Corrupt A Wish - Part 2

[Spidermatrix53]

Granted, it all floods out.


I wish I had a loving pet who didn't need to be fed.

 

[Duke]

Granted, you have a Velociraptor & it has you for lunch (don't need to be fed by you.)






I wish I had a 60 inch LED tv with all the extras.

 

[Anubis]

Granted, but the bulb blows out and you didn't get insurance.



I wish I had an IMax theater in my backyard.

 

[AxlsAppetite]

Granted, but you didn't get permission from the city to build a theater so they closed it down then they blew it up.

I wish I had a really annoying itch on my back that I couldn't reach.

 

[Lord]

Granted, i can't scratch it as you asked and you go insane, going as far as to try to scratch it with a knife and a chainsaw.

I wish i was a successful filmmaker

 

[AxlsAppetite]

Granted, but now you suck and your new movies are so bad no one wants to work with you.

I wish that the next time I'm crossing the street I get hit by a car.

 

[Spidermatrix53]

Granted, but you survive with every bone crushed in your body, unless you're into that sort of thing.



I wish I could play softball.

 

[bored]

Granted, but you get so juiced on 'roids that your arms become too massive to move and you develop a "Cap-as-drawn-by-Liefield" chest.

I wish I was a billionaire.

 

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,but I come over and kill you.Now the money is mine.

I wish I was indestructable.

 

[Anubis]

Granted, but you're buried alive under 10,000 tons of Manure.



I wish there was something good on tv.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted, but you don't own one...so you're SOL once again...


I wish my teeth would brush & floss themselves

 

[Grillz]

Granted, but in the process all of your teeth fall out...

I wish I was a famous director.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted...you're known for helming the Teletubbies series..



I wish I had a 26 hour day

 

[Anubis]

Granted, but those two extra hours are spent in the bathroom suffering from violent diarrhea.


I wish I had some cool new shoes.

 

[Sensi]

You will get some but they won't fit

I wish to meet someone special today

 

[Lord]

Granted, you met me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish to be a millionaire

 

[Sensi]

You will be... in the land of monopoly

I wish I could have one happy day without someone ruining it.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted, but you step in a big ol' pile of doggy doo..(technically I think that qualifies..unless you count the doggie as 'someone')


Speaking of which..I wish someone would clean my shoes..and PRONTO!!!

 

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,I came by and forced you to lick your shoes.

I wish I had super hearing.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted, but everyone else is deaf and shout all the time..




(keeping with that theme)...I WISH YOU FOLKS WOULD SPEAK UP EVERY NOW AND THEN...US OLD FOLKS CAN'T HEAR YA!!!!!

 

[Sensi]

I will speak up BUT you won't like me yelling at you

I wish I had an admirer lol

 

[Anubis]

Granted. He shows you his admiration by kidnapping you, putting you in a deep hole in his basement, then skinning you alive so he can walk around in your skin in a Sensi suit....or maybe he's ugly or something.


I wish I didn't have to work and could just bang on the drum all day.

 

[Sensi]

You can bang on the drum all day but no one listens because you are in a padded cell.

I wish I could get a lot of things done today.

 

[Spidermatrix53]

Granted, but your mutation kicks in and and everything you have touched during the day bursts into flames.


I wish I knew even more about movies than I do now.

 

[scarletwonder]

Granted but you realise that in order to know more about movies you become a smelly recluse who's sanity slowly slips away as the boundaries between reality and make belief begin to blur.

I wish there was more time in the day