Help a Killgore out...

[Killgore]

Platinum Comics has released it's top 10 for the 2008 Comic Book Challenge, and like previous years, the winner is decided by internet voting.

My entry, The Reserves, is there, so I'd appreciate a little support.

So go check out the entries and vote -- a lot!

http://www.comicbookchallenge.com/contest.php

 

[SuBe]

I voted for you. I liked the set up and the charactors except the 10 year old that cuts herself, make it 13 and it'll be more believable.

 

[Killgore]

I voted for you. I liked the set up and the charactors except the 10 year old that cuts herself, make it 13 and it'll be more believable.

Thanks for the feedback.
I've heard that a couple of times, and have considered changing it. But it is part of the bigger revelation for the character. If the age is such an issue that you think it will keep people from staying on board for the reveal, then I probably should change it.

 

[Heretic]

I voted for you a few times.

Oh, and ten is too young.

 

[Killgore]

thanks for the support!

How about 12? Thing is, for the plot she needs to still be a prepubescent child, not a teenager.

 

[Heretic]

hmm...it depends on how important it is to the plot. My work puts me around lots of young kids...and truth is that a few of them are very young and have very severe emotional problems. These kids are usually victims of horrific abuse or what have you. This is a delicate line for a writer to walk, and if you dont do it right, it will look like...well...a guy in his 30s trying to understand kids...which is never a good thing.

Most of the kids that I know who cut themselves (I actually know, like...A LOT) are much older than what you are trying to make your character. I'm not a psychiatrist, but from the experience Ive had, 12 just doesnt seem like an accurate representation. Youd be stretching it is my point, so you better make it flawless or you'll lose believablity.

If the beginning of puberty is what causes her powers to manifest, then yeah...its an issue you have to deal with...you either tread very lightly on some very sensitive subjects...or you give her a new catalyst for her powers to start. Lord knows if you brush over a very traumatic event in a few sentences your books quality and believability will suffer for it.

 

[KALEL114]

You got my vote.

 

[Killgore]

hmm...it depends on how important it is to the plot. My work puts me around lots of young kids...and truth is that a few of them are very young and have very severe emotional problems. These kids are usually victims of horrific abuse or what have you. This is a delicate line for a writer to walk, and if you dont do it right, it will look like...well...a guy in his 30s trying to understand kids...which is never a good thing.

Most of the kids that I know who cut themselves (I actually know, like...A LOT) are much older than what you are trying to make your character. I'm not a psychiatrist, but from the experience Ive had, 12 just doesnt seem like an accurate representation. Youd be stretching it is my point, so you better make it flawless or you'll lose believablity.

If the beginning of puberty is what causes her powers to manifest, then yeah...its an issue you have to deal with...you either tread very lightly on some very sensitive subjects...or you give her a new catalyst for her powers to start. Lord knows if you brush over a very traumatic event in a few sentences your books quality and believability will suffer for it.

Thanks for your input. I might be PMing you for some of the finer points.

Ah, hell. Why not do it in a public forum?

The powers do not necessary manifest themselves at puberty. For Chastity (the cutter) she began to phase through stuff at a very early age. She has to concentrate to stay tangible, her natural relaxed state is to phase. She even has to concentrate to keep her clothes on. Now all of this wouldn't lead directly to cutting, but couple that with the emotional trauma she's suffered. She witnessed her mother committing suicide when she was five. She is aware that many people believe that since her father is a telepath that he mentally "pushed" her mother into killing herself. She doesn't know what to believe. The events of the big brouhaha in the sample pages, left her father -- um damaged to say the least (that's his story not hers). On top of that, she has an intellect of a Harvard graduate -- which for a 10 year old is more of a curse than a blessing. Her intelligence is not a natural cognitive development. In his grief over losing his wife (he did NOT kill her), and his loneliness, he turned to Chas and began reconstructing her thoughts and mind into that of her mother -- a sort of psychic molestation.

Chas represents the fabled innocence of childhood, the loss of that innocence and the scars that the adult world heaps onto its children. One of the themes I am developing with her is the way parents directly or indirectly form the psyche and world view of their children, often to detriment.

That's it in a condensed nutshell. So would a ten-year-old be into cutting? Probably not. This one? Probably.

 

[Killgore]

You got my vote.

thanks!

 

[Jennifer Walters]

I voted for you as well.

 

[Killgore]

I voted for you as well.

