musclesforsupes
Superhero
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2005
- Messages
- 7,117
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
READ WHAT SOME ENGLISH WEBSITE SAYS ABOUT BERMAN, MAGIC BULLET, AND ....HAZEL!!!! SHOCKING READ!!!
http://www.sportgate.de/board/post/81957/RSPW_->_Magic_Bullet_Infomercial:_A_Theory.html
The Rise of Berman
Ever seen the Magic Bullet infomercial? The Magic Bullet is a small
blender that promises you can make drinks and food quickly and easily.
What is interesting to me about the infomercial is not the product but
its cast of characters, one in particular. The scene: Early morning in
a kitchen inside a nice house. A British man and American woman are
hocking this piece of crap blender have apparently had a party the
night before because there is at least 7 people eagerly marking out for
the demonstration. One of the guests named Berman is the most
intriguing character I have ever seen in the history of infomercials.
Who is Berman? What does he do for a living? What is his story? This
post is an examination and theory of Berman.
Berman is a bald, overweight Caucasian man in his late forties or
early fifties. Throughout the infomercial, Berman is wearing a robe.
Why is he wearing a robe while everyone else is washed up and dressed
up? Are we to deduce that Berman partied harder than everyone else the
night before? Did he get laid? Is he a lazy, depressed mother f'er who
doesn't give a crap about anything? During the infomercial, the British
man makes a fruit smoothie and offers it to the guests. A greedy and
seemingly hung-over Berman grabs it from him and begins to drink with a
****ty, indifferent, haughty attitude. It is during this scene that
Berman gives a thinly veiled hint that he is indeed hungover. I want to
know who invited Berman over to the house? Throughout the remainder of
the infomercial, Berman briefly becomes the center of attention at
least 2 or 3 more times. At this point Berman becomes an enigma to the
viewers of the infomercial.
My theoretical profile of Berman's life is as follows: Berman is a
college dropout. He has never held a job longer than 8 months and is
currently living with his mom in a one bedroom apartment in the Los
Angeles area. Berman sleeps on a sofa in the front room. His last job
was at a pet store and before that he was a seasonal employee at a Toys
R' uS. He once had a job with the City of Los Angeles but was fired for
showing up to work drunk. Since Berman doesn't not help his mom with
the rent he spends his paychecks at strip clubs, horse races,
sportbooks, whiskey, and occasionally cocaine. With his mom at work
during the day, Berman spends the majority of his mornings recovering
from the night before and surfing the web for porn using an antiquated
pc. Berman's highlight everyday is waiting for the middle school kids
to walk home from school because he fancies one of them and likes to
peak at them from behind venetian blinds. Berman does have a criminal
record; in 1982 he was arrested for public intoxication, in 1985 and
1987 for DUI, in 1991 he was arrested for petty theft/shoplifting at a
mall in Long Beach, in 1993 and again in 1994 for soliciting a
prostitute, from 95-99 Berman remained under police radar until 2000
when he was arrested for indecent exposure. Since them he has remained
clean.
Berman has not owned a car in six years and relies on public
transportation and his ten speed bicycle to get around L.A. Berman
often interferes with kids playing street football games by proclaiming
himself "all-time qb" and prides himself on being able to accurately
throw a Nerf football. Berman also likes bragging about having Bo
Jackson's rookie card. Berman enjoys going to shopping malls so he can
stalk young girls.
Berman's appearance in the Magic Bullet infomercial will
forever be in my mind because he obviously has a dark past. In the
infomercial, Berman is booked as a fun-loving, easy going, fat guy but
to me he's something more than that. To me Berman is nothing but a
ruthless, conniving, and scheming low life who will stop at nothing to
get what he wants.
