My review:
His name is LaBeouf. Learn it well. For his is the glorious face of the future of the cinematic art form!
...Or at least thats what those thunderous voices emanating from the Titans of Tinseltown have been bellowing for the last few years, as the ever-encroaching spectre of Shia LaBeouf slowly began infiltrating the tranquility of our daily lives. From the moment he was cast in Walt Disneys Holes (Has there ever been a dirtier sounding family film?), the buzz has been deafening, and the back-to-back-to-back hits Disturbia, Transformers and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull were likened to triumphant blasts, heralding the arrival of an unstoppable box-office force. So how does one follow up two bazillion-grossing extra-terrestrial themed blockbusters? You make a paranoid suspense flick dealing with governmental surveillance (Hey, it worked for Big Willie, right?).
Which brings us to Eagle Eye, a head-slappingly absurd cyber-thriller, which pairs LaBeoufs Jerry, a Copy Cabana-employed neer-do-well, with pretty single mother Rachel (Michelle Monaghan), and sets them on the run from their own government (handily personified by terse FBI man Billy Bob Thornton and gutsy Air Force investigator Rosario Dawson). The duo must obey an ominous female voice on a telephone (Julianne Moore in a wisely uncredited vocal cameo), who can see them anywhere, anytime, and who threatens their personal safety if they do not comply with her often bizarre demands. Should I also mention that amidst these energetic events a controversy swirls around a presidential decision to attack an Afghani desert funeral that may have been attended by a bin Laden-like terrorist? Could the two events possibly be related?
Now fine, the set-up for Eagle Eye is actually promising, and LaBeouf has a nicely shifty personality (though bad teenage facial hair was a questionable choice), all off-beat gesticulating and rapid-fire speech patterns, thats fun to see plugged in to something this generic. Hes a bit like Ratso Rizzos suburban nephew. But hes badly sidelined at the beginning of the second act when the script takes a laughable turn. Before proceeding, Id recommend anyone who yearns to experience Eagle Eye unsullied skip the next paragraph. Hark, light spoilers be on the horizon!
It turns out that the mysterious voice is Project Eagle Eye: a rogue governmental computer dubbed ARIA, which is modelled so closely to 2001s HAL 9000 that I hope Stanley Kubricks estate is getting royalties, who has decided that the United States government is in a critical state of disarray and in need of intervention (Oh, how I wish theyd cast Michael Moore as the ARIAs voice...). So, its plan is to stage the most overly-complex, silly scheme against the powers that be as inhumanly possible. It goes without saying that ARIA can control every single mechanical thing in the free-world: cranes, electrical conductors, iPhones and even, in a shameless plug, the Circuit City home-entertainment department.
Director D.J. Caruso, who helmed Disturbia, tries to ground all this nonsense by attempting to shoot the picture like a half-witted homage to seventies cinema. He has the gritty filters down, but his action beats are flat out embarrassing. The films first intended show-stopper, a rapid-fire chase through downtown D.C., has apparently been shot and edited by a blind epileptic, while the second, featuring a self-flying attack plane, is a second-rate rip-off of Stealth and Live Free or Die Hard. I dont even want to describe Carusos The Man Who Knew Too Much-lifted climax for fear of being haunted by Hitchcocks ornery ghost.
Perhaps Eagle Eyes most egregious crime, however, is wasting such an impeccable supporting cast. Rosario Dawson and Michelle Monaghan (who earned serious geek-cred with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) are as devoid of personality as their super-powered puppet master. At least Billy Bob Thornton, who bears a mad glint of secret self-amusement, almost manages to rouse the audience awake with his oddball behaviour and (likely improv-ed) dialogue.
This brings us back at LaBeouf: the Man, the Myth and the Legend. Hes engaging and idiosyncratic, and able to make badly-written sarcastic lines about trains turning in talking ducks strangely crowd-pleasing. While many would like to deny it, hes an excellent lead because he understands the importance of a charismatic, grounded central figure, and yet brings numerous attractive acting choices to the table. Unfortunately despite his talents, hes incapable of redeeming this project, which boasts an Eagle Eye... and a bird-brain.
Grade: *1/2