I SEE SPIDEY PRESENTS: How do Vampires have sex?

[I SEE SPIDEY]

After reading Twilight and watching the movie I got to thinking, how? Their heart isn't beating so I assume that blood isn't running through their vains so...I don't get it? Also if they are sort of dead how can they impregnate a female, human or otherwise?

 

[Shemtov]

having sex is one their powers.

 

[CFE]

So Frank Miller turned The Spirit into a Vampire!?

 

[SuBe]

Semen can stay alive for up to 24 hours after the "Host" is dead. One can assume, that a Vampire "Balls" are similar in temperature to the Cryo-Genic statis Freezers that Sprem Banks use. So, then with that in mind, the better question would be, why would any female want to have sex with a male with 0% F balls?

 

[Eggyman]

After reading Twilight and watching the movie I got to thinking, how? Their heart isn't beating so I assume that blood isn't running through their vains so...I don't get it? Also if they are sort of dead how can they impregnate a female, human or otherwise?

I don't think getting a hard-on would be too difficult for someone that can transform at will into a bat, wolf, or mist.

 

[I SEE SPIDEY]

Semen can stay alive for up to 24 hours after the "Host" is dead. One can assume, that a Vampire "Balls" are similar in temperature to the Cryo-Genic statis Freezers that Sprem Banks use. So, then with that in mind, the better question would be, why would any female want to have sex with a male with 0% F balls?

lol Good response.

I don't think getting a hard-on would be too difficult for someone that can transform at will into a bat, wolf, or mist.

You are talking about some old Bram Stokers vampire and thats not what I'm referencing. I'm talking about non-shape shifting bloodsucker.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Because it's a fictional book, therefore it doesn't need to follow the basic laws of biology.

 

[Gilpesh]

Because it's a fictional book, therefore it doesn't need to follow the basic laws of biology.

Or the laws of being a good book...

 

[The Lizard]

Vampires would have to have beating hearts so that the blood they drink could be absorbed and recirculated through their bodies and revitalize them.

That's assuming we're talking about "scientific" vampires as opposed to supernatural magic vampires.

 

[Matt]

If erections are the result of increased blood flow to the penis...then how does something with a non-beating heart one? Blood does not flow without the heart pumping it. How would a vampire get an erection to have sex in the first place?

 

[Spider-Who?]

How does a vampire stay alive without a beating heart period. If there is no beating heart, then theres no need to stab them with a stake in said heart. Twlight is dumb.

 

[JLBats]

They ain't sucking all that blood for nothing.

 

[jaguarr]

If erections are the result of increased blood flow to the penis...then how does something with a non-beating heart one? Blood does not flow without the heart pumping it. How would a vampire get an erection to have sex in the first place?

He could have a pneumatic pump installed.

jag

 

[SuBe]

If erections are the result of increased blood flow to the penis...then how does something with a non-beating heart one? Blood does not flow without the heart pumping it. How would a vampire get an erection to have sex in the first place?

Viagra.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

How does a vampire stay alive without a beating heart period. If there is no beating heart, then theres no need to stab them with a stake in said heart. Twlight is dumb.

Well if you think Twilight is dumb just for that point, you think most vampire tales are bad, since a lot of vampire lore includes this fact. The vampires in Buffy and Angel were the same way, but we all know they could have sex. Never read Twilight, since I'm a guy and it seems very much like chick lit, but can't call it dumb for only that reason.

 

[Spider-Who?]

I havent read Twilight nor seen the movie. And no, I'm not calling it dumb for that fact, nor that fact alone. I'm calling it dumb because...well...it just seems dumb.

In other words, if you see a person driving on the wrong side of the highway, you're gonna say, man, he's dumb. But who knows they could either be a genius or a truely dumb person. But to you and the other drivers, viewing this ****** driving on the wrong side of the road, it doesnt matter who's in the car and why they're doing it. They're just dumb.

So yes by that logic, I can say without a doubt, Twilight is dumb.

 

[JLBats]

Yes, that's Spider-Who, bravely speaking out against a series of books written for teenage girls.

 

[I SEE SPIDEY]

If erections are the result of increased blood flow to the penis...then how does something with a non-beating heart one? Blood does not flow without the heart pumping it. How would a vampire get an erection to have sex in the first place?

Exactly.

 

[Spider-Who?]

Yes, that's Spider-Who, bravely speaking out against a series of books written for teenage girls.

Haha, its the point of my existence....sadly.

 

[Gilpesh]

Yes, that's Spider-Who, bravely speaking out against a series of books written for teenage girls.

And women who are upset about how their lives turned out and which a vampire would come and take them away from it all.

 

[I SEE SPIDEY]

Twilight just brought the idea for this thread to me. This isn't a thread about Twilight's lack of quality.

 

[Eggyman]

Haken from Let The Right One In had a permanent ***** when he became a vampire because he died pointing north.

 

[Twin2]

I **** you not venom. That's right vampires use venom to impregnate women.

 

[TLH]

More like, 'how do vampires have oral sex?'

*shudder*

 

[jaguarr]

I **** you not venom. That's right vampires use venom to impregnate women.

WTF?

jag