Christian Advice.

[7Hells]

She was drunk. While getting drunk was her fault, what she did afterwards really isn't.

That is ridiculous.
I agree with Tangled web.
Why is she going around telling everyone about this anyway? Sounds like she just wants attention and sympathy.

 

[The Question]

Alcohol just makes you do want you want to anyway.

That's not true at all. As I said, it severely impares judgement.

Don't blame the alcohol. What about rapists and murderers? They get drunk and kill/rape, but should they get off because "it wasn't their fault, they were drunk"?

That's different. If you're getting drunk to get up the courage to commit a crime, you're guilty. If you're really really drunk and then commit those crimes, you're not entirely responsible because you weren't in your proper mental state.

 

[Tangled Web]

That's different. If you're getting drunk to get up the courage to commit a crime, you're guilty. If you're really really drunk and then commit those crimes, you're not entirely responsible because you weren't in your proper mental state.

That's rediculous, you still have enough sense to know what you're doing. It's her own damn fault.

 

[Lando81]

why do you guys have to be so mean? This is a Serious Issue and I was looking for a Christian Response.

 

[Tangled Web]

I'm a Christian and I'm not being mean, I'm being honest. People need to take responsibility for their own actions.

 

[celldog]

Hi im having a very hard time now. I'm a christian who told a girl in my youth group that i liked her this summer and asked her out. I got the "Let's stay friends" thing and was heart broken. I've tried hanging out with her since just to make things normal like they were before. She became a christian this summer and last week i guess she went to a party got drunk and lost her virginity and she is devistated. Ive talked to her and tried to go get coffee but she is to devistated i guess because she hasnt shown up. Im really heart broken over this and im trying to get some advice for this. Please be Kind! I dont really feel like getting mad at anyone today.

Question:
Why did you come these boards for "godly" advice?? Or did you really want advice to begin with?? How about leaving this poor girl's business off of these message board and consulting your pastor or youth goup leader at your "CHURCH" (if you have one).

Or did you really just want to smear the Christian faith by showing that someone who is a believer stumbled back into a temping situation. See..to be honest, if you've been posting on these boards for more than a week, you gotta know how "anti-Chrtian" the attitudes are here. That's why I question your motive for even posting this.

You can get mad at me now, if you want.

 

[7Hells]

Did you really expect serious?
Besides just because someone says something mean doesnt mean they arent serious. I was totally serious in saying it sounds like this chick just wants attention and sympathy.

 

[The Question]

That's rediculous, you still have enough sense to know what you're doing. It's her own damn fault.

No, you don't, and no, it isn't. When you're drunk, you have severely impared judgement, no real sense of your own limits, and your baser instincts tend to take hold. If she does something she never would have done sober, it's not really her fault.

 

[MagicPrime]

I'm a Christian and I'm not being mean, I'm being honest. People need to take responsibility for their own actions.

Thankyou - I agree wholeheartedly

 

[Tangled Web]

No, you don't, and no, it isn't. When you're drunk, you have severely impared judgement, no real sense of your own limits, and your baser instincts tend to take hold. If she does something she never would have done sober, it's not really her fault.

Yes, yes. It's her fault.

1) She shouldn't be getting drunk.

2) She shouldn't be having sex.

No one forced her to.

= It's her fault.

So if someone gets drunk and kills someone you love you tell me that it's not their fault it's the alcohol.

 

[unstoppable]

No, you don't, and no, it isn't. When you're drunk, you have severely impared judgement, no real sense of your own limits, and your baser instincts tend to take hold. If she does something she never would have done sober, it's not really her fault.

yes,yes it is her fault

 

[ampersand]

Question:
Why did you come these boards for "godly" advice?? Or did you really want advice to begin with?? How about leaving this poor girl's business off of these message board and consulting your pastor or youth goup leader at your "CHURCH" (if you have one).

Or did you really just want to smear the Christian faith by showing that someone who is a believer stumbled back into a temping situation. See..to be honest, if you've been posting on these boards for more than a week, you gotta know how "anti-Chrtian" the attitudes are here. That's why I question your motive for even posting this.

You can get mad at me now, if you want.