Berman obviously got drunk and banged Hazel (the older lady with the
half-smoked fake cigarette, and the ashes are about six inches long) in
a drunken stupor, and Berman not only had to face the face that he
banged the old lady, but he also has one hell of a hangover...and Mick
and Mimi (not as nice as you may all be thinking) secretly filmed the
Berman/Hazel tryst and put the video on the internet.
http://www.sportgate.de/board/post/81957/RSPW_->_Magic_Bullet_Infomercial:_A_Theory.html
The Rise of Berman
Ever seen the Magic Bullet infomercial? The Magic Bullet is a small
blender that promises you can make drinks and food quickly and easily.
What is interesting to me about the infomercial is not the product but
its cast of characters, one in particular. The scene: Early morning in
a kitchen inside a nice house. A British man and American woman are
hocking this piece of crap blender have apparently had a party the
night before because there is at least 7 people eagerly marking out for
the demonstration. One of the guests named Berman is the most
intriguing character I have ever seen in the history of infomercials.
Who is Berman? What does he do for a living? What is his story? This
post is an examination and theory of Berman.
Berman is a bald, overweight Caucasian man in his late forties or
early fifties. Throughout the infomercial, Berman is wearing a robe.
Why is he wearing a robe while everyone else is washed up and dressed
up? Are we to deduce that Berman partied harder than everyone else the
night before? Did he get laid? Is he a lazy, depressed mother f'er who
doesn't give a crap about anything? During the infomercial, the British
man makes a fruit smoothie and offers it to the guests. A greedy and
seemingly hung-over Berman grabs it from him and begins to drink with a
****ty, indifferent, haughty attitude. It is during this scene that
Berman gives a thinly veiled hint that he is indeed hungover. I want to
know who invited Berman over to the house? Throughout the remainder of
the infomercial, Berman briefly becomes the center of attention at
least 2 or 3 more times. At this point Berman becomes an enigma to the
viewers of the infomercial.
My theoretical profile of Berman's life is as follows: Berman is a
college dropout. He has never held a job longer than 8 months and is
currently living with his mom in a one bedroom apartment in the Los
Angeles area. Berman sleeps on a sofa in the front room. His last job
was at a pet store and before that he was a seasonal employee at a Toys
R' uS. He once had a job with the City of Los Angeles but was fired for
showing up to work drunk. Since Berman doesn't not help his mom with
the rent he spends his paychecks at strip clubs, horse races,
sportbooks, whiskey, and occasionally cocaine. With his mom at work
during the day, Berman spends the majority of his mornings recovering
from the night before and surfing the web for porn using an antiquated
pc. Berman's highlight everyday is waiting for the middle school kids
to walk home from school because he fancies one of them and likes to
peak at them from behind venetian blinds. Berman does have a criminal
record; in 1982 he was arrested for public intoxication, in 1985 and
1987 for DUI, in 1991 he was arrested for petty theft/shoplifting at a
mall in Long Beach, in 1993 and again in 1994 for soliciting a
prostitute, from 95-99 Berman remained under police radar until 2000
when he was arrested for indecent exposure. Since them he has remained
clean.
Berman has not owned a car in six years and relies on public
transportation and his ten speed bicycle to get around L.A. Berman
often interferes with kids playing street football games by proclaiming
himself "all-time qb" and prides himself on being able to accurately
throw a Nerf football. Berman also likes bragging about having Bo
Jackson's rookie card. Berman enjoys going to shopping malls so he can
stalk young girls.
Berman's appearance in the Magic Bullet infomercial will
forever be in my mind because he obviously has a dark past. In the
infomercial, Berman is booked as a fun-loving, easy going, fat guy but
to me he's something more than that. To me Berman is nothing but a
ruthless, conniving, and scheming low life who will stop at nothing to
get what he wants.
Berman obviously got drunk and banged Hazel (the older lady with the
half-smoked fake cigarette, and the ashes are about six inches long) in
a drunken stupor, and Berman not only had to face the face that he
banged the old lady, but he also has one hell of a hangover...and Mick
and Mimi (not as nice as you may all be thinking) secretly filmed the
Berman/Hazel tryst and put the video on the internet.
