Hazmat81 said:
Hi im having a very hard time now. I'm a christian who told a girl in my youth group that i liked her this summer and asked her out. I got the "Let's stay friends" thing and was heart broken. I've tried hanging out with her since just to make things normal like they were before. She became a christian this summer and last week i guess she went to a party got drunk and lost her virginity and she is devistated. Ive talked to her and tried to go get coffee but she is to devistated i guess because she hasnt shown up. Im really heart broken over this and im trying to get some advice for this. Please be Kind! I dont really feel like getting mad at anyone today.
This post is a whole mindfield of trouble but i'll try and get through it.
First, i don't understand based on your title why you want Christian Advice. Is all other advice from non-religious people or non-christians completely no legit?
Secondly, I don't understand why you placed the whole 'love' angle information into this thread as it is clearly non-relevant to the actual dillemma you speak of and you seem to be sidetracking which makes me wonder if this thread is actually more about you than the lady you seem to care about and how she is hurting your feelings.
Secondly, She stands you up for a coffee meeting clearly showing that the whole 'just friends' angle isn't working at an apparent time of need. Infact according to you, you only think she is devastated, you don't know the effect of her feelings and only assume because she would rather not talk to you about them, which is trollocks.
Then you top it off by saying you are heart broken? Why should you care, you're not going out, you're not even really friends at this point and you are heart broken because she slept with someone else and lost her virginity. Why should this even bother you, it's her life and to a certain extent her choice, you don't come into it. You come accross as though your feelings for her are more important than trying to help her cope with what she has gone through. you come accross as a lil selfish in a tale that you aren;t even based around but it somehow still comes across about being all about you.
It's clear you aren't over this lady and i think it's time you took steps to get to that point. Perhaps then, you will be able to see the big picture and perhaps try to be a better friend to her, maybe one she won't stand up and would come to talk to in a time of need (which she may not even be in at the moment).
in all fairness airing business that isn't yours on a internet forum is not good.
:heart:
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