Wow, that was a fantastically Christian response. Ass.

 

[The Dark Defender]

To the original poster, tell her that she made a mistake, all she has to do is understand it, ask forgiveness for it, learn from it, and try the best she can to move on.
People that have made far, far greater mistakes have done so many times. That's the beauty of the faith, no matter how many mistakes you've made, there are people out there that have done far more and far worse, and they aren't out of the reach of forgiveness or moving on if they truly want it, so you aren't either.
You don't have to wallow in the guilt of your wrongdoing. If you fall time and time again, he'll help you back up time and time again if you want him to.

 

[ampersand]

Yes, yes. It's her fault.

1) She shouldn't be getting drunk.

2) She shouldn't be having sex.

No one forced her to.

= It's her fault.

So if someone gets drunk and kills someone you love you tell me that it's not their fault it's the alcohol.

True story, during our freshman orientation we had to attend a presentation on rape. According to them, a girl cannot give consent when she is drunk. But, if a dude is drunk and has sex with a drunk girl, he is a rapist. The best arguement for this that I can think of is that getting it up is a sign of consent for a guy, but then what if the girl was wet? It's so one sided.

Anyway, back to the discussion

 

[batman44]

Basically you (and her) should pray. Take her to scriptures about forgivness and and true repentence. Tell her she to seek guideness with the pastor and/ or other minister who may help her. Heck even going to her parents (depending on the parents) could help. But always seek GOD first.

 

[The Question]

1) She shouldn't be getting drunk.

The getting drunk, that was her fault. I've said that. The sex wasn't.

2) She shouldn't be having sex.

No one forced her to.

= It's her fault.

She wasn't in her right mind at the time. Not capable of properly judging her actions.

So if someone gets drunk and kills someone you love you tell me that it's not their fault it's the alcohol.

That's hardly a fair arguement. A situation like that would bring up an emitional bias.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

TW, until you get drunk yourself, you can't really comment on what it makes you do, right?

 

[unstoppable]

The getting drunk, that was her fault. I've said that. The sex wasn't.



She wasn't in her right mind at the time. Not capable of properly judging her actions.



That's hardly a fair arguement. A situation like that would bring up an emitional bias.

your a stubburn little bastard ya know that

listen you said that the drinking is her fault right?therefore it's all her fault she should know what to expect from drinking alcohol

 

[AndThePickles]

So, she just became a Christian and the first thing she does is go out, get drunk, and lose her virginity? Hmm. I'm not going to judge whether that is right or wrong, etc, because that isn't the issue here, but it sounds like she needs to establish a firmer foundation in her faith to help her make more sound decisions that she won't regret afterwards (which it is very obvious that she does).

I really don't feel that you pursuing her to talk about it will help. You've already tried, so now it's up to her to come to you if she wants to talk. If she does come to you, I'd recommend just listening, and offering to pray with/for her. She doesn't need someone telling her "well, in the Bible it says that what you did is wrong." She already seems to feel that her actions were wrong for her life, so the next step would be for her to ask forgiveness.

 

[MagicPrime]

If you go up and smack a tiger on the face, and the tiger eats you - is it the tiger's fault that you are now dead?

 

[J. J. Jameson]

Well, I'd tell what's done is done. But that doesn't mean it has to be done again. If she really wants to seek God, He will give her guidance in her life. All she has to do is ask Him for forgiveness and help. And be serious about it. He'll answer.

 

[7Hells]

TW, until you get drunk yourself, you can't really comment on what it makes you do, right?

omg were we arguing about the effects of alcohol with someone that has never been drunk?

Now THAT is ridiculous...

 

[Colossal Spoons]

TW is like 15 years old lol; so I'd hope he's never been drunk. He does do inappropriate things to girls at concerts though......sober.

 

[lordofthenerds]

As other people have said, I'd tell her to just pray to God for forgiveness. And if she's Catholic she could go to confession I guess.

 

[The Last Meatbag]

If you go up and smack a tiger on the face, and the tiger eats you - is it the tiger's fault that you are now dead?

I've always wanted to meet Dr. Phil McGraw :heart:

how are you doing sir?