Corrupt A Wish - Part 2

[MissMarvelous]

Granted, you need to stay hyper hydrated so that your organism can work properly. (extreme urination :P)

I wish for a big plate of "kraut pirok" made by my grandma's sister. (extreme gas - because cabbage)

 

[Rozen Thorne]

OK but there may be something wrong with it, not saying that there is, but maybe. (Paranoia)

When it's super hot outside, I wish I didn't sweat so heavily in various cracks and crevices. (Perspiration)

 

[MissMarvelous]

Those little droplets of sweat, turn into acid as time goes by, it makes it unbearable!!! It's like a waterfall of acid between your cheeks, lord have mercy! The more you keep daydreaming, the more you sweat, more it burrrnsss... the crazier your get! NO... NO... STAY AWAY FROM THAT SAW! Chopping your butt off won't make go away!!!!!!!!! (homicidal rage).

I wish I wouldn't feel this bad. It hurts, it all hurts... my body, my throat. I had a severe episode of allergies yesterday and my scalp hurts too.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

That's a wish I'd like to grant, but you gotta take that pain, you eat that pain and grit your teeth and let that pain burn you up get you determined, a good sword is forged in fire, you master that pain and make it less. (I dunno I'm an old football player this is the stuff we're told)

I wish I hadn't played football in my youth, turns out the long lasting effects of that are pretty scheisse.

 

[MissMarvelous]

you master that pain and make it less

Well, it didn't work and I felt awful and woke up worse.

Granted... but you played rugby and that was much worse. Dude... what's wrong with your ears?

I wish nothing could affect me this much.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

You acquire CIPA a condition were you can't feel any pain and a side effect of having the inability to feel fear, so you really have to self monitor all the time.

Dude... what's wrong with your ears?

Huh?

I wish this grass wouldn't grow so fast, I just mowed last weekend for fecks sake.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Huh?

Have you ever seen a rugby player ear? After taking so many punches their ears turn into soggy thingies. I had a date, once, with a rugby player and he told me that himself... and it was true.

Granted, now, it doesn't grow! Not even an inch. And now it's getting brown, I guess you're familiar with the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side", well, not your side :P

I wish those faucets weren't leaking the whole time.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

The faucets don't leak, but now the house creaks and settles, the monitor/tv pops, and a multitude of other household noises are magnified.

I wish I had an EMH (Emergency Medical Hologram from Star Trek) that specializes in massage therapy.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Ok, you get one but I get one too!

I wish I could get all my body cracked by a gentle chiropractor.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Everything is nicely cracked and loosened, each time the effect lessens as your ligaments corrode.

I wish we could trade back Chadwick Boseman for any 100 politicians, yes he's worth more but let's not get crazy.

 

[MissMarvelous]

100 rotten souls for one? Ok... if you know his worth.

I wish I turn my sense of smell on and off whenever I need to.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Turn it off there goes the taste of food for a few days, turn it on all smells are magnified 10x.

I wish high end pain pills didn't have terrible side effects and an addictive quality.

 

[MissMarvelous]

The pills are not the ones to blame for. Blame the feisty kid for not having stayed still for a second.

I wish for a sunny day.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

The sun comes out of the clouds... well not so much comes out as burns the clouds to subatomic particles, it just quadrupled in size and power, safest spot to view this sunny day would be Pluto.

I wish I could be fluent in Japanese - speech and writing, for the anime, hentai, manga.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Ok, granted... could you write "peace" for a tattoo? :P

I wish to be able to feel better. At least a little bit.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

could you write "peace" for a tattoo?

平和

I wish to be able to feel better. At least a little bit.

Granted immediately without corruption.

I wish my cousin didn't have such bad seasonal reactions with bipolar disorder, seems like a double whammy.

 

[MissMarvelous]

平和

Google translator says that it's a trap!

 

[Rozen Thorne]

A regular googley search says it's peace, yer translater is wonky, bruv.

I wish I mastered every accent, not the language, just for the funsies.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Ok, you get the accent "on point" but you are not making any sense. WTH?

I wish everyone could have two wonderful neighbors like I do.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Everyone has the best neighbors on both sides, but that means the person in the middle is the bad one...

I wish I had an entire body Sybian that I could wear like a suit.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Sybian

I had to Google it... you better take care of my Internet history if I happen to "disappear".

Granted, but you need to plug the darn thing or it won't work its magic.

I wish I knew how come people make those things.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

I think lonely people look to science to engineer an artificial experience that is as intense as the best sex possible, for the most part it's just the same, the build up the blast the come down, the regret.

I wish listening to different music powered you up, like power metal made you temporarily invincible.

 

[MissMarvelous]

the regret.

The regret??? Oh, I'm missing that part and I'm not even sorry :P

Ok, I'm invincible while "Thunderstruck" plays. Thank you.

I wish this "I'm not hungry" feeling could stay forever, or for a good while.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

I totally get that, granted! Suddenly feeling ravenous for no reason is wonky and your brain is weird for doing that to you.

I wish it was so cold after being so hot, stupid bi-polar weather!

 

[MissMarvelous]

Granted, but it gets so cold that you want the day to come, and then it's so hot that you want the night to come... it's a never-ending story!

I wish "50 shades" weren't so idiotic.