Thank you!t:t:t:t:

 

[Heretic]

Here's your escape...the mother killed herself, and now the daughter (who has been manipulated to think like her mom) is now ritualistically redoing the suicide, in a sense. This leads one to believe that the father was actually completely rewiring the daughter. Instead of "mom liked chocolate and I like vanilla, so now I like chocolate", pehaps the father was going further than than and attempting to remake his wife. This of course opens a Pandoras box because...eventually the daugher would "remember" cheating on her husband. In fact, if you wanted to make the mom sympathetic, you could make the father more of an evil type later on...after all...hes manipulating his daughters mind...and have his pressures be what caused the mom to seek out another man. So, you either have a position of the daughter feeling guilt and a pretty weird love for her own dad (tricky storyline there, best of luck), or you have her turn on him. Heck, if the father went the evil route then he'd have a sympathetic excuse for doing so, having lost those he cares for and/or being let down by others. Could the father read the moms mind? Surely he'd be aware of her cheating...or maybe the older daughter forced the mom to kill herself?? The answer can be anything...its the audience asking the questions that you want.

One thing I will add about cutting. People who cut are not proud of it. Its not a badge of honor. The kids you see with cuts on their arms...they typically are not the ones dealing with major trauma. The kids who are really cutting tend to do it in places where people cant see it, inner thighs etc. Your Chastity character has a bonus reason for cutting. Her phasing keeps her from being solid, real, having the ability to feel. By cutting, she feels something...which is better than feeling nothing...and the release of feeling is a reason why kids say they do it. You could actually use that to the stories advantage, given her powers. If you go the route that she actually is developing her mothers memories, then thats a whole heaping bag of questions that deal with the moms attitudes and life, but the powers give the excuse for the cutting. I'm okay with it now.

 

[Killgore]

Thanks for the insight. Really gives me a few new angles to think about.

In my experience (I dated a cutter and was friends with another) you're right, it's not a badge of courage. In fact, my girlfriend always wore long sleeve shirts or bracelets and wristbands. I have Chas in the front yard slicing away, and the rationale is that she never feels a sense of privacy. She always knows that her dad is in her head, and also her telepathic older sister. So fer it, it's "what the hell, why not. My thoughts are open to everyone anyway."

As for the dad, that gets more complicated. the irony is that he NEVER read his wife's mind. That's why he was unaware of the affair. He loved her so much, he respected her privacy. He would not read her mind without permission. As a result, he had no idea that his wife was cheating, and even more importantly, clinically depressed. He's a mind reader -- and as such isn't good at interpreting verbal communication and body language. He is wracked with guilt over this because his wife needed him desperately, and he was completely unaware of her internal suffering. So no, he did not kill his wife, she was married into a situation far beyond her comprehension, a mortal married to an off the charts ESPer, daughters with abilities that she could barely understand, and a husband who's deep respect made her feel isolated and misunderstood.

Thomas is not an evil guy. Just a very powerful intellect living amongst frail minds. He's been thoroughly screwed over by his country and best friend to boot. And the psychic molestation of his daughter is an attempt of a beaten, lonely man, desperately looking to regain the connection he had with his late wife. He's more pathetic than out and out evil. Basically, he's Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo crossed with Professor X.

 

[Heretic]

I get the respect thing...he reads everyones minds but since he loves this chick he doesnt read hers. The problem there is that why did the wife feel pressured? Because she wanted her mind read due to his inability to function in a normal relationship? Maybe the wife cheated hoping to get caught?? As a test? Then the guilt freaked her out...I think she needs a strong catalyst for the actual decision, but Im with you on the basics.

This requires the father to eventually have a total breakdown of his morals. He respected his wife so much that he didnt tamper with her, and then when she died he felt the need to overcompensate by tampering with his daughter. Thats a big leap, but not unbelievable.

The girl being a metaphor is a good idea. I like it.

 

[Killgore]

I get the respect thing...he reads everyones minds but since he loves this chick he doesnt read hers. The problem there is that why did the wife feel pressured? Because she wanted her mind read due to his inability to function in a normal relationship? Maybe the wife cheated hoping to get caught?? As a test? Then the guilt freaked her out...I think she needs a strong catalyst for the actual decision, but Im with you on the basics.

This requires the father to eventually have a total breakdown of his morals. He respected his wife so much that he didnt tamper with her, and then when she died he felt the need to overcompensate by tampering with his daughter. Thats a big leap, but not unbelievable.

The girl being a metaphor is a good idea. I like it.

The suicide of the wife happens in flashback. It's less about her motivations and more about how it affects the characters. The thing about suicide though is that the family rarely knows exactly why their loved one did it, even if there is a note. There's really no way of knowing. It has been shown that if the easy means to do so are not readily available -- such as access to firearms, tall bridges, drugs -- there is a lower rate of incident which infers a certain amount of acting on an impulse. Even survivors of suicide attempts tend to point that out. So for me, there is no definitive reason the mom does it. What's more important to me is the aftermath.

 

[Killgore]

Well it is grinding down to the wire. If you can take a few moments to pitch a few votes our way, I'd appreciate it.