Cancel the 2009 Oscars the best movie ever is on its way! Van Dam VS Segal

[Noir]

http://www.themovieblog.com/2008/01/van-damme-vs-seagal

Van Damme VS. Seagal

We have news today that Director Mark Nippe seeks to fictionalize one of the most anticipated battles of all time JCVD VS Segal. We get the scoop from our friends at the moviehole:

Director Mark Nippe (“Spawn”) has signed to direct the curiously-titled “Van Damme vs. Seagal”.
“Van Damme vs. Seagal” is a spoof comedy making fun of action heroes Van Damme and Seagal, both living in the Hollywood hills jealously trying to make each others’ life miserable – until a real nuclear threat arises and forces them to combine their action hero powers.
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Apparently neither Van Damme nor Segal will be in this film. I beg to ask the question - what is the point? We all want to see these dudes in a movie together and a spoof movie that lampoons this fact is a cock tease that I do not want to endure. If magic happens, and they are both brought on board; then I will change my tune pronto.
When I was a kid these two were action titans and it is a shame that most of there recent work is sent directly to DVD land. A few years back I rented JCVD’s In Hell - a wrongly accused man ends up in a Russian prison for the murder of his wife. He is then thrust into the vicious world of prison pit fighting! It is a great cheese action film that deserves a watch. In the movie whenever someone is about to get raped in prison - techno music starts, classic!

http://www.moviehole.net/news/20080108_van_damme_vs_seagal.html

Director Mark Dippe (“Spawn”) has signed to direct the curiously-titled “Van Damme vs. Seagal”.
Alas – I’m guessing, but I think it’s pretty safe to say I’d be correct with my supposition – it won’t feature the real ‘Muscles for Brussels’ or the true Ponytailed Cook, but the film still sounds like it’ll be worth a look (cast and joke dependent, naturally).
Dippe has a background in special effects – having worked on such pics as “Back to the Future II” and “The Flintstones” – but made his directorial debut with 1994’s “Spawn”. Since then he’s directed “Pixel Perfect”, “Halloweentown High”, “Frankenfish” and the recent DTV release, “Garfield Gets Real”.
“Van Damme vs. Seagal” is a spoof comedy making fun of action heroes Van Damme and Seagal, both living in the Hollywood hills jealously trying to make each others’ life miserable – until a real nuclear threat arises and forces them to combine their action hero powers.

 

[Motown Marvel]

this will only be worthwhile if both vandamme and segal are involved.

 

[Hunter Rider]

Without them actually playing themselves this has no purpose.

In the movie whenever someone is about to get raped in prison - techno music starts, classic!

 

[Noir]

Well, niether of them are really doing anything, so their is a big chance they're playing themselves.

 

[Balthus Dire]

Even if it was the real Van Damme and Segal, it would've been cool 10 years ago, not now when they are both old and at the lowest of their careers.

 

[Apollo]

wait... a movie about Van dam vs Segal....yet neither of them are going to be in it??? WTF!? at least ask them, they'd probably say yes...i mean its not like they are busy with Spielberg Oscar worthy like projects...

 

[GreenKToo]

um, whats the point if their not in it??

 

[Fenrir]

Great, two mediocre martial artists who are also terrible actors. Woot! Color me excited.

 

[Apollo]

Even if it was the real Van Damme and Segal, it would've been cool 10 years ago, not now when they are both old and at the lowest of their careers.

same with a Jackie chan VS jet li film... would have been great like... in the 90's

 

[dark_b]

Even if it was the real Van Damme and Segal, it would've been cool 10 years ago, not now when they are both old and at the lowest of their careers.

10 years ago they didnt have to do this movie. now they have to to make some money.

 

[Wolfwood]

Great, two mediocre martial artists who are also terrible actors. Woot! Color me excited.

That's what makes it great, hopefully they agree to do this. I haven't seen a Van Damme movie since the 90s, but I would break that streak to see this.

 

[GhostPoet]

Got my hopes up with this post...then you SMASHED them on the rocks.

thanks.

sigh

 

[WhatsHisFace]

Is Dan Akroyd going to play Steven Segal?

 

[Noir]

Dan Akroyd for Segal Bill Murray for Van Damme

 

[Kanon]

We should start making signatures a la Civil War "What side are you on?"

Seagal is going to kick Van Damme's ass... (An probably break his arm too)

 

[UltimateJustin]

I think the idea is hilarious. Van Damme would actually probably do it, but Seagal's weird spirit honor thing he pretends to have would probably prevent him from wanting any part of it. Anyway, the point of the movie doesn't seem to be about the excitement of having these two in a movie together, its more of a ridiculous Chuck Norris/Snakes on a Plane/Family Guy joke. So it makes more since to have it in 2008 now that they are parodies of themselves anyway, than 1998 when both their careers had just recently dwindled.

 

[Noir]

We should start making signatures a la Civil War "What side are you on?"

Seagal is going to kick Van Damme's ass... (An probably break his arm too)

Done. and Done.

 

[Mr. Credible]

Even if it was the real Van Damme and Segal, it would've been cool 10 years ago, not now when they are both old and at the lowest of their careers.

well, yeah... but that's what makes it funny.

 

[Kanon]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article748047.ece

Asked who would win in a fight between action heroes Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal, Sly said the two came face-to-face at a party in 1997.

Sylvester said: "They were all there – Arnold, Bruce Willis - it was heck of a party.

"But Van Damme was tired of Seagal claiming he could kick his a**, so he offered Seagal outside into my backyard.

"Seagal made his excuses and left. But Van Damme, who was berserk, tracked him down at a nightclub and offered him out again."

He added: "Again Seagal pulled a Houdini. Van Damme was just too strong. Seagal wanted none of it."

I say BS, but, whatever...

 

[TNC9852002]

WTF? LOL WUT

Such a bad idea here.

-TNC

 

[Ironic_Commando]

DeNiro as Van Damme and Pacino as Seagal. Awesomeness ensues.

 

[November Rain]

meh it would have been better if they played themselves...

I can imagine the sequel being called van damme vs segal vs NORRIS

 

[SuperBatman]

This will be crap since Segal and Van Dam won't be in it. There to old anyway.

 

[turtlefocker]

if they were both involved (playing themselves) it would be a ****ing masterpiece... or at least have the potential to be one.

 

[thejon93]

http://www.themovieblog.com/2008/01/van-damme-vs-seagal




http://www.moviehole.net/news/20080108_van_damme_vs_seagal.html

What... the... crap...?! Van Damme vs. Seagel?! Is this some kind of bloody joke? 'Cause it's not that funny. These guys aren't even last year, these guys are like ten years ago! Why the ass would they make a movie about two highly burned-out actors?! I won't doubt they have talent in fight chorography, but really what's the point?