psylockolussus
Anchor of Earth-X
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2004
- Messages
- 57,988
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Not every MCU film has to be a comedy film and feature characters cracking jokes every ten minutes.
It's beautiful.
What we really need is a blisteringly dark, psycho-sexual thriller of Black Widow. Her dealing with the abject brutality of Kremlin training. The experiments done on her to strip her off of her humanity. Her secret of hobby of cutting herself at night while she recalls the execution of her boyfriend, who used to rape her, shown in tantalizing detail. She kidnaps a woman and makes her a surrogate mother of her child with the Hulk. There is an extended sequence where she almost dies trying to bed the Hulk. Rated NC 17, with special allowances for 13 year old comic book fans, only if they can prove they have every comic book home media. And also because this film will struggle to find an audience without said 13 year olds.
Directed by Zack Snyder of course. There is a q and a afterwords about the academic meaning of this film. And if anybody was tempted to laugh and how comedy is bad for your health.
Romance? She pretty much tried to have him killed in Civil War. Can't see it happening now.
Barnes tried to kill Natasha three times. In TWS she recounted how he killed a scientist by shooting the man thru her abdomen. Later in that movie he tried to blow her up, then shot her again and she almost bled out. In CW he almost choked her to death. After all.of that, there's no way Natasha would or should want anything to do with Barnes. (And no, being brainwashed doesn't make those assaults go away.)
Oh no no no we can't say that friend. You see, Marvel is just sexist, it is not that all their good female characters are owned by other studios. :3
Hot take: do we even need a Black Widow movie? Personally, I wish the people (rightfully) thirsty for better representation would stop showering this mildly interesting supporting character with so much love.
What we really need is a blisteringly dark, psycho-sexual thriller of Black Widow. Her dealing with the abject brutality of Kremlin training. The experiments done on her to strip her off of her humanity. Her secret of hobby of cutting herself at night while she recalls the execution of her boyfriend, who used to rape her, shown in tantalizing detail. She kidnaps a woman and makes her a surrogate mother of her child with the Hulk. There is an extended sequence where she almost dies trying to bed the Hulk. Rated NC 17, with special allowances for 13 year old comic book fans, only if they can prove they have every comic book home media. And also because this film will struggle to find an audience without said 13 year olds.
Directed by Zack Snyder of course. There is a q and a afterwords about the academic meaning of this film. And if anybody was tempted to laugh and how comedy is bad for your health.
You know, I could see a Black Widow "comedy" working, as long as the comedy is pitch black. I'm not sure you could really make it work within a PG-13 rating, though.
Barnes tried to kill Natasha three times. In TWS she recounted how he killed a scientist by shooting the man thru her abdomen. Later in that movie he tried to blow her up, then shot her again and she almost bled out. In CW he almost choked her to death. After all.of that, there's no way Natasha would or should want anything to do with Barnes. (And no, being brainwashed doesn't make those assaults go away.)
People want the same feeling they got from 2000s spy fare (because it was awesome) and they don't know that that ship has sailed. Asking for spy films like Bourne Identity is like asking for superhero films like Spider-Man 2... sounds nice, but those techniques are cliche now.
The Spy genre needs a NEW Bourne, who does for the genre what Bourne did, and what Kingsman did in the first one. Since they seem to have lost their vein in the sequel, that leaves Black Widow in a place where she can reinvent the genre... but she can't do that chasing Alias and Nikita. She's got to be far more relevant. She has to show the people something *new* or else she's just Atomic Redhead - which is awesome, but not very popular or interesting to most. If Black Widow is the kind of movie to be succesful, like Bourne, like Kingsman, then it will be a film that others attempt to pattern themselves after, and they'll be calling for Bond and Eggsy to be more like Black Widow, not the other way around.