Corrupt A Wish - Part 2

[Anubis]

Granted. You get shot and killed by homeland security trying to procure the Uranium to fuel it.



I wish I could consume matter and turn it into gold.

 

[Schlosser85]

You do, but the gold forms inside your body and kills you from the inside out.

I wish I had a better-paying job

 

[greenrage36]

Granted..you're the new bikini-fitter for the plus-sizes at your local Wal-Mart...enjoy!



I wish I had a never ending cup of coffee...

 

[Anubis]

Granted, but now coffee give you super diarrhea.


I wish My get up and go hadn't got up and went.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted..but you have to hear about it from Steven Tyler..he's living with ya now...



I wish I could make up my mind what I want for freakin' lunch...

 

[Anubis]

Granted, but by the time you figure it out, Lunch is over.


I wish I could help a friend of mine go back and stop himself from messing up his last chance to bang a hot chick.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted..but in the process you have to 'show him how its done' and he becomes jealous and kills yo' a**...


I wish I would have the opportunity to bang a van-full of hot chicks within the next hour...

 

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,but you now have a bad case of herpes.They had a bad case of it.


I wish I had a car like K.I.T.T.

 

[Anubis]

Granted, but due to a late night stop at Taco Bell, it decides that it doesn't want your Burrito Farts stinking up it's insides, so it hits the ejector seat and sends you flying into oncoming traffic.

I wish this scratch off I have in my had right now turns out to be a winner.

 

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,but I come along and take it from you.

I wish I had a talking cat.

 

[AxlsAppetite]

Granted, but he has a horrific Cockney accent.

I wish I could levitate things with my mind.

 

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,but you accidently levatate yourself and hit your head on the ceiling causing you to get knocked out and then you fall and hit yourself in the head on your bedpost killing you.



I wish I can fly.

 

[Anubis]

Granted, you get shot down by an F15 because you didn't clear a flight plan.



I wish I was indestructible.

 

[Duke]

The devil grants you your wish, but in the process you're now his pawn & an agent of evil.




I wish I had loads of cash & retire in paradise.

 

[Schlosser85]

Granted. You get kidnapped by Somali pirates for ransom and are shot and killed by US Marines in a botched rescue attempt.

I wish I had a boyfriend.

 

[<(o_o)>]

Sorry about that. Granted but he takes your money every pay day & goes out with an attractive girl.

Granted, but you fall in love with a gold digger whom you marry & she tosses you overboard on your own yacht & takes all your money for herself.

I wish Jesus were real & he actually came back to punish the wicked.

 

[PSYLENTGuardian]

Granted, but in his eyes, you are one of the wicked.

I wish I was in a bar with Bob Marley, Bob Dylan, and Bob Seger.

 

[Duke]

Granted, however there is a crazed fan in that bar & in the chaos & confusion you get shot dead.



I wish I had all the good things in life.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted, but at the point in which your wish happens science has determined that 'all good things' mathematically works out to 4.5 tons of cow patties..enjoy the royalty of the fields there!


I wish I still had my Star Wars actions figures...

 

[Duke]

Granted, but some guy comes along & beats you up for them!


I wish I had a time machine.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted...you're transported back to the Cretaceous Period and promptly gobbled up by a hungry T-Rex...



I wish my cell had unlimited minutes 24/7/365

 

[SPIDER-MAN-ROX]

Granted, but you are robbed & now the person who robbed you has your cellphone & the unlimited minutes & you can never get them back.

I wish I had the hottest girl in the world.

 

[Lord]

Granted, but she doesn't love you and ends up killing herself

I wish i had wolverine's powers, especially the imortality ones.

 

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,you have become a cartoon character.

I wish for everyone to have a nice 4th of July.

 

[Schlosser85]

Granted....but it's the last day before the alien invasion destroys the Earth and enslaves humanity.

I wish to get back into college