister."
Johnny: "Years ago I was in Jersey. I meet this girl. She's a total pig, but I f**ked her."
Ford: "Yeah, I heard you started dating."
. But it was Bruce Lee from enter the dragon. "Boards don't hit back